MindForce: Mental Fitness & Life Stories!
Join Nate on MindForce, a podcast exploring the intersection of love, life, and learning. Through authentic conversations and personal stories, we dive into the complexities of mental fitness, self-care, and personal growth. With a focus on empathy, resilience, and inspiration, MindForce is a safe space for listeners to reflect, learn, and connect with others. Tune in for thought-provoking discussions, heartfelt stories, and practical insights to help you navigate life's challenges and cultivate a stronger, wiser you!
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***The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the individual(s) involved and do not reflect the official policy or position of the United States Air Force, the Department of Defense, or any other agency of the United States Government.***
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Intro/Outro Music handcrafted by Jason Gilzene / GillyThaGoat: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/gillythagoat/1679853063
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MindForce: Mental Fitness & Life Stories!
Embracing Life's Journey: Risa August on Advocacy, Resilience, and Cultural Exploration
Nate Scheer converses with Risa August about shifting perspectives to transform limiting beliefs, shared experiences with the healthcare system, and embracing authenticity through travel and adventure. The episode inspires listeners to challenge their own mindsets and advocate for their health, urging them to live fully and authentically despite life's obstacles.
• Personal journey through health challenges
• Importance of self-advocacy in healthcare
• Reflecting on identity and authenticity
• Travel as a means of transformation
• Embracing resilience and gratitude in difficulties
• Shifting perspectives to overcome limiting beliefs
• Encouragement to connect with others and explore new horizons
Thank you for watching. Hi there, I'm Nate Shear, your guide on Mindforce, where we're all about love, life and learning, because what's on your mind really does matter. Today we have Risa August, and today we will be talking about shifting perspectives to remove limiting beliefs, travel and adventure and embracing authenticity.
Speaker 2:So we'll start with the warm-up, the who, what, why, who are you, what do you? And I'm so grateful to be here. My name is Risa August, but it's spelled with one S, so it throws everyone off, and so I hear Risa a lot, and I'm based in Colorado. I'm an award-winning author, gestalt practitioner, speaker and patient advocate. And that was the who, what, where, when, where right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, who, what, why, where? Yeah, all the things. Anything you want to say about yourself, really just lay the foundation, which I think you did a good job, unless there was something else you wanted to say.
Speaker 2:Lay the foundation which I think you did a good job, unless there was something else you wanted to say. Oh, just that. Yeah, my life just has unfolded in a way, in an unexpected way, and so here I am on this interview with you.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. So I'm actually a healthcare administrator, so I sort of know the term patient advocate. From your perspective, what does patient advocate mean for you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so well, it actually happened. By accident. In 2018, I was diagnosed with a tumor at the base of my brain and it caused a rare. It's causing a rare disease that essentially destroys the body over time. It's the disease is called acromegaly, and it dumps excessive amounts of growth hormone into the body and anytime you're messing with hormones it wreaks havoc. It throws everything else off kilter.
Speaker 2:So when I went on to research and try to figure out, okay, like, what is this tumor I have and what is this disease, there wasn't a whole lot of information out there.
Speaker 2:Yet I started reading about how these tumors are actually more common than initially believed and they're just really difficult to diagnose. And it took almost eight years for me to get diagnosed, and earlier diagnosis can change a person's entire trajectory of their life. So I was like, wait a minute, If I can't find a whole lot of information out about this, like different treatments, any concerns, symptoms, side effects, like, if I can't find the information, there's got to be other people out there who are having the same issue. And so I just decided, you know, after being told, well, you shouldn't do this anymore and you can't do that anymore, and I was like, well, wait a minute. Why are these people telling me what I can and can't do about something I don't fully understand? I was like I'm going to ride my bike from Canada to Mexico and I'm going to see if that makes some noise about this rare disease that's believed to not be so rare. We need to draw attention to it so that people can get diagnosed earlier and have a very different prognosis than mine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's wild to me the way the healthcare system works and maybe it works different in different countries and things like that, but it seems like we're so reactive. So I lost my dad to lung cancer a few years ago now and it's just so interesting to me. He was walking around doing you know the things he did, you know loving life, going to work, riding his bike, and he had a cough for a week and the cough was for you know, two or three weeks and then I think it was about the time the cough got to the fourth week, his lymph nodes kind of swollen up and it just seemed a little odd and so he went in and then it was basically straight to stage four cancer and you know he fought for a couple of years but ultimately ended up, you know, not winning. But it's just so wild to me that, like you, can be walking around, you feel, you know, fairly normal.
