Healing Beyond Trauma: Uma Patil's Journey to Wholeness

Uma Patil, holistic coach and childhood trauma healing expert, shares her journey from abandonment trauma to healing and how childhood experiences shape our adult behaviors and mental health.

• Trauma is subjective and personal—what traumatizes one person may not affect another
• Childhood trauma manifests in adulthood as people-pleasing, imposter syndrome, self-sabotage, or narcissistic traits
• Mental health stigma prevents many from seeking help, though awareness is growing
• Self-awareness through practices like journaling, yoga, and meditation helps recognize thought patterns
• Healing requires addressing mind, body and soul through holistic approaches
• Connection with nature serves as a powerful healing ritual
• Simple lifestyle changes like proper nutrition and reduced caffeine can improve mental wellbeing
• Seeking professional help is crucial—you don't have to heal alone
• Opening up about painful memories feels difficult but leads to clarity and peace
• Your message is hidden in your mess—understanding your trauma reveals your purpose

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Chapters

• 0:50 Meeting Uma Patil
• 8:50 Defining Trauma Beyond Major Events
• 15:43 Emotional Health and Breaking Stigmas
• 24:34 Childhood Trauma's Impact on Adulthood
• 35:00 Recognizing Patterns and Seeking Help
• 40:14 Holistic Healing: Mind, Body, and Soul
• 45:22 Final Thoughts on Healing and Resilience

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:23

Hi everyone. I'm Nate Shear, host of Mindforce, where we take on love, life and learning from every angle, because what's going on in your mind truly matters. Here Today we have Uma Patil, and today we'll be talking about emotional and mental health, the impact of childhood trauma on adulthood and holistic approach to healing. So we're going to start with the four W's the who, what, why, where. So, uma, who are you?

Speaker 2: 0:49

Hi Nate, thank you for having me here and it's wonderful to be here on your podcast, mindforce, can you hear me? Yes, yeah, perfect, yeah, yeah. So, I did well. I am Uma Patil. I'm a holistic coach and childhood trauma healing expert, and I am from India and I'm awesome and yeah you.

Speaker 1: 1:13

Why are you here today?

Speaker 2: 1:15

well, I'm here to actually create an awareness on how childhood trauma can impact adulthood and affect the person's emotional and mental health, and also stop them from living their life to the fullest.

Speaker 1: 1:33

Perfect. Okay, we'll start with a few warm-up questions. What inspired your journey into exploring emotional and mental health?

Speaker 2: 1:42

It was my own journey into, like, more growth and personal development journey, and why did that happen is because I was struggling with mental health issues and I had emotional health issues as well, and I wanted to understand why and where these were arising from. And little did I know that. You know, I had a childhood trauma which was impacting all my life, but, of course, like the, the trigger for this was when I was not able to have children, and so my question was okay, fine then, who am I and what am I here for, like, if, as being born, as a woman, if I can't have children, what's my role on earth? I'm asking deeper questions. Maybe I was not even ready to listen to the answers and I didn't know. I didn't even know, like nobody had taught me that I had to ask these questions, but they were just arising in my mind and that's how I moved into this path.

Speaker 1: 2:41

Yeah, that makes sense. I know I'm active duty, military, no-transcript and so, yeah, that's something that it seems relatable to me, where it's like it's what defines you and what you know you define yourself as. But really you should be moving through some of those other things like husband, wife. You know other terms and definitions of you, but it seems like when your job is such a large part of you, it makes it pretty difficult. One question I wanted to ask you right off the bat is laying down the foundation. I think trauma has been kind of thrown around a lot and I think a lot of times people want it to or maybe need it to be like some large crazy event. But can you actually define like what trauma is core?

Speaker 2: 3:45

Well, that's a great question, Nate, because trauma I don't think I can really define trauma, because something that is traumatic for me might be very normal for another human being or an individual, and what might not seem traumatic to me might be traumatic to another person. So even when I share my story, like if I have to say that I've had an abandonment, trauma is not that I didn't have parents. I had parents, but I was sent away to my uncle's home at the age of four because my parents lived in village and their only intention was to give me education. But as a child I never understood that what's their intention and I thought like I must have done something wrong and they were punishing me and they were sending me away because my mom, every time she sent me away after my holidays, she told me to be a good girl. So in my mind, as a four-year-old child, I thought that maybe I've done something wrong and I have to be a good girl.

