MindForce: Mental Fitness & Life Stories!
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MindForce: Mental Fitness & Life Stories!
A Journey to Empowerment: Courtney Carini on ADHD Diagnosis, Media Advocacy, and Overcoming Stigma
What happens when you discover a life-altering diagnosis in your late 30s? In this episode of MindForce, we hear from Courtney Carini, an inspiring ADHD advocate and coach, who learned she had ADHD at the age of 38. Courtney shares her heartfelt journey from being mislabeled as lazy and scatterbrained to finding empowerment through proper diagnosis and treatment. With a background in musical theater and comedy, she has transformed her experiences into engaging and educational content, raising awareness and breaking down misconceptions about ADHD.
We challenge the common misunderstandings about character traits often labeled as personal flaws, which may actually be indicators of neurological conditions like ADHD. The conversation delves into the spectrum of human behavior and the importance of professional assessments to avoid self-diagnosis pitfalls. Courtney's story emphasizes the impact of self-awareness and the courage it takes to seek help despite fears of being misunderstood or experiencing imposter syndrome.
As we navigate the intricacies of ADHD diagnosis and treatment, Courtney shares her insights on the benefits of medication, the stigma surrounding ADHD drugs, and the role of dopamine in managing impulses and addictions. We also explore the social dynamics of living with ADHD, highlighting the importance of supportive environments and the challenges posed by toxic ones. Join us for this enlightening discussion and gain a deeper understanding of ADHD and the journey towards self-acceptance and empowerment.
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Hello, I'm your host, nate Shearer, and welcome to the show. This is MindForce, the podcast for love, life and learning, where your mind matters. Today we have Courtney Carini on ADHD and spreading the word through social media. Courtney, thanks for coming on the show, and I'll give you a chance to open with some comments and tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 2:Thanks so much for having me. I got started on social media probably three years ago and it was just months after my own diagnosis at age 38. So I've had ADHD my whole life, as everybody does. Who has ADHD, um? But I didn't know it.
Speaker 2:Um, I had just been called, you know, lazy, spoiled, scatterbrained, airheaded all the things that you know make you think it's a character flaw my whole life, and so I was never prompted to actually look into it until I was just struggling during COVID trying to get work done on my computer, and I had a video game addiction at the time. It was on my phone, though I have some mobile phone, um, and I just could not do my work and it was so important to me because I own the company, like this was my own company. I have a walnut snack company called crazy go nuts, um, and I couldn't get myself to do the things that I needed to do that were extremely important. You know, this is the life of my my company Um, and I just offhandedly said that to a friend and was like oh man, I just can't. You know, I can't do these things and I just can't pull myself off of this game and I don't know what to do. And my friend just said, do you have ADHD? And I thought, wait, what is that? Is that the same thing as ADD? Or is that for kids? Is that like, isn't that like hyper little boys? Or is that the same thing? What is that exactly? And it was funny how, like this is something that we hear about our whole lives, we, and we even just toss it around like, oh yeah, I'm so ADD, you know, but, um, we don't actually know what it means and what it involves.
Speaker 2:And here I had gone 38 years, my whole life, with severe ADHD, having no idea that that's what was plaguing me. Um, so I got on social media and at that point, um, so I have a long history in, like musical theater and comedy writing, and so I've I'm pretty well versed in making videos already and making comedy sketches and stuff. Um so I got on social media and I started learning about ADHD excuse me, and um. And I started learning about ADHD, excuse me and um, and I started realizing that it pretty much makes up my entire personality, and so I started just making videos, funny videos, informational videos, sharing the stuff that I was learning. And this was when everybody was learning about ADHD on social media and it just my videos went really, really viral. Um, so it was really kind of a perfect storm.
Speaker 2:And then I start, people started asking me questions, expecting me to be an expert, and I thought, well, I want to know the answer to these questions and I want to give good information. So I may as well find out myself. And, you know, get certified, get a formal education. So I actually enrolled in school and I'm about to graduate with my bachelor's in psychology and addictions. My next step is to apply for a PhD program in cognitive neuroscience, because I would like to become a research neuropsychologist so that we can do some innovative research in these areas. And then, of course, I became a certified ADHD coach. And this is all while owning a business and working at full time, which is in true ADHD fashion of overloading your plate and over committing. So the last three years really has been about that transition of becoming a full time coach, which I am now. I am an influencer and a student and working my way out of that company and into this work full-time because it's. It's just so rewarding for me, it's, it's like finding my long lost family, my community.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. That's some good stuff. You're really doing a lot of different stuff. Sounds like a little bit of hyper-focus, um, but I'm curious, uh, so you went 38 years and didn't really know what it was like. You know exactly how you were designed and things like that. So an example I've seen on social media quite a lot is the person that's colorblind and they, I guess they have the new glasses and they put on those, those glasses and all of a sudden they see the things they've never been able to see before. Was that kind of what that was like, that eyeopening moment at 38 years?