Speaker 1:You know we all, you know, have, you know, some illnesses and feel bad on you know, certain days, but overall, like you feel, like you're okay until, like your point, there's so many different things that we just don't understand or don't know about, or but it seems like, like you said there, you know more people than we we think are walking around with things. So I just wish that we could lean more towards testing in a proactive manner. But I don't know if that's you know, a fear of finding things out, or I know I've heard from some people like you don't want to run tests because then you're chasing your tail trying to like you know which came first the chicken or egg type thing. So you don't want to see all these things and not be able to track them down. But I do wish that it was a little bit more proactive, as opposed to like you wait until you know something bad has gone wrong and then you go in. Is that how you kind of felt, like you were at that point when you, you know, discovered?
Speaker 2:Right, well, let me ask you this discovered Right? Well, let me ask you this Like, do you think your father, like, had some symptoms or side effects that he ignored? Do you think he, like, did he ever had to have a checkup and people were and doctors were, like, well, you're healthy, so we're not worried. Like, did anything like that ever happen?
Speaker 1:Yes, it was actually back and forth with the VA for a while. So my dad was in the Air Force and he had something that was discovered on his lung when he was still in, about 15 years before, and they said, well, it looks to be benign, it should be fine, and we don't want to mess with the lung. So it would have potentially impacted his lung capacity. But obviously now hindsight's 20-20, 20 so it's a little unfair. He's like we much rather you would have had trouble breathing a little bit and still be here versus, you know, being gone. But obviously it's easier said than done on this side of it.
Speaker 1:But at some point in the 15 years it went from benign and kind of crossed over. But no one really knows when or where or how that went or if that was the exact point that it stemmed from, but it does seem like, with it being on the long and being related to it, probably was that and they finally came to a conclusion. My mom had to fight the VA for quite a while but finally got that connected to service so that she could, you know, get taken care of. So she's good now and all that is squared away. But yeah, really no way to know if that was the exact thing or how it all played out, but some type of contributing factor back then.
Speaker 2:So yeah, wow, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Well, it seems kind of unfair too, because, like the lung cancer is just, you know, painful. Because he never smoked, he didn't hardly drink and and so some of those things are a little difficult. But uh, secondhand smoke, and he loved a bowl and the bowling alleys back in the day were full of smoke. Yeah, so there was a lot of different things that could have been contributed. Either you know from work, you know flight line type stuff, or you know moving over to the bowling, who knows, gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that it sounds similar in the sense of you know.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know if similar is the right word, but you know you asked me about my diagnosis and I just kept being told well, well, you're healthy, you know, you work out, you're an iron man, athlete. You know we're not worried. And I noticed changes that started off as subtle changes in my body and I remember thinking this isn't right, like there's something not right. And I kept going to my doctor and they kept saying, no, you're fine. And that just goes to show how much we put our lives into the hands of doctors. You know they kept telling me I'm fine and my blood work's fine. And even though there was something in my gut saying no, I know there's something like there's, I'm in tune, I'm an athlete, I'm really in tune with my body. And you know, check this again. You know how, about this test.
Speaker 2:And it wasn't until, yeah, about seven and a half years later, where I had such severe headaches I was hardly sleeping and had to get to a point of demanding from you know, can we just have an MRI to rule everything out? You know, the first two times she was like no, I'm not ordering that for you, they're expensive, you don't need one, you're fine. And it was the third time I said order me the MRI, and you know my financial state is not your business right. And then, one week later, I had an email from her very brief so you have an enlarged pituitary, go see an endocrinologist. And that was the last I heard from her, because I fired her, you know. But I, you know, never got an apology or you know. Wow, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you kept, you know, I'm sorry, I didn't listen to you, you know.
Speaker 2:And so, yeah, I went on to ride, you know, through brain surgery and radiation treatment, I started finding myself plummeting into this dark place of like, well, who am I now? I was this like super athlete and rigid perfectionist, you know, always overachieving kind of person, you know, actually pretty annoying to most people and I, but that became my identity. And then, all of a sudden, here I am, stuck on the couch. I had been living in these tattered gray sweatpants for what seemed like months and months, and months, and I could barely get off the couch.
Speaker 2:I remember thinking, well, what's the point of life? Because I could only see it one way. I could only see it like wait a minute, if I can't be that person anymore. What's the point of life? Because I could only see it one way. I could only see it like wait a minute, if I can't be that person anymore, what's the point of life? And so a couple things here.