Speaker 1: 4:49

Yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 1: 4:49

I think that's perfect, though. I'm glad you answered that way, because what I was trying to get at is, I feel like people want it to be a car accident or like one large event, and I think a lot of times it's not one large event, it's, you know, being told you're dumb or stupid for like a long period of time and you lose your confidence, and things like that. And so I love that you were able to walk through that and kind of talk through trauma Cause I think that's what it seems like it's being defined as now is, at least to me. It's like, you know, people say, oh, I don't have any trauma, I don't need to get counseling, I don't have any trauma, I don't need to get counseling, I don't need to talk to anybody. Nothing like large happened in my past. But then when you talk to them like, oh, my parents, you know, talk down to me and they weren't nice to me and you know all these different things you're like, wait, you do, you do need to talk through and process and work through that.

Speaker 2: 5:36

But people want it to be a large event, and I don't think traumatic events throughout your childhood, and I guess 80 to 90% at least of people of our generation have experienced childhood trauma because, unfortunately, our parents were never really trained how to parent and they only learned parenting from their own parents, who didn't know how to parent and they just did what their parents did, and so it's just being passed down. Also, like most of the time, parents just want the best for their children. What exactly is best, nobody can define, because they're thinking about the best from their perspective, not knowing what is the potential or the talent the child has and what the child really wants. And, like you know, this can go even deeper, to the soul level, like the child may probably not even be born to do what you want them to do. My parents wanted me to be a doctor, and I'm actually a dentist by profession, and at the age of 42, I quit dentistry completely.

Speaker 1: 6:45

It wasn't the thing that you know got you up in the morning and drove that passion. That's interesting.

Speaker 1: 6:50

I always find it funny you have, you know, new parents and whatnot, and you know friends will come to me because I have three kids and whatnot. And then it's like what's the best advice? What do you do? I don't know. Like, try your best, keep them alive. You know, whatever you feel is best. I mean there's a bunch of books written but there's really no true handbook. I mean, luckily now we have the internet and get resources a lot quicker, and so I would guess you know it's a lot more information out there than there used to be. So that makes sense as we move from trauma into healing. I wanted to ask if you could only use one word, a single word, to describe healing. What would that word be and why?

Speaker 2: 7:31

Holistic, holistic. There's no one perfect method that's going to create healing for any person.

Speaker 1: 7:43

Yeah, that makes sense. You got to do the whole thing, don't you? And last question, here in the warm-up can you share a personal ritual or habit that brings you peace or clarity each day?

Speaker 2: 7:52

A personal ritual. I have multiple, but the one that's the most favorite for me is spending time in nature. Like when I don't spend time in nature, at least, maybe, sometimes it might be at least once a week walk in the nature. It kind of makes me feel disconnected, disconnected from the higher souls, disconnected from myself.

Speaker 1: 8:21

Hey, that's a good one. Okay, before we move into the three main pillars you selected, do you have a question for me?

Speaker 2: 8:30

yes, of course I would want to know, like how and why this mind force birth, and if you could share a little bit of your story. It'll just make me feel more deeply connected absolutely so.

Speaker 1: 8:44

I always wanted to write a book. I don't feel like I have quite the right grammar and you know, I don't know if I have the skills to write a book. And I was at home, passing through, as I picked up my car from my mom's house in Washington before we moved to Florida, before we moved out here to the UK. We're always on the move. But I was looking through all these report cards my mom keeps way too much. She's definitely a hoarder Sorry, mom, but she has all these report cards and all of them say kind of the same thing Nate is a joy to have in class, but talks way too much. I was like, huh, maybe I should put that to good use. And so I lost my grandma to mental health.

Speaker 1: 9:19

As a kid I thought that she was the light of my world. She would always help people, take care of people. You know. You know, put a spare tire on someone's car on the side of the road. She was the light in the entire world, and so her light is gone, and so I wanted to do something to be able to carry on her light.