Speaker 2:I will say that getting on medication was, um and I actually have footage of my experience my first time on Medicaid, on effective medication, because for some of us there is a very tangible like aha moment where suddenly your brain just like flips and you suddenly get to see what it's like to have a normal person's brain, and I describe it at and it's very emotional for a lot of people. For me, I was crying, it was it's a once in a lifetime experience and and and yes, it was very similar to the people who I'm. I'm, by the way, I think I've watched every single one of those videos.
Speaker 2:I'm addicted to them. It was very much like, um, that experience of the people who are colorblind. Um, but I describe it as the world stops spinning. Um, cause that's what it felt like to me there was this sudden stillness and almost like in in, like a silence where you know when, when the first snow of the season happens, and there's just this like eerie quiet and you just know that it's snowing just because of how quiet it is. Um, it's that stillness and just the awareness of just being super in the moment and very aware of your entire environment. Um, it's very hard to explain to somebody who hasn't had either experience like either doesn't know what it's like to be neurotypical or doesn't know what it's like to have ADHD. Um, but yeah, it's, it's um. It was definitely a life-changing experience for me.
Speaker 2:There was also, though, a bit of an identity crisis in it, because I had built my identity around all of my hobbies and ideas and all my grand schemes and that, and I really had attached my purpose and identity to these things.
Speaker 2:And then, in that stillness, I suddenly had the perspective to see how it was impossible to accomplish all of these things in one lifetime and I had to start purging hobbies and commitments and responsibilities and ideas and goals if I wanted to actually be effective at anything, and so there was a lot of grief in that and a lot of confusion and a lot to sift through, as far as, like, I had to spend the next three years understanding who do I really want to be, what takes precedent and what's the actual journey to get there, and how do I clean up this 38 year mess.
Speaker 2:In order to do that and I have to say I'm super proud of the work that I've done in the last three years I'm finally in a point where I'm really in the homestretch, like this room that I'm in. I'm you can't see the whole thing, but it used to be a doom room, which is the term that us ADHDers call the room that we just put junk, because it just piles up, because we just always have hobbies and things and then they we lose, they run out of dopamine for us and we never pick them up again, um, and so it was just piled high with just junk, um, but now it's fully cleaned out and it's a office in a studio and that's's from it's. It's reflective of all of the work that I've done in the past three years to kind of just go through that process step by step and sift through all of my stuff, purge everything that's not serving me and get a very clear idea of who I want to be and what I want to do and what the journey is getting there.
Speaker 1:That makes sense. I want to touch on something. The journey is getting there. That makes sense. I want to touch on something that you talked about. We throw around terms. We say, oh, you're so OCD when somebody wants you know something in order, or you're so ADD because you forgot to grab something. So if there is people out there and listeners, you know what's that tipping point or what's that advice you take from someone being slightly scatterbrained to. You know. Actually, you know what's that tipping point or what's that advice you take from someone being slightly scatterbrained to. You know. Actually, you know having the condition and you know not having people just kind of, you know, poke fun. What was that? Where it all came together? You said you started doing some research and when did it start to, kind of, you know, come together for you.
Speaker 2:See now, I didn't even know that that stuff was ADHD until I got on TikTok. So the reason I sought out the diagnosis was for the, the dysfunction that I was seeing, you know, right in front of me, which was I couldn't get my work done. I was addicted to video games. You know, I I was. I would force myself to open my computer and start to do a task and I would just sit there frozen, just not being able to do it because there was just this paralyzing anxiety around it and I didn't understand what that was. Um, and then I just kind of looked at my patterns throughout my life. Um, you know, there's things about like internet addiction and all that kind of stuff and I go, oh yeah, that was me. Um, and so I would recognize stuff like that when I was looking through the, the diagnostic criteria and stuff. Um, but it really wasn't until TikTok that I understood all the traits around it and like, especially the absent-mindedness. Um, in fact, I was just talking about this with my followers last night on my live session.