Speaker 2:But I decided okay, I want to live. I want to live, and I want to live bigger and better than before. And I wanted not just like I'm going to do all these great things, like I wanted to be better. I wanted to be a better person. I wanted to be more compassionate, I wanted to connect with people more. I didn't want to be that rigid overachiever that always had to be the best at everything. And so this diagnosis really provided me with that opportunity of kind of reflecting and looking at my life. And so then that's when things started shifting of like, okay, well, I went from focusing on who I no longer was, what I couldn't do, poor me to all of a sudden, well, wait a minute, what can I do? Who can I be? Who do I want to be? What's this next phase of my life going to look like? And that changed everything, shifting my mindset around. That changed everything for me.
Speaker 1:I got so many questions on this one. I think the first one is it's so interesting to me A good reminder that doctors are practicing medicine. So they are, you know, trying their best, but there is so much out there they don't have it all down. So I think sometimes we're like we see the eight years of school or 10 years in the residency and everything, and there's just too many things out there. You watch an episode of house and that'll remind you he comes up with some rare thing from the Amazon or whatever. But I I'm curious, like what is your advice to listeners? Because I think this is something we all struggle with, where it's a little thing, it's a cold, it's a cough, it's a whatever, what was that? Like going back to, you said you felt that it was off and you knew it was off. Like how do you know where you're? Like, oh, I don't want to be a nuisance, I don't want to, you know, bother anybody because it's small or you know could you have you reflected on.
Speaker 2:You know if you would have went earlier, or things like that. I I've had moments like that. So you know, at this point you know what's the point of looking with. That said, you know I had knowledge is power, like now I have more information. Now I now I pay attention to everything, all the changes, and now I know how to move forward from here.
Speaker 2:But as far as, like you know, anyone who's listening don't be afraid to be a hypochondriac. I guess I don't know if that's the right word I want to use, but like I think I started to feel like a hypochondriac, like I was making this stuff up. I felt like okay, like maybe this is in my head or I'm being paranoid. For example, I had extreme weight gain. It was like an all over, like extreme puffiness, like if you overdosed on salt and gluten and everything that every kind of inflammatory you can imagine is what it felt like all over my body. And I remember I would start, I would talk to friends about it, because I mean, I was a CrossFitter and a triathlete. But I would talk to friends about it and I almost felt like they were like sure you're not eating bags of potato chips. Sure, you're not eating pints of ice cream. And it was really frustrating because I actually wasn't. I don't even really like potato chips, chocolate's my thing. But I just remember thinking, okay, maybe it's in my head and I actually started going to Overeaters Anonymous because I thought I started thinking that maybe I have a problem I'm in denial about and I would sit in on Overeaters Anonymousimps and I would hear people tell their stories and I'm like I can't relate to any of these, like I don't. And I was trying to fit in there and I was trying to and okay, maybe I have exercise bulimia, like I was all these new terms I was hearing, and okay, maybe that's what I have.
Speaker 2:But there was something in me, despite all the other people that I felt in my life, even people close to me that I didn't feel believed me. I knew I knew there was something going on that didn't add up in my body. So I kept going back, kept going back, kept researching, and I almost didn't ask for that third time, for the MRI. But something in me found my voice that day and I said I said order me the MRI. And so I don't even really know if that answers the question but like, if you feel something's off, just do all the tests, rule it all out. You know, I mean I did all the tests and we were down to the last one MRI and I was being told no. And I'm sorry, but it was the best $1,500 I ever spent because it helped me get to the place of. I knew I wasn't crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think the core of that is being your own advocate and make sure you're taking care of yourself. So, yeah, I definitely want to back up and say I did not mean to like reflect on the past and what, what, what it could have, should have, cause I think, like you said, that'll really drive you crazy trying to think if I would have gotten earlier, but more you know what was your advice to switch. I think that was perfect, like, just keep taking care of yourself. You know, if it feels wrong, it feels wrong and I think, ultimately you know because you're the person. So if it feels off, then just keep going. Maybe it doesn't show up that day.
Speaker 1:I think that's one of the things that drives me nuts the most of the doctors Like you have something and you go and you can't seem to recreate it while you're there. I don't think that's the case in yours, but that is always frustrating. Like no, no, this thing, it happens. They're like, yeah, and you can't get it to pop or twist or whatever it is. I'm having trouble with my knee and shoulder right now and I feel like I go in and they're like you look fine, I'm like, but it hurts, I don't know how to recreate it. But yeah, it's good advice. Be your own advocate and just keep pushing.
Speaker 2:And I think it was a great question. I think it is important to reflect back. I think that's a great question because that's how, that's how I learn. It's like from you know, from my past, like, what have I learned? You know well, I'm not going to do it that way again, or do it differently now, or ask these questions. So I think it was a great question.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's definitely true. I guess just not sitting there and spiraling or anything. You know, learn and move forward, process the information we're always learning and growing. So I wanted to give you a chance to ask me a question before we jump into the fun.