Speaker 1: 9:36

So I wanted just to start ways to help each other, and I think the best way we help each other through, you know, mental health and mental fitness, these things is through storytelling. I don't know what the perfect solution for it, but the one solution that I think I've come to the conclusion is connection. It's really connection. You share your story. There's something in that story where someone else is like, oh, I'm going through something, I can get through this, and so I think the darkest part of mental health is feeling isolated in that spiral that starts to happen where it's only me and you isolate, and it gets worse and worse. So we're going to have, you know, fun conversations, difficult conversations, a whole lot of conversations on the show. Hopefully, bits and pieces along the way will help people. So I'm just going to carry along the light of my grandma and, you know, keep getting that out, because she's no longer with us. But, but I'm here, so that's really beautiful.

Speaker 2: 10:24

Thank you, and keep getting that out because she's no longer with us, but I'm here, so beautiful.

Speaker 1: 10:27

That's really beautiful, thank you. That's why I started the show. So we'll move into the first pillar of yours, which is emotional and mental health. Why do you?

Speaker 2: 10:40

think emotional and mental health is often overlooked or has a negative stigma. Well, because most often, people were stigmatized because they always thought that mental health was equated to being mad. Right, people had anxiety and they had phobias or they were depressed, and so they definitely would not fit in the normal range. And when people don't fit in the normal range, we fail to understand them, we fail to understand why they are going through what they're going through and we want to label people as mad. I mean, at least in India, like I know that most of the people who've had mental health issues, I'm sure, like so many of them, would have struggled from this for years together and for many centuries, centuries. But people were not aware of mental health and so they were labeled as mad. And definitely because they were labeled as mad, nobody would want to associate, nobody wants to talk about it, and it just remained a stigma for so long yeah, this is my personal understanding that was just my

Speaker 1: 11:42

personal understanding and that was one of the reasons I named the show Mental Fitness, because I like the take on mental fitness where it's ongoing. It's something you do all the time. You go to the gym three or four times a week you do cardio, so that fitness word put in there, I think, is a lot better, because I know in the military specifically, we struggle a lot too with mental health. It's the building, it's this place you're not supposed to go, it's the place where they, you know, put stuff in your record and so mental health as a word or words, I guess, is just something that's seen as negative to begin with and really it should be that ongoing thing. And one thing I think we struggle with a lot as people is waiting for it to be the worst day of our lives, which I wish you know throughout the podcast and things like that. I hope we can get to a better place where, the same way you go to the gym and run on the treadmill for three or four times a week, we can go and talk to someone and process how you're feeling and things like that, you don't go on the day where it's the worst day and you're already in a dark pit. That's not the point. You should be going ongoing and so I hope that you know, as we continue to go on, I lost my grandma, like I mentioned and I think you know.

Speaker 1: 12:49

Back then the stigma was so bad she couldn't talk about it, she couldn't open up. All the grandkids didn't even know. Until you know, I found out some details of the funeral and that's not how you should find out when you're in the seventh grade. So it's just. It's just. It's just very unfortunate that it does have that stigma and whatnot. But I think you know having these conversations and talking through these things and hopefully you know podcasts and other things are getting us there. But I was curious on your thought how do you think we shift to a more positive narrative? Yeah, how do you think we shift the mentality or the stigma to a more positive or shift at the other direction from this negative stigma?

Speaker 2: 13:23

Yeah, yeah, thank you. That's a really great question again, because I think the only way we can shift it towards the positive side is talk more about it, create more awareness and spread about the fact that just like physical body, but then we have our emotions, we have our mind and, of course, we have our soul, and so definitely all the three are going to get impacted when the body is not looked after well. So if we can look after our physical body by eating good food and exercising and taking other measures, why wouldn't we not want to look after our mental and emotional health? And so it's only important to create more awareness, talk openly about it and, yeah, I guess that that is the only way.

Speaker 1: 14:20

Yeah, it's so interesting to me how we're at this point. I wonder how we got here. But we know we're supposed to sleep eight hours and eat our vegetables and go for a run every once in a while. We know all these things and then it gets to the brain and say, oh, can't talk about that. That's you know, that's taboo, let's not talk about it. It's like you know your brain is, is in your body, right, Like it's a part of you. Just really bizarre. Skip one aspect. We know. Take care of your. We know. Take care of your heart, take care of your feet, take you know all these other things that it gets to, you know a large portion of our body and skip it. But it's interesting. Next question I had for you I love stories. I think storytelling is how we really pass information along. So can you share a story where addressing emotional health made a transformative impact? Wow words.