Speaker 2:It's so funny how nobody, nobody, tells you what normal is. So, if you're, for instance, there's a lot of us who were just raised around people like us because it has a large genetic component. So most of us have families full of it and we gravitate towards other people who are neurodivergent. So we kind of stick together and create neurodivergent families and then pick out friends who are also neurodivergent, because we identify with them, we relate to them. So we make our own little echo chamber of neurodivergence, of neurodivergence, and you don't realize that the outside world doesn't function like you and your friends and your family, because you know everybody you see and interact with is just like you, and so you all just commiserate about like, oh yeah, I left my phone in the. Every time I go to the public restroom I leave my phone in the stall, but nobody says what the normal standard is. And now that I'm medicated, how many?
Speaker 1:times. Is it one time? Is it 10 times? You're like I don't know. Can I tell you?
Speaker 2:that I have since I've been medicated. I've left my phone in a public restroom stall once in three years and I used to do it 100% of the time, every single time. Another thing was I would get in the car and I could never just get in the car and go Oops, my keys, oops, my phone Got to go back. Oh wait, did I lock the door? Yeah, I did lock the door. Go back. Wait, did I lock the door? Yeah, I did lock the door. Go back. Wait, did I lock the door? Yeah, I did, I did. Oh, but what about the? I wonder if Bender's okay, but you know, I couldn't ever just get in the car and go and I my boyfriend at the time would say things like what is wrong with you? And I would just think to myself what a jerk you know, because it wasn't.
Speaker 2:It wasn't presented in a way that's like hey, courtney, let's talk about this because this isn't normal. The normal cadence is, you know, hey, courtney, did you know that most people, that this happens to most people, like once every you know X amount of weeks? Um, not every single time. So, and I and I had no idea because the because we talk about these things as character traits scatterbrained, lazy, um, airheaded, absent-minded, um, because we talk about them as character traits, we have no idea that there could be a medical underlying, like I don't associate, like there was a time where he said to me I'm serious, you really should get checked out about this, and I'm thinking checked out for what? A brain tumor, like, what do you mean? Like I don't have dementia, I, I'm fine, I've always been like this, you know, so we don't.
Speaker 2:Um, that's the. I think the harm mostly is in talking about neurological problems as if they're character traits and so if somebody is, when you, like you said, if somebody's a little scatterbrained, that kind of set an alarm off in my brain Because I'm thinking, if you're identifying someone as different because they're more scatterbrained than the people around them, that tells me that they're dealing with something. So you know, I don't know. We could get down to the nitty gritty of like what the cadence is, but again, like no, there is no standard cadence.
Speaker 2:Nobody says hey, if don't know, we could get down to the nitty gritty of like what the cadence is, but again, like no, there is no standard cadence. Nobody says hey, if you do this more than twice a week, or if you do this, you know there is no standard. And no one comes knocking at your door. There's no doctors who come banging on your door saying, hey, do you have this symptom? Do you have that symptom? How often are you do you lose your phone? How often are you looking for your keys? Nobody asks that. They just we talk about it all as if we're like I'm so silly, you know. And so we don't connect the dots there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I find it interesting too, because everything's a spectrum, everything's balanced, you know, and so I find it odd that with the certain conditions and whatnot, we want this like weird pass fail thing either have it or you don't.
Speaker 1:And maybe that's true to a certain extent. You know if you're on one end or another, but there could be, you know, traits along the way that you have some of this and some of that, and so, uh, not everyone's going to look exactly the same, I think in a lot of cases, for some reason, we want humans to be cookie cutter, which is kind of really ironic because we're all very complex and the opposite of cookie cutter. So there's no real way to make like the exact same human. But I do find it funny and I mentioned something, even though it's slightly unrelated and maybe you know a little lighter, but on the radio it's funny. They were talking about people that were growing up with certain food habits that they believed to be normal their whole lives, and so they listed a couple of them, like a ketchup sandwich. They thought a ketchup sandwich was normal. And then they went over to a friend's house when they were older and like hey, can I get?
Speaker 1:a ketchup sandwich and they're like you just eat ketchup and bread. Yeah, that's it. But I think that goes to your point. Even though it's like lighthearted, like if you're surrounded by it, you're not sure if that's normal or not. You asked for the ketchup sandwich and you think that's. I think that's normal.