Speaker 2:Great, yeah. Well, I mean, I have a million questions for you. How about you know, like so, did you ever have, like what was one of your biggest life lessons? Or did you ever have a moment where you know you knew something, intuitively or in your gut, and you know you either you trusted it or you didn't trust it? And what did you learn from that, that experience?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think my biggest one would probably be from losing my dad. It's something that was really difficult and a lot to process. I've always been pretty upbeat and happy-go-lucky and that was something that really sets you back a really difficult time. But one thing that I always return to and it really gets me going and gets me through tough times and things like that is reflecting on him being in this world for a certain period of time and to raise me and put the principles into me and make me who I am, so I can continue to be who I am, and push that out into the world. And so it.
Speaker 1:I think it would be easy to focus and be like, oh, I wish I had more years because he, you know, passed at 50. So we're like, oh, that's so much life to still live and things like that. That feels too early, it feels unfair. But I, you know, kind of turn it and flip it the other way. He was here through those 50 years for a reason because he had a lot of weird stories and I wish I had my grandparents on so they could, you know, guide me and make sure the stories aren't wrong. But I feel like he'd been like hit by lightning like you know, kicked by a horse, fell off like a cliff, like there's. He has all these stories where he probably, like, shouldn't be alive. Uh, throughout his childhood they lived out in the middle of, uh, northern southern California and then to Idaho and so they lived in some rural areas doing, you know, farm stuff and whatnot. And so that helped me, like the stories I heard and whatnot, helped me understand like he was here and here for a reason, even though it's only 50 years and obviously we'd love you know more the 50 are there for a specific reason to get me squared away and my brother and my sister and we're off, you know, helping and doing stuff, and that doesn't happen if he doesn't make it past his crazy childhood of being all crazy.
Speaker 1:So I think that really helped me, because I think a lot of people I've heard are like I want to share this and I want to share that, and I do as well. I mean I'm not dismissing that I get hung up on the smaller things a lot more than I think others do. Like in the military, we changed uniforms a couple of years ago and I wore my new uniform for the first time and I really wanted to call him and, like, talk to him about wearing the new uniform and it's like, not like it's not a marriage, it's not like. You know, there are big things that would be really difficult, but mine have always been like smaller things where I catch something at work and I wish I could share and I can't, but I try to flip it back around and like he was here for those 50 years for a specific reason. So that's what I learned like you have to turn things around.
Speaker 1:Perspective is super powerful thing. It would be like, well, I wish I could have all these extra years, but I need to focus and really be happy and appreciative of the first 50.
Speaker 2:Wow, Thank you for sharing all that. And so how would you say you're like? Who are you before your dad's passing and who are you now had?
Speaker 1:similar questions, not similar exactly, but other things that had me generate thought around this same topic and I think I was always happy and go, you know happy, go lucky and you know very, very positive and things like that. But him losing at 50 reaffirms my life is too short. I am going to do things that are fun. The kids are going to, you know, we're going to do fun activities. We're going to, you know, not worry about strict rules, we're obviously going to make sure they're squared away. Safety and things like that.
Speaker 1:I shared on a couple other episodes, like if we need to get ice cream on a random Tuesday because that needs to happen, like that's going to happen. You know, could we go home and oh, it's a happen? You know, could we go home and oh, it's a bedtime, we need to go brush our teeth and do this? Like life's just too short. So I would say it doesn't alter you. That's what I think. It doesn't change you. It just seems to cement and really lock in the things that were already there. So I was already like pretty happy, pretty upbeat, but losing him at 50 and seeing the things like we should have went and done, so one of the things that really bugs me, um, is we wanted to go on a trip, so we were trying to pull him to go on a trip. I wish we would have just picked anywhere on the map and just went, but he was like I'm just going to beat it and then we'll go.
Speaker 1:You know, one year turns two years, two and a half years and you know, just stretched on and then his, you know arms stopped working, bedridden and you know, deteriorated, and so I wish we just would. Uh, you know, picked a spot, went and saw the Coliseum or you know some random leaning tower, I don't know, gone and saw something, and so that moment is really like life's too short, like if someone, the kids or whoever, asked something, if it's not going to hurt anything, like I don't really care. So you know, obviously, keeping them safe and you know, going to put jackets on them when they go outside, when it's too cold, and you know the normal things. But I think it really locks down some of those things that were already there.