Speaker 2: 15:12

Yeah, so actually I was going through panic attacks, but the main emotion I was struggling with when I had panic attacks was the fear of abandonment from my husband. We had moved to the UK and I quit my job. I was at home by myself most of the time when my husband went out for work, and not having kids did not really give me great opportunities to go out and connect with people, because I didn't go to school drop for kids, and so I had no opportunity to meet other women and create friendships. And so I started like really feeling like less important about myself, or like I was, like you know, good for nothing, just cooking and cleaning at home, and I've always been a professional woman, and so, like my identity got disrupted and I was like was like oh my god, I think like my husband will not really accept this personality of mine and maybe he might find some other professional, intelligent women, uh, more attractive.

Speaker 2: 16:19

And I had this fear of losing him and that was, like you know, my abandonment trauma was getting re-triggered and I started going into panic attacks. And that's when I reached out to the NHS in the UK and they referred me to a CBD therapist, and when I worked with them. They helped me understand how my thoughts were creating those emotions and how, like you know how, I can take control of my thoughts and change my thoughts and how I can change my emotion accordingly. And of course, I was given other forms of treatment as well for panic attacks. But definitely changing the way I think and having control over my emotions helped me to heal my emotional trauma or my emotional health improvement emotional health rather.

Speaker 1: 17:10

That's awesome. So I love the practical like tips and tricks, so can you maybe walk through some of those ways you help reframe or get control of that mind again?

Speaker 2: 17:20

Yeah, so, like most often, the way we feel is because of the thoughts we think, and we have about 70,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day and most of us are not even aware of the repetitive narrative that's going on in our mind. But the moment we start to use practices like whether it's journaling or meditation, when you start becoming more aware of your thoughts and you start like really observing yourself, sitting outside of you as a person and looking at what's going on in the mind, that's when you become aware of your thoughts and you can then tell that which thought is actually ruling the day and how your emotions are being created by that. And the moment you shift that thought to a positive narrative, obviously you're going to shift your emotions and feelings.

Speaker 1: 18:18

Yeah, that makes sense. I think journaling and meditation has been on the show probably more than anything else. But I'm curious from your standpoint, like if someone's out there right now and they're like I don't want to sit on the ground with my legs crossed or I don't know how to, you know, start writing or whatever, how does someone? Go from not doing something like meditation and journaling to doing it. What's the? What's that first step look like? How does someone do either one of those from not doing it?

Speaker 2: 18:46

Well, let me be very honest with you, either one of those from not doing it. Well, let me be very honest with you For me, it was not the meditation and the journaling that came first, but it was the energy healing, the Reiki energy healing, which I finally went on to become a grandmaster in. So the moment I started with healing, I started just observing that my self-awareness started tidying over and improving right, and I started just becoming aware of my thoughts. I was like where, like how come I'm being so present to this? And only when I looked back I realized that it's because of the healing. So if someone can't get into meditation or journaling on the go, they can, can always seek a healer, an energy healer, and they could use that healing modality to become more self-aware.

Speaker 2: 19:37

Of course, I also used to practice yoga. I started my journey as a yoga teacher and then moved into other practices. But when you are slowing down your body and you're breathing for the yoga practices, automatically you're slowing your mind and that also could be used as a movement meditation. I always call yoga as a movement meditation. So if they can't sit down and do like properly, sit down on the ground, cross their legs and do meditation, go practice yoga, and you don't have to have any particularly thought way to do journaling. Just scribble your mind down, like right now I'm angry on someone because someone said something to me. Just write that, like you know, I just can't bear this, I hate this person, and then I'm so angry that they said this to me. Right, and you will see that immediately the anger levels are going down because you've already rented it out.

Speaker 1: 20:35

Okay, so blank notebook and just get the words and thoughts out. Okay, I always wonder, like, if you should have a specific prompt, like how are you feeling today or whatnot, but maybe just the blank notebook and getting that stuff out.

Speaker 2: 20:50

Yeah, a lot of times when prompts are given, what happens is we are like kind of forcing our way to thought is first to do to do a thought dump or a dumping of your brain where you're clearing off all those thoughts that you don't need and then only then, like maybe you can channelize what you actually need that makes sense, okay.