Speaker 2:Just as kind of a final note. I do get, um, you know, as an influencer who's not a licensed professional, yet, um, I do, I'm very aware of, like, the misinformation narrative and I do get the occasional troll. And I got to say I get very few trolls, but occasionally I'll have somebody who waves the big misinformation flag because, um, you know, because I'm not a licensed professional, I'm talking about things, characteristics and such, and of course I'm having an ADHD moment where my brain's just wiped clean. It's like a little etch-a-sketch where you're in the middle and someone just comes and shakes it. What was I saying? This information trolls licensed.
Speaker 1:Um, uh, what was I saying? Misinformation, mmm Trolls Licensed.
Speaker 2:Oh, like I said, these professionals aren't knocking down our doors. No one automatically screens you for these things. So the majority of us get diagnosed because somebody mentions it to us, because a friend lets us in, you know, or so it's kind of my I. I take it as my job to inform people of these things, to show them, hey, this isn't normal, hey, this is part of you know. This does mean that you know you should talk to somebody, or you know. You should at least know that this isn't the norm. Does that mean you have ADHD? I can't say that You've got to go have an assessment, obviously. But it took for me that friend after 38 years, saying, do you have ADHD? And I had gone to multiple therapists and I told them about all my crazy ADHD habits, including buying a pallet of video games and trying to resell them even though I didn't even have the console. You know so. And so those professionals keep failing us. So it's up to us to have to, like, clue people in. So it's tough.
Speaker 1:That is tough. If there was anybody out there listening, they were like I don't want to go in, I don't want to, you know, be classified or pigeonholed or things like that. What would you say to someone that's, you know, afraid of taking that step? You know, after you went, all those years.
Speaker 2:I think it's classic imposter syndrome and I think we all go through it, classic imposter syndrome. And I think, um, we all go through it, all of us do um because, again, these things are presented to us as character traits. And so if we go into the doctor's office and say you know, oh I'm, I'm scatterbrained, that feels like he should just tell me to go home, um, but it has a negative connotation, right right.
Speaker 1:That's the the worst part, the negative. It's not, like you know, a neutral or positive thing. When people say that, they're usually poking fun and things like that.
Speaker 2:So I think if it was a neutral term, that would probably be different, but usually those those aren't used in positive ways and I think the important thing for all of this really is to focus on the dysfunction because really, truly, in order for something to classify as a disorder, it has to cause dysfunction in your life.
Speaker 2:So what I tell people who come in, like I have, I do have some trolls who will come in and be like stop making it feel like we're hopeless. And you know, and ADHD is a disability, it's recognized under the ADA and there are I'm one of those people who is extremely relieved by that and is really helped by that because it makes so much more sense and helps me with my tools. But there are some people who it makes them feel broken or weak or less than or whatever, and my answer to that is always like, hey, if it's not causing dysfunction in your life, then you don't have a disorder. You're good man, you know. Keep living your life. I'm not going to try to convince somebody that they have ADHD and that they should go get checked out. If they're living a cool, happy life and none of it's falling apart, you know, if they're not having a ton of distress every day because of it, great.
Speaker 1:You do you? Yeah, that makes sense, and I think that was kind of what you were getting at earlier when I asked the question previously. If you're moving through and work's going fine, relationships are fine and things like that, I think that's where you start to get to that tipping point where you're buying the pallet full of video games with no end in sight and you know some of those things where it starts to unravel there a little bit.
Speaker 2:So, um, yeah, and and and. If you're going to the doctor like the, the great way to to kind of tackle the imposter syndrome as well is to focus on the struggle, because at the end of the day, you went through all of this um research and you went down the rabbit hole to find out about ADHD. You took the time to seek out a doctor and make that appointment and show up to that appointment, um. So you're clearly struggling with something. You wouldn't go to all that trouble if you didn't actually if you, if it wasn't plaguing you somehow. So focus on what your struggle is and talk to the doctor about your struggle and allow the doctor to look at your struggles and see where they think it lines up. You know, don't go in insisting that you have ADHD because you know obviously you're not the expert and the diagnosis isn't up to you and you can't prescribe yourself meds. So you want to go to the doctor and you want to say, hey, I'm struggling with these things and if your doctor is dismissive and I got to say there are a lot of problematic doctors out there who don't know what the heck they're doing and I'm sorry for that, so please go seek it out a specialist if you can.