Speaker 1:I think that was there, but it could not be more like solidified than it is now. Life's too short, not in the like YOLO, just throw money out the window type thing. Obviously, you got to make sound choices and things like that, but everything's about balance. I think balance is super important life so, but that's that's that's what I think it locks it down. It was there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. That reminds me of, yeah, when I was sitting on the couch that day in those tattered connect with people and she started re-emerging. So I love that. I love what you said about how what was always in us or was always there, but but now it becomes more apparent or something more exaggerated, and so to me, the diagnosis was actually a gift for me. You know, I got to return to some old parts of me that kind of hid away for many years and develop some other parts of me that maybe wanted to come out, that were always there but maybe I didn't know was there. And so, yeah, I love what you said about that. I can get on board.
Speaker 1:Yeah, one thing I find that's just so wild in my last, you know 10 episodes or so, it just keeps coming up where humans will be very okay with being slightly discomfort, comfortable for a long time, and it's jobs, relationships.
Speaker 1:I mean, fill in the blank on what it is like we'll be a little uncomfortable for a long time. So one thing that I'd love to throw out for a challenge like if you're not happy, like real happy, it's scary, it's crazy to step out on a limb and try a new job, leave a relationship, you know, whatever it is Jeez, can you imagine looking back in five or 10 years and you're like happier than you've ever been? Like it's just there's nothing, nothing you know, there's nothing that could be more worth it. Terrifying, I'm sure, but if you're in that thing where you're just slightly uncomfortable for a long time, I think you have to have some reflection points at certain points and sit down and be like am I like doing what I need to be doing? Yeah, it's just really interesting me like how long we'll kind of sit and ride it out.
Speaker 2:Right, it's so true. And I think, like where sometimes people can get into trouble, myself included is when you can't see how it's all going to happen. And how is all this going to happen? And I had to revert back to like baby steps or going back to basics. You know, like you know, again sitting in those sweatpants, and suddenly I signed up for an 1800 mile bike ride and I couldn't get off the couch. How was I going to do this? How was I going to get out and live life again? And I actually, so I.
Speaker 2:So I stopped focusing on what I can't do and I started focusing on what I can do, and I took the word can right, a three-letter word we learned in kindergarten, and I took each letter from the word and I turned it into a mantra Capable, able now. And I began asking myself in each moment what am I capable and able to do now, in this moment, what can I do? And and made each step like more attainable for me, so well, I can get out of these damn sweatpants. And then I actually I didn't start riding my bike right away I started painting. I'm not an artist, but I needed to get off that couch, so I started painting. Well, suddenly, I'm selling my art around the world.
Speaker 2:And then, eventually, I got on my bike, for after I walked to the mailbox, I forgot that I had walked to the mailbox, which was a big deal. And then I got on my bike for five minutes at a time, in the basement, on the trainer, and then, before I knew it, my first ride outside was eight miles long, you know. And then, all of a sudden, about a year later, I finished, you know, a hundred mile century ride and and I was back into fighting shape, you know, and I was ready for this 1800 mile journey. So so it, you know, I think it's, you know, taking small bites. You know, you can have huge goals, big goals, dream big, I'm all about it. You know, the sky's the limit. But in order for me to not get overwhelmed, like, okay, one step at a time, one, one thing at a time that's awesome.
Speaker 1:I wanted to ask a parallel question earlier. You had mentioned it was your identity. I think was what you said. So about working out and things like that. So I'm active duty military, I'm coming up on 16 years and I've seen a lot of people that are now starting to get out and their identity was work and so the transition out is difficult. You know, we go by last names, we have this sense of community, we have all these things and then when we leave, it's kind of difficult. So do you have any advice on, like, how you rebranded yourself or if someone you know really did have that identity and something else, how to transition it?
Speaker 2:gosh, that's a great question. Um, it's definitely not an overnight job, and mine wasn't just the physical. I am facing some cognitive changes as well, and I I went from running my own extremely successful wedding planning business, and so I was and run operations for another person's business, and so I I was known to be very detailed, sharp, organized. I'm starting to lose some of that, some of my short-term memory, things like that, and so it was kind of this whole thing of like wait a minute, I'm no longer that super athlete and sharp, detailed person and I'm forgetting things and I'm messing things up and I'm foggy and a little spacey and feeling scattered, and so I think I had to honestly grieve that part of me, you know, and at first I would have been the first one to say, well, that's just ridiculous, that's just silly, you know, because I found myself spending a lot of time making excuses for why I forgot something I even feel myself getting a little emotional around it or why I could no longer back squat over 200 pounds or what like I kept and that was exhausting Trying to explain away why I'm not this person anymore as opposed to just being who I was in that moment, in that moment. So a lot of grief, work around the letting go of who I was because the next step was embracing who I was becoming. She's way better. She's flipping awesome. She loves people so much. She has such a huge heart.