Speaker 1: 21:23

so last question in this section what practical steps do you recommend for someone starting to prioritize their mental health, so they're not really paying attention, not taking care of their mental well-being? How do you again start that journey?

Speaker 2: 21:38

Awesome.

Speaker 2: 21:38

That's really a good question, because I think a lot of times we are just so perplexed with so many modalities and so many tools to use.

Speaker 2: 21:48

So the first thing I would say is, by beginning to paying more attention to your physical health as well is, like you know, just simply exercising, eating good food, stopping junk food and not depending on any addictives.

Speaker 2: 22:11

A simple habit of having four to five cups of coffee or tea can also be an addiction, and not necessarily any larger substances that we are talking here as addiction. Right, that requires a completely different form of treatment, but at at least for basic improvement of mental health, I would say start looking after your body and maybe you can commit to waking up half an hour earlier and making sure that you are doing any form of exercise, getting out in nature, getting some sunshine and, if you cannot, in countries where the sunshine window is very less making sure that you're taking a proper, regulated dose of vitamin D and also having healthy food. That is, choosing the right fruits and vegetables when I say the right is the proper quantity and in what form you need to take them, what time of the day you need to consume, and cutting down on like sugar and these are like simple basic things that people can start with yeah, that's good stuff.

Speaker 1: 23:26

I think a lot of times kind of going back to the traumatic incident, like people want large things for some reason. I think some of the smaller things are the most important, like small shifts, like you had just said, 30 minutes putting your shoes out so you can get out and walk in the morning, or whatever steps to get after some of those smaller things, and then you can rack up, you know, some smaller wins and they'll kind of transform it as some larger wins. But I think sometimes, like if I don't have this huge, massive shift, I'm just not going to do anything. Like that's not the best way to do it. You know, make some smaller ones along the way. The next pillar we have for you is the impact of childhood trauma on your adulthood. So first question how does a childhood trauma manifest in adulthood and why is it important to recognize these patterns?

Speaker 2: 24:16

Well, most often like people who have low self-esteem, people who are people pleasers, the ones that cannot say no, and people who procrastinate a lot despite knowing that they have a lot of potential, and people with low self-confidence. These are all traits that they have had childhood trauma. Or, like you know, we have two ends, right. One is this end where the confidence is very low and then people are having self-sabotage, imposter syndrome Imposter is like.

Speaker 2: 24:52

Despite having all the qualifications, the skills, the talents, they're always doubting themselves, they're always wondering like can I really do this? Am I fit for this? Or, like you know, sabotaging their own accomplishments. But the other end is where they feel highly confidential and it goes to the narcissistic trait, right. So, on either side, their potential is not being optimized and utilized for the better of themselves and those around them or for the universe, and in that case it's like the person I wouldn't even want to use the word productive. The person is not really using their potential for the best opportunity that they have got as a human. Like you know, they are kind of. If they are in the narcissist, they are a narcissist, they are being abused by other people and their potential is lost and that's the reason why it's so important to recognize these traits and to heal through them, so that you can find your true potential and your purpose and you can actually thrive in your life.

Speaker 1: 26:04

Yeah, that's good stuff. I know I struggle with imposter syndrome. Sometimes I'm like I don't know if I'm smart enough or things like that. But one thing that was given to me I thought was really good advice and I try to go back to it when I start to creep into that is I was selected for a specific program at work and I got to like switch over and, you know, go from like the enlisted side to the officer side and become a leader within the organization and I was like, am I capable? Am I whatever?

Speaker 1: 26:30

But it was interesting because somebody told me you know, you went through the process and there was leaders that know you and, you know, selected and pushed you for this thing, and so if you're doubting yourself, it's almost they put it as like basically disrespectful to the people that have believed in you and selected you for this thing.

Speaker 1: 26:47

You're telling these people that have been around for a long time, know the ins and outs that said you're good, you can go and do this.