Speaker 2:But the main point here is to focus on the struggle when you're talking to your doctor and make sure that your struggles are addressed. So if you're having these struggles and your doctor's just like and you're just a woman, it must just be your hormones, okay, but my, the other women are struggling with this and okay, then let's look at my hormones. You know what's the next step? How are we attacking my struggle? If it's not with an ADHD diagnosis, what is it? How are we gonna? How are we gonna approach my struggles? That really should be the goal of that appointment, not an oh, I'm not successful unless I get an ADHD diagnosis. Well, you don't know that you have that. How about your goal is I won't rest until my struggles are acknowledged and addressed.
Speaker 1:That makes sense. And so now we've kind of outlined that foundation on you know if you may or may not and going down that. So let's jump into how the role of medication fits into that. How does that initially roll out when you are diagnosed?
Speaker 2:Oh man, Well, it varies greatly based on where you are who you're seeing. Based on where you are who you're seeing. So the most effective ADHD medications are controlled substances. They are the amphetamines, the methylphenidate, the stimulants. Now they get a bad rap because there have been people who have developed addictions to them. Now the studies have shown and I have to if I'm going to start talking about medication I have to give the disclaimer of I'm not a licensed professional.
Speaker 2:I'm not a medical expert. Please back up my information by, you know, doing your own Google Scholar search and talking to your doctor. Doing your own Google Scholar search and talking to your doctor. But I'm speaking from a place of. I go to all of the seminars and talk to the experts, pick their brains. I read a ton of studies every day just for fun and for school, and I've been through my own medical medications journey and I've helped a lot of my clients through medications journeys, so I do my homework, helped a lot of my clients through medication journeys, so I do my homework. So, that said, um, medications are really, really effective for ADHD, and more so, even did I lose you? I'm going to keep going, just in case. Adhd medications are very, very effective, more so than any other medication for disorders, and I was watching a seminar given by Dr Bill Dodson, who's very respected industry writes articles for Chad or Attitude magazine. I've even cited some of his work in my assignments. Should I keep going?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're good.
Speaker 2:Okay. So Dr Dodson just gave a speech at this last ADHD conference and he went through all the different medications and all the different kinds of treatment for ADHD and, um, what he found from the studies that he looked at was that therapies like talk therapy and all and symptoms the only things that are effective for adhd symptoms are proper medication and exercise, um, and adhd coaching. It doesn't, it doesn't take away your symptoms, but what it'll do is it'll basically accommodate the world around you. So we construct the world around you to accommodate all of your idiosyncrasies of ADHD or of your disability. I should say so.
Speaker 2:Anyway, the medication can be extremely effective and it can absolutely change people's lives. My life has been a complete 180 from when I before I was medicated, Um, so it's, it's really effective and it can even be very effective in preventing addictions. We are extremely prone to addiction because it's a dopamine deficiency and when you're low dopamine, you're craving. You're just craving anything with dopamine food, drugs, money, gambling, sex, you name it. It's just that general craving that certain people interpret as a need, for you know all those different things.
Speaker 2:So, and the. Unfortunately, these medications have gotten a bad reputation and it's really just been because of the misuse of them. The really, the only people who are getting addicted to these medications are the ones who are using it recreationally when it was prescribed, crushing it up and snorting it. You know happens there is their brain's getting flooded by dopamine, and that's a recipe for addiction. Because when you flood your brain with dopamine, your brain basically says, oh my gosh, there's so much dopamine coming in, it's too much, let's shut down some of these receptors. And so, excuse me, so your brain downregulates some of these receptors. And then, when you stop, when suddenly the dopamine is gone and you have less receptors, your brain panics and goes oh my gosh, this is, this, is not enough dopamine. And so and that's the craving part, that's the, that's the addiction part, where you part, where you're feeling like there's a big deficit. So these medications, though, that are effective, aren't like extended release, where they're kind of dripping it to you throughout the day, and they're lower doses. We're not talking about methamphetamine, where it's these humongous doses. Methamphetamine, where it's these humongous doses I think he said something that's like 200 times the strength of what my Adderall is. So this is like the medications that we're getting.