Speaker 2:No-transcript.
Speaker 1:But you had to go through that right in process. So I think that's kind of similar to getting out of the relationship or the work. I mean, they're different but you had to go through process, go through maybe the five stages or I don't know how many stages, but process, you know the grief and move through it. But I think that goes't know how many stages, but process you know the grief and move through it. But I think that goes back to like I was saying, like now that you're on the other side, it's better than you could have imagined. So I think sometimes we get hung up on I can't, I won't, it's too hard, it's too. But once you get to the other side, obviously you know hindsight, I guess, but now you're just, you know happier and you know hindsight, I guess, but now you're just, you know happier and you know better all around person.
Speaker 2:But you had to go through that processing Absolutely. And I still have those days where I'm like, how do I get out of bed today? Or I don't want to do this, but I know what it gets me. I know, like you said, like the other side you come out on the other side of it. So even just some days getting to the gym and back, you know I might have had to drag myself there, but then I'm like I did that.
Speaker 2:Flip it off you know, and so once you start learning like wait a minute the rewards of that it's it's really, it's been really helpful for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think one thing in the military specifically, like we love buzzwords and so we love the word resiliency and sometimes I think it's kind of lost on what it, what it means or how you get it. It's like you get it for free and it's cool or whatever. It's like you get it because you did something difficult and you look back and realize that you could do it and sometimes I don't know if that, you know, translates correctly it's like you need to have it. It's like we always say you need it, you need to have it and things like that. But how do you actually get it? You get it by the thing.
Speaker 1:That was difficult, thinking you would never make it through, and then looking back and realize that hill was really big, but I'm still here, I got it knocked out, and so we don't seem to focus on the hard work part of it. It's like have it, yeah, that's great, but it comes at a cost, like you have to go through those difficult times, and so we kind of skip over that. I had a travel question for you. What's a place you've traveled to that changed your perspective on life?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, I have a bunch. I'll name two. I did a trek in Nepal and spent a month there, and I actually didn't want to go to Nepal my husband at the time it was his trip, but I think it ended up being super life-changing for me and so I, um, I just experiencing the culture there and how connected they are to the like, the natural world, and um, and community and family, and it's how do I even articulate it? It's they just have a connectedness I can't, I can't. I'm struggling to put into words right now and I was so blown away I didn't want to leave.
Speaker 2:It was just such an incredible experience for me. And I remember our plane was delayed one day because of weather, and you know, we were flying back from the Himalayas to into Kathmandu and we were delayed one day and I was like, yes, and there were eight other people on the trek trek and they were all like, oh my gosh, I want to get back and I just like get back to what like technology and like like I just couldn't. You know where we were felt way better than anywhere else on the planet. So that was a really incredible experience for me. And, and then I just did a solo bike ride across northern Spain. It was a 500-mile journey. I took just a little over two weeks to ride it and it challenged me in every way you can imagine. I can't even like write this stuff Like it was just everything.
Speaker 2:It seemed around every corner. I was being, you know, getting pummeled by the universe, and so a lot of people were like you know, gosh, so you didn't have a great time or it wasn't a good trip, and I understand what they're saying. But just because it was a challenging or difficult experience and no, it wasn't comfortable in any way, it wasn't easy physically or mentally but man, oh man, I'm so grateful for the experience, good or bad, like you know, like all of it and I think that's a part of the new me is like just being grateful for every experience I have. Like it's not going to always be sunshine and unicorns and rainbows, like sometimes. Sometimes it's going to be like gale force winds and losing your phone somewhere on a mountain and not able to speak the same language as everyone. You know so, and and I'm I'm so grateful I got to do that.
Speaker 1:It's so funny in the military, you know, if you listen to people that are sitting around shooting stories around, they're always usually of like deployments and something that went terribly wrong or being shot at or things blowing up, and and so it's kind of comical because we want, you know, the stories to be about all these good things, but really the things that drive together and connections and stories that you'll never forget are things that aren't good, and so you know we don't want necessarily bad things to happen to people, of course, but you know there is some level of connection and things that really drive you together on things that are difficult. You got through it, you came home and you're like, wow, that was crazy. But if you hear some of those stories, they're usually not like, oh, it was a beautiful day. And those stories are, you know, some of the worst days and people got through it and was able to process. And another thing I wanted to touch on is America is very centered on themselves, and so I love being able to travel and get out.