Speaker 1: 26:54

You're telling them I don't know if you really know what you're talking about, and so I've kind of looked at it that way and flipped it the other way. I'm like these people that I really valued and were important to me, to go back and like, basically spit in their face and say, like you didn't know what you're talking about, you're silly. Like no, that's awful. Like you believed, if you knew and you know, you know enough and have the experience of done this for 16 to 20 years or however long they've done these things and picked you, you can do it. You have been imparted with all the skills and traits that you need. Or this person that you know has been around long enough would not have picked you for this particular thing. So I try to flip it back the other way and just think of all those people that have believed in you all through your life and things. If all these people believed in you, there must be a common denominator, right?

Speaker 2: 27:37

Absolutely, and I really love the way you have put that across, because that's a nice way for any of them who are listening and struggle with imposter syndrome to learn how they can flip the story and understand the impact they've already created so far and then work through it. That's really beautiful.

Speaker 1: 27:57

Yeah, you got all those people that believe and wrote letters and things like that. They know what they're talking about. You can definitely do it. The next question is can you share an example of someone breaking free from the cycle of trauma? How do you break free?

Speaker 2: 28:13

How do you break free is? I usually use the word doing the inner work, but when I say doing the inner work is really sitting down with yourself and understanding your patterns and recognizing your potential and also working through your shadows. Most often your patterns are born out of the shadows that you have right, like the shadow could be like. For instance, for me it was the abandonment trauma was causing the shadow of wanting to be like I always had this attachment problem, like I was an anxiously attached person and anytime, any instance would create a separation for me from any of my loved one, that trauma would get triggered. And so it's like observing these patterns, just getting down to really really understand yourself, understand your thoughts. But if you cannot do it alone, of course there are so many other, I can say, service providers who could help them. They could be therapists. They could be therapists, they could be like coaches like me who are childhood trauma healing experts, or they could also be counselors and they can seek out external help and work through their trauma.

Speaker 1: 29:34

So I feel like a lot of times in life you're going through you don't know what you don't know, and so you're just trying your best. And so, as you're going through things, how do you, how did you stop and identify that, these things that you're just living, it seems normal. You're not really sure. When does it go from like identification to like? I need to figure this out.

Speaker 2: 29:53

Wow, yeah, I didn't look at it that way, right? So this actually happened. When I quit my main job and I started teaching yoga in the UK and I just trained for 200 hours as a yoga teacher trainer and when I started stepping on to start teaching yoga, that's when all these patterns started showing up, right. First one to kick in was imposter syndrome. Like who do you think you are? After 200 hours of of certification, you're standing here and wanting to teach people yoga. Or like I had big plans.

Speaker 2: 30:29

I wanted to go big as a yoga teacher, but it was my procrastination that was always stopping me. I would not be able to really put through a proper flow for the class or things like that, and and then I would beat myself up. But I realized that when I went and stood in the class and I guided them, the flow was absolutely phenomenal. People loved my flows and they used to enjoy the class. But I was like literally beating myself up to like go by the books, or this is how you have to create this, you have to do this and to do this. And so there were, like so many things there was self-doubt, there was procrastination, there was imposter syndrome, there was self-sabotage, because I know that I've helped people who were having sticks. I used to teach a class or chair yoga for adults and I had two of my students who, after attending my classes for continuously for three or four months, get rid of this. Students who, after attending my classes continuously for three or four months, got rid of the stick and were able to walk without the aid of the stick. But I was not looking at those things for my confirmation that I was a good teacher, but I wanted to see a big number of people in the classes, despite knowing that I did not belong to the UK, didn't have many friends or family who could refer people to me, and despite that I was. I did not belong to the UK, didn't have many friends or family who could refer people to me, and despite that, I made all the efforts, went to networking and started teaching right.

Speaker 2: 31:50

So when I was doing this, I was always searching, like there was always this need for there's something that I wanted, which I really didn't know what I wanted, and so I would force it on, like my relationship is not going well or I'm not really excelling at my work or this is wrong. That is going bad. And then when I started doing my energy healing like I said earlier as well, it kind of just improved my self-awareness and I started realizing, oh, these are all my thoughts, this is not actually what's happening and in actuality there is so much that is different from the way I am thinking, so there's something wrong in the way I'm thinking and it was more of a reverse engineering. And from there on, like because the universe wanted me to heal my inner child and my childhood trauma so badly that it gifted me a hypnotherapy program where I met my mentor. He was doing the challenge and I met him on that and I won a raffle on the challenge and I got his program for free raffle on the challenge and I got his program for free.