Speaker 2:Are these responsible chemicals that are actually designed to accommodate our inherent deficiency and even it out, so that we feel relaxed and normal and not craving all the time and aren't distracted with things like food or video games or whatever. In fact, we're very prone to binge eating. I had a binge eating disorder for many years because we just have that craving and we're constantly trying to fulfill it and that's very, very distracting. You know, when you're trying to work Excuse me, on top of that, your brain is prioritizing anything that has dopamine over the stuff that doesn't. So that's what causes that paralyzation of I can't make this phone call, I can't, I can't make this appointment, I can't clean my room, I can't brush my teeth, I can't shower. You know we, a lot of us suffer from basic, um, basic hygiene, can't even get ourselves to do that. But we can do these brilliant things like build a business from zero to multimillion dollar company, you know. But we struggle with, you know, brushing our teeth and getting to the dentist. So, um, but that's because our brain is prioritizing the stuff with dopamine and it's riding that train and it paralyzes you when it comes to something that doesn't give you dopamine. So these medications are helping that, helping us even that out and are keeping us from seeking out those dopamine sources like drugs. So when you go to these conferences the International ADHD Conference and you go to the seminars by experts and we're talking about Bill Dodson, who has been treating ADHD for 25, 30 years or something, is doing research in the field on rejection-sensitive dysphoria he's really well-respected in the industry and they're all perfectly aligned in saying that these medications do far more good than bad, in saying that these medications do far more good than bad.
Speaker 2:And depriving someone of their medication is like depriving a paralyzed person of their wheelchair. It's really detrimental and it stunts people and it completely affects their lives and for me, even a big component of it is emotional stability. Dr Johnson talks about medication as being I think he called it emotional armor, and I think that's perfect. That's absolutely what it does for me. Instead of crying every time a sad song comes on the radio, or crying anytime I'm frustrated, stressed out, angry you know any feeling at all I actually have control over my emotions now. Now I only cry if something is really sad or, you know, hurtful.
Speaker 2:So these things can really cause a ton of dysfunction in our lives and so depriving us of them can really, really be detrimental and can absolutely be a matter of life and death, especially since ADHDers have a much smaller life expectancy I think it's something like 15 years less and it's because of all these reasons, there's all this dysfunction, that can cause a ton of low self-esteem, depression, so we can take our own lives because of that, just because of the despair around all the dysfunction. But it's also, you know, we get addicted to drugs. We also are adrenaline seekers, so we take risks all the time. We're also impulsive, so there's STDs and stuff. So there's all these components that put us at risk constantly when these medications could be helping us. So we're working against the laws they're a controlled substance laws. They're a controlled substance and we're working against stigma Because they don't. It doesn't really line up when you look at the research. It's not. The level of fear around prescribing these medications is highly unfounded when you look at the actual statistics highly unfounded when you look at the actual statistics. Excuse me Now, there are non-stimulants that can be effective for people.
Speaker 2:Statistically they're not the most effective and I can get into the neuroscience of why, but really, just to try to boil it down, but really just to try to boil it down into over-simplified terms. None of the non-stimulants just target dopamine, and dopamine is really the big problem. There's also norepinephrine, which is a problem. If you're really high in norepinephrine it can make you really on edge and easily distracted by stimuli. But that's not usually the biggest contributor to ADHD, it's usually the dopamine deficiency and these non-stimulants tend to not tackle the dopamine problem.
Speaker 2:My doctor put me on Welbutrin originally to start with. It's not a stimulant but it works on dopamine. But it's actually an antidepressant and it didn't work. And I hear a lot of my followers say that they had to try Wellbutrin first and a lot of these doctors you know they want to be safe and they want to take the extra precautions. Especially I'm with Kaiser and Kaiser, you know, is everything in-house and so they have these in-house policies. So I have to get drug tested and stuff if I'm going to be on Adderall and they have to try all these non-stimulants first to make sure that those aren't good options. So we end up having to go through these long journeys with our doctors trying to prove that we're not drug seekers. We have to go through the non-stimulants, we have to get our heart looked at to make sure that there won't be any heart problems on the stimulants. But again, the numbers don't actually show that the heart thing is a problem. It's not actually an issue. But anyway, I digress.
Speaker 2:The whole medication journey is really long and arduous and a lot of people give up right away. Arduous and a lot of people give up right away, and it's not necessarily their fault either. A lot of the doctors don't know what they're doing because they're not familiar with all of the medications that are available. They're not familiar with how to properly dose people, properly dose people, how to properly titrate. They're not informed on how to combine different medications to get the optimal effect or to combat negative side effects. So people get on a stimulant, they don't like the side effects and they go oh, I can't handle this, forget it, and they just don't ever call their doctor again and they give up when in reality there's all these other medications.