Speaker 1:You know, living in Japan and in the UK, and one thing you mentioned was connection and I think you know back to caveman and things like that we were built to be social creatures and so I just love being able to connect and do stuff with other people. I miss, like Anthony Bourdain, food is probably the thing that kind of drives me together. But one thing I love in Europe I got out here and some of the things kind of throw you off a little bit. Like I remember we came to a place I think it was a Thai place for dinner and in Europe they love reservations and so we were trying to get in and I'll always remember he was like uh is three hours okay, and I was like three hours. It's like yeah, yeah, that's perfectly fine, but the core of that is the connection and people are there, like you are eating and there is food there, but the food is to drive people together, have conversation and connect. Like in the United States, a lot of times it's like one hour we're eating, we're getting out and we're moving on. There are some social aspects, but in Japan and in Europe they just feel completely different, like people don't check on you as much. You're there, you're absorbing the connection with others, spending time together, sharing stories, and so I love that.
Speaker 1:You mentioned that connection piece. I think that's super important, like. My favorite thing to make is chips and salsa or salsa. Obviously I don't make the chips myself I wish I was that good but I love making salsa and giving it to people and it's like not necessarily like the gift as much as it is. I hope that drives fun and conversation. It's kind of hard to sit around a bowl of salsa without hanging out and dipping some chips and, you know, enjoying some time together. So I think that really drives people together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. Yeah, and do you have a favorite like culture or place you visited, or what's your favorite dish and you know, in Japan and in the UK?
Speaker 1:I don't know if I have a favorite. I just love learning about culture. So that's probably a cheesy way to get out of that question, but I do. I'm a lifetime learner, I love reading and I love soaking up the culture behind that. It's just the culture, the stories, why they do what they do, the things that go along with like how you do stuff, and the, the temples and shrines, and you know all that history that goes back, especially because united states is just such a baby country where we're just a couple hundred years. And then you know like that stuff out here. I think my house is probably older than the United States. So we went out to Cambridge and Cambridge was opened, I think in like 1206. Is that right? 1208 or something like 1200. The United States was 1776. So this school, just as college, existed for 500 years more than the United States. Just this school. I'm like that's crazy. So yeah, it's just wild. But yeah, I don't know if I have a favorite.
Speaker 1:I just really want to get out and soak up all that I can. I think there's just bits and pieces that you know, bits and bobs, as they would say, out here that are interesting. From all of them you know pros and cons on different sides, but I think there's a lot of goodness out there and just learning itself is super, super cool. And I think it's super cool that people from other countries want to share. Like, if you are open-minded, sit down, you know they will share their food, their whatever, like I don't feel we do that quite as much in like the United States. We're kind of more individualistic and things like that.
Speaker 1:Another country, just so cool. If you start asking questions, try to use their, their language a little bit, even if you look a little silly. Like I know in japan, uh, they were always super happy. Like, even if you just kind of fumble through the words, like just the effort of trying already is like okay, well, you know they're trying. They look a little silly, maybe they say something about you after you leave, but, like trying in other countries, just seem like they will pour out the food, the drink I just keep going back to food but all the culture and whatnot, if you'll absorb it, you know, just stay open-minded and they'll let you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, I love that yes.
Speaker 1:So you have a lot going on. So another question I had for you if you could give a title to the current chapter of your life, what would it be and why?
Speaker 2:that's such a great, great question and I want to know your answer to that too. Um, I'm trying to phrase it, it's um, it'd be like like I feel like I'm on the brink of like on the brink, like on the brink of like what comes after expansion, like right now, I feel like I'm expanding, expanding, expanding, and I'm taking in I know I didn't want to use that word, but like, yeah, like on the brink of, you know, I feel like I'm constantly evolving and learning and growing.
Speaker 2:So just feel like I'm on the brink of something like an energetic I don't know pyrotechnics display.
Speaker 1:That's great For me. I don't know. I would say the sheer family takes on the United Kingdom. I don't know. We just moved. We got here in June, so three years out here trying to get settled Takes a couple months for the household goods to get here. So the house is now back in one piece for the most part I mean messy because of the kids, but in one piece. And now we're going to start venturing out. So the venture begins. Maybe that's what it'll be go to stonehenge, ireland, and get out to spain, do all the things we gotta get out of here when it gets dark. So right about now, because it's getting dark at about three I think. So it's getting dark pretty early. So I did not realize how north it was. I realized how poor my european geography is. So we're like up in canada, I think yeah, yeah, yeah once you spin it around to the other side.