Speaker 2: 33:06

When I did the hypnotherapy program and when I was going through his group sessions and through the hypnotherapy process did I actually realize that I'd had childhood trauma. Until then I always told people that my child was really happy and wonderful, but I had blanked out such a major part of my childhood I just couldn't remember. And if it's something that way for others like they can't remember a part of their childhood and they can't remember what happened, and like you know how it happened, then probably they are actually masking it so much because they don't want to feel that pain again.

Speaker 1: 33:40

I wonder if that goes into like earlier I was mentioning, like, oh, I'm not going to go to counseling or anything because my childhood was pretty A-OK. I wonder if that's some of that where they're just not quite remembering the way I had a question earlier you had mentioned. You kind of get in. You know two ends of the spectrum you get taken advantage of or you take advantage of others. What are ways that you've seen people can identify hey, maybe I'm doing this or doing that, or things they can identify in their life to see if they're on one side or the other? Maybe need to tweak some things.

Speaker 2: 34:11

I guess, for us to understand our external circumstances are the teachers right, Our external circumstances when I say is the quality of our relationships. How happy or fulfilled are you at your job or your profession? Does that really fill your heart? Do you feel good? How do you feel about your whole life? And those are the things that can actually help us to, that can actually help us to recenter ground and understand, like is this relationship serving me? Is this work serving me? Are these people serving me or am I serving these people? Am I doing something for these people with a good in my heart or is it because I have a end goal in my mind? Am I expecting something else out of them and hence showing up, or is it that I really want to do something good?

Speaker 1: 35:10

it's like a lot of times I have met.

Speaker 2: 35:12

I'm sorry. I'm sorry you were saying something.

Speaker 1: 35:14

Go ahead no, you're good yes, so I just I.

Speaker 2: 35:17

I have met so many narcissists who are actually posing like they are doing so much good for the community, right, but they are trying to do it because they are trying to fill a void within them which makes them, tells them that you're not good enough. It's there's this inner voice that's continuously going on telling them you're not good enough, you're not good enough. And to make them feel good enough, they are going out in the world and trying to do something big, but you can see that, even despite that, they are taking advantage of people, even in those cases.

Speaker 1: 35:49

You got to do things for the right reason. The last question in this section what advice would you give to individuals struggling to address the lingering effects of their childhood experiences?

Speaker 2: 36:02

I think your voice is. Can you just repeat that again, Nate Sorry.

Speaker 1: 36:05

Yeah, of course. What advice would you give to individuals struggling to address the lingering effects of their childhood trauma?

Speaker 2: 36:13

Like the first advice is you don't have to do this all alone, you don't have to struggle by yourself. The best thing is to go out there and take help, seek help. It can be from your therapist, it can be from your counselor, it can be from a coach, it can be even like programs or things like that, where you're going to get an entry point into just understanding yourself more, better and like to reconnect with that hidden inner or that child. You know, the hidden child that is trying to like kind of call out and grab your attention. It's just that child creating the tantrum right or all these ways. It's showing up as, like said, doubt or sabotage or imposter. I I think they're all our inner children were like. You know, can you just listen to me? I really need to get out of here and I want to be happy and joyous and free.

Speaker 1: 37:15

Yeah, that makes sense. Earlier I had asked and we kind of talked about the people that believe childhood was all all perfect, all hunky dory, Things were great. But I'd like to flip it the other way. What advice do you have to people that know they did have a difficult or, you know, pretty bad or traumatic childhood? Getting into counseling means you're reopening. You're talking about things you may never want to talk about ever again. What advice do you have someone that needs to go through something difficult to get better?

Speaker 2: 37:47

Yeah, I actually wanted to talk about it even when I was speaking about hypnotherapy.

Speaker 2: 37:52

Right, definitely you're going to open the can of worms, but once these worms are cleared, can you see how clean and clear your entire not just the mind, but the body and soul is going to be?

Speaker 2: 38:12

It's like you're going to feel so good at the end of this.

Speaker 2: 38:17

Yes, at that time it might seem very difficult, but of course, you're going to be held, you're going to be guided and you have someone whom you can lean on.