Speaker 2:There's things that we can try to mitigate these side effects. If you talk to your doctor about it, some of those side effects actually go away over time. You can start at a low dose until the side effects go away and then you can move up. There's just so many many options and not even all the doctors are aware of all those options and not and the doctors don't do the their due diligence in following up with their patient to make sure that, um, that these medications are being effective and that they're, um, they're having more benefit, uh, than than struggle, um.
Speaker 2:So you know, I would say that my advice to anybody who wants to go down the medication road and you know I'm very pro-medication because I've seen what it can do and I realize that it's a very personal issue, and I would never push medication on somebody who just, like, is morally against it, it's against their values, or, and you know there's some people who can't be on medication for whatever reason they have health problems or whatever. So I would never push it on somebody who really is against it. But for anybody who's scared or skeptical or just has hesitations, really I would encourage you to go out and really just do the research, like, figure out for yourself what's available, how it works, and then talk to your doctor and be in constant communication with your doctor about how you're feeling. What's next, make sure that they're up to date on all of the latest medications, because there's still new ones coming out. So I really think that it's an uphill battle right now. In regard to education, we really need to educate everybody about these medications, how effective they are, why what's available. And that includes the doctors and includes the patients too, because the patients if you only think that there's one medication for this and one dosage and it didn't work, you're just not going to call your doctor again. But they need to know that this is a process and there's going to be a lot of trial and error, but we'll get there.
Speaker 2:And, unfortunately, there are some people who have these genetic predispositions that make them very resistant to certain medications. Like I have a client right now who's tried every stimulant under the sun and she's on, like the maximum dosages and she feels awful because she keeps going to the doctors and the doctors looking at her like she's a drug seeker, but she's like no, I did the genetic testing. I'm showing you my body's resistant and all of our bodies are so different, like we process these medications in so many different ways, like they go through so many different parts of our body, our liver. You know, there's so many places where the medication could, you know, oh, we don't have the right metabolite or we don't have the right, you know, enzyme to process it properly, for whatever reason, and every person is so vastly different from the next. We end up talking about these medications like it's one size fits all, and it is really the opposite. It's really very, very tailored to each person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that makes sense. I'm glad you were able to cover the medications and then also some of those alternative therapies trying to work through, but it sounds like the main thing is really just trying to stick with it for a while because it could take some time. The next thing I wanted to get into, uh, myself I'm active duty military and so I'm curious, uh, the next topic I want to get into is stigma. Um, there's stigma in the civilian sector and then there's, you know, even more of a stigma in certain professions and things like that. Um, so, with specific professions or career fields and things like that, do you have any advice for, you know, kind of breaking through the stigma?
Speaker 2:sure. So it's a. It's a little difficult when we're dealing with occupations because, much like relationships, if you're diagnosed late, you have already gotten yourself into that relationship or job and you didn't necessarily vet it when you got into it for being conducive to your disability, got into it for being conducive to your disability. So what I find is that a lot of people who are late diagnosed will suddenly look at the people around them and there will be people there's, there will be people and I kind of put them in two different categories of. There'll be people who don't understand and there'll be people who I and I kind of put them in two different categories of. There'll be people who don't understand and there'll be people who don't want to understand, and one of those I'll give you one guess is toxic. Um, so you know, and I and I've been definitely exposed to both so, um, the, the person who doesn't understand is the person who asks questions or says something like doesn't everyone do that? But then when you say, hey, you know, this is actually my ADHD, or you, you explain your inner struggle, they listen and they take your word for it and they give you the benefit of the doubt and, um, I think that's. The difference is that the people who don't want to get it impose their own be, impose their own views on you and insist that they're right. And no matter what you say, your experience is, they insist that they're right. And that's just an attitude that is toxic and it is not. It's a non-starter and it's not a healthy environment for people with ADHD. So what I tell everyone is that you're in control of your own narrative and there's kind of two general mindsets of ADHDers.