Speaker 1:Uh, because I'm from portland so I'm used to that to a certain extent, but this is still another state up. This is probably higher up into canada if it were spun around yeah so definitely definitely dark.
Speaker 2:Go to go to work in the dark and come home in the dark right, right, well, I definitely love it over there and I I have thought about like, okay, how can I live there? I spent some time in cambridge, actually, and and then I actually met a fella and I can't remember where he's from, but we rode together for a few days on in northern spain when I was riding my bike and he was from the UK and I was like maybe I'll come visit. I'm just trying to find a way to get back there, at least for a good long visit, hopefully soon yeah, it's crazy how small, the small the world is now.
Speaker 1:I for some reason always think back to Oregon Trail. I think it's because that game was popular when I was a kid. But it would take like two weeks to get down the road and now, like in 12 hours, you can be on the other side of the world, literally. Um, so it's just wild to me that you can just get an airplane now and be anywhere, like, uh, next week I'll be in DC and then I come back for a day and then I'll be in Lithuania for a week. It's like that all occurs within you know, two weeks and then get back for christmas and whatnot. Yeah, but uh, the last question I had for you um, I, you know, don't know, and I'll have to just say I don't know. Can you talk us through? Just just salt, is that how you pronounce it? Wow, I just butchered it, didn't I?
Speaker 2:no, well, you're not the first and you won't be the last.
Speaker 1:I can't get your name either, you know, just striking out.
Speaker 2:Yes, both very challenging words. So gestalt is a German word that loosely means wholeness, means wholeness, and it's, it's a holistic, therapeutic approach to you know, coaching or um, it's a very experiential approach to coaching or therapy. And, yeah, how do it's? It's always it's, it's interesting. I've, I've given this definition a million times and I still struggle with it every time because it's, it's hard to explain, it's, it's simply, um, it's very co-active and non-traditional and as a coach or practitioner myself, I, you know, I'm not there to give my clients their answers. It might be plain as day and I might be like I see it right there, but if they don't see it, I can't give that to them. So it's my job to guide them to that answer so that they find it and discover it on their own. It's way more powerful and healing way more powerful.
Speaker 1:Is it possible to share a story of someone that had, like the biggest you know, revolution turnaround, or is that, like private?
Speaker 2:No, I mean, I certainly won't share any names or anything. For example, one of my clients had extreme attachment issues in her relationships and and I don't even like to use the word issues, because they're not problems, they're not something to be fixed, they're just parts of us that are a result of past traumas and experiences that we had but she was really challenged by this. But she was really challenged by this. You know, she could meet someone for the first time and just like, really latch on and what came to find out through our journey working together.
Speaker 2:Her first week as a newborn, her mother gave her away to I'm not sure what it was. There was something in her behavior she was doing as a baby. So she was advised by the doctor to to put her for the mom, to put her in this home for a week to maybe help develop something that she wasn't doing as a baby. And there was a lot of like trauma behind being separated from her mom as a newborn. And so then that pattern repeated over and over throughout her life of like, latching on, like, oh my god, I don't want to lose this person or you don't want to lose that person. And so it was a a big awareness for her and and it's not always an easy process it's not like all of a sudden. I have this awareness and I'm I'm healed and I have it all figured out and I'm going to do things differently now. There's certainly a process to it, but once it's in your awareness, now you know and you can't unknow. But now you can start responding differently when those old patterns start showing up.
Speaker 1:Good, good. Well, thank you for that. Yeah, I love the stories. I feel like we learn a lot from storytelling handing things down, so I want to move into wrapping it up. What's one takeaway you want listeners to remember about removing limits, exploring the world and living authentically.
Speaker 2:Yeah, gosh. Well, if you're, if you're feeling stuck, you know in those you're feeling stuck or you're in a challenging situation and you feel like there's nowhere to go, just remember whatever obstacle or blocks been put in your place. Ask yourself, well, wait a minute, is this self-imposed? Am I putting this block here? If the answer is no, then okay, maybe this block is here because I'm supposed to pivot and go in a different direction. So, instead of seeing things as like limiting you or stopping you, just ask yourself like wait a minute, can I go over around or under this? Maybe I go through it, who knows, but how can you look at it differently? How can you look at it differently? How can you look at it?
Speaker 1:perfect. Yeah, well, thank you. Thank you for coming out. It was a great time. Uh, listeners, I'd love your input. Share your questions or feedback on instagram, facebook, tiktok, youtube or buzzsprout. Engage with us, let me know. I'll take those suggestions. Maybe we'll throw it out on an upcoming episode, but I love you all. See ya, thank you.