Speaker 2:One is somebody who doesn't want to seem broken, doesn't want to seem less than Usually. It's the person who was diagnosed young and was called a bunch of slurs and was treated like they were stupid and was maybe put in special ed when they felt like it wasn't right for them, you know, and was looked down upon because of it their whole life. That person usually doesn't want people to know that they have it and doesn't want pity about it, doesn't want to be called a disability. And then the other side is people who tend to be in my position, which is struggled, struggled, struggled for so long and we're told that we had a bad attitude. We're spoiled, we're lazy, blah, blah, blah and just thought how could I be all these things, I'm trying so hard, I'm doing all the right things, I think, and I I'm still, you know, I'm still. It's still not working and finally we find out that we have a disability and it's like, oh my gosh, finally somebody gets it. See, I am struggling, I am exhausted every day for this reason.
Speaker 2:Um and so, for the people who don't want to seem broken and um, you don't have to tell anyone. You don't have to tell anyone. Or what you can do is you can talk to your employer, talk to your work environment, talk to your the people in your life about all the positive things about it. Yeah, I have ADHD, but I've managed the um, the symptoms by, you know, creating systems for myself, maybe being on medication, and it makes me very creative and I'm an outside the box thinker and I have this insatiable curiosity that makes me a great problem solver, you know. So you can really be positive, forward with it.
Speaker 2:Or, if you're someone like me who, you know, people didn't think there was anything wrong with you because you didn't, you know, wear that badge on your arm this whole time Um, you can say things like you know it does. I know that I look like I have my stuff together but, um, there are some very invisible struggles that I deal with and, um, I would really appreciate some understanding, if I would really appreciate some understanding, if you know when you know XYZ happens. Or I would really love if we could do something in a way that helps me. You know XYZ. You can ask for accommodations to help you.
Speaker 2:That work with you and that's part of my coaching too is figuring out how your brain works, like what it actually responds to, and it's going to look unconventional to an outsider, it's going to look weird. You're going to have unconventional methods of doing things. But if you're actually allowed to do those, if you're actually allowed to do things the way that your brain wants to, you can be more productive. You can, you can make progress, and so, as long as those methods aren't disrupting anything or causing harm anywhere, why wouldn't your employer want you to use those methods? If it means you're going to be more productive, if it means you're actually going to meet the deadline? You know, whatever you need, yeah, let's do it. Who cares if it's out of the norm, you know. If it's not hurting anyone, go for it. But you know your employer better than I do. Everybody has a different employer.
Speaker 2:And everybody has a different partner and family life. So you really it's really just about navigating those different personalities, but my biggest piece of advice would be you are in control of your life, and that includes who you surround yourself with, and I've been in situations that felt completely trapped and impossible to get out of, financially dependent on somebody, um, living with them, you know, having pets together or whatever, um. But I'm here to tell you that you can. You can choose who you can be around. You can leave that job, um, yes, it, it.
Speaker 2:It can feel devastating, it can feel like a nuclear bomb at the time, because it's a huge, major change, but if you are doing it in a way that puts your sights towards surrounding yourself with people who are healthy for you, who acknowledge who you are, love it, value you for all of your positive attributes, value the things that come out of your mouth you know, trust you, um, and want to work with you, regardless of what your needs are, it's very, very, very worth it in the end, um, and as long as you're in those toxic environments, it's going to feel like a major struggle bus, but the minute you're ever put into an environment that's totally healthy, of people who get you. It's absolutely life-changing and you can completely see the contrast. It's like I can't explain it. It's like arriving in heaven, where everyone just automatically gives you the benefit of the doubt and understands all your quirks and you don't have to apologize for anything because they just get it. You know it's magical.
Speaker 2:So, yes, it's hard, it feels a little ableist and elitist to say you know, get yourself out of the toxic environment. But you know, I know how difficult it is. I've been there and I can tell you that I and I avoided it for years because of that and I wouldn't even tell my therapist. You know it's better for me to endure the pain right now because you know in the long run it's definitely worth the nuclear bomb.
Speaker 1:I take that out of context, take that out of context.
Speaker 1:That's not a good soundbite. Well, that's good stuff. I'm glad you came out and sat with us for a little bit. It was a good time. I thank you for taking some time. It's kind of crazy out here in Stuttgart, Germany. I travel too much. I'm tired, but I'm glad you could come out and share some really good advice. I can't wait to piece this all together and get some. You know better sound bites than the nuclear bomb. But yeah, thank you for coming out, Courtney.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Well. I encourage all the listeners Let me know what their thoughts were on this episode or any others. The audio is on Buzzsprout and then the video is on YouTube. I love you all. See ya, you.