Speaker 2: 38:27

That is your service provider, and I'm sure you will use your intuitive guidance to choose someone who is empathetic and compassionate and and I trust most of these people who are in this position definitely are so and so you, you have their support and you can lean in on that support and allow those can of worms to come out and then clean it so that you know you can actually experience joy and you can experience peace. Yes, uh, none of these feelings or emotions again are a constant, anytime, right, even when it is peace, or because life is always happening, right. It's not like you're not in a status quo, that once you have healed from your childhood trauma, everything is going to completely become sunshine. No, the shadows are going to cast again, but then at least you have the ability to move past these shadows and come back to that ground where you can create that peace and that joy in your life.

Speaker 1: 39:37

Yeah, you have to have the rain to have the sun and the sun to have the rain. You got to have the ups to have the downs. The last pillar we have for you is holistic approach to healing. So how does a holistic approach to healing look like in your work?

Speaker 2: 39:51

Well, the holistic approach to healing in my work looks like, you know, using all the three pillars, that is, for the mind, the body and the soul. And so for the mind and the body, I use the energy healing and, of course, the meditations, and I always recommend my clients to practice yoga. And for the soul, again, your energy healing is going to give you a deeper connection to your soul and also the quantum healing that I practice is also going to help them to connect with their higher self and to draw the intuitive guidance through their higher self for that path forward.

Speaker 1: 40:38

Perfect. Can you share an example of how combining traditional and holistic methods have helped someone heal?

Speaker 2: 40:45

Yeah, that's again a great question because most often what we think is that all these just impact our physical body and the mind right, and in this case the mind is more deeply impacted. But we forget that we are not just the body and the mind, but we are also the soul and I have been impacting on the soul for so many times. I have made a mention of that. Somebody might say that what is a soul, who is a soul? But I guess over the years people are able to make that connection to the soul and if we are going to leave the soul behind and just heal the mind and the body, then somewhere there's this sense of disconnection.

Speaker 2: 41:31

As I mentioned earlier, and for times immemorial now, people have been talking about past lives and people are also talking about how we can see into the future life. You know, with energy healing you can make a connection to your past life. Also, people have made connection to their afterlife. They have had near-death experiences. People have spoken about near-death experiences and there are so many people who have written books and have had visions and have connected with angels. I mean, I can feel them all the time around me, and so it's like when you connect to yourself as a mind, body and soul. And when we use these holistic approaches, what happens is we're not only clearing what is there in this present life, but also what has happened in your past lives. That also gets cleared off. And then it's like you know, it's almost like a really clear picture that you are getting to once all this is cleared off, does that make sense? Cleared off, does that make sense? I mean, I don't know if I really answered your question in the right way or what you actually wanted to know.

Speaker 1: 42:47

No, I think that was perfect. Yeah, that was good. That rounds out our holistic approach to healing. Now I'd like to go through and try to wrap some things together. So you know, 45 minutes of goodness, let's try to wrap some things together. So what's the biggest lesson you've learned about healing and emotional resilience?

Speaker 2: 43:04

the biggest lesson I have learned about healing and emotional resilience is like, oh my god, this is like I've done a bit so many lessons right, like I'm wondering what, what?

Speaker 1: 43:15

how do you choose?

Speaker 2: 43:16

one. Yeah, how do I choose one is that you have the power within you and you're actually there's a hidden gem inside you and it's it's like actually waiting to be unleashed and to bring out that power so that that can be shared with the world. And so the more emotionally resilient you become, you get that strength to reconnect with that power and then you can share it.

Speaker 1: 43:46

Oh, I love that.

Speaker 1: 43:47

One of the things I do in my leadership position is I try to open up to people and bring out some of the vulnerability and things like that.

Speaker 1: 43:55

I've been through a divorce and death of a parent and I've lost multiple grandparents and things like that, and I bring those things up and I'm like I don't want to be this like negative Nancy, and I'm not trying to bring down the mood of this meeting or whatnot but I want to make sure when you go through something in your life, as I'm the leader of you and the team, I want you to know you can walk through the door and talk to me, and so I hope when I bring up these so that I can help and connect with others. That's the reason, like I can't believe that I go through difficult things for no reason. It just doesn't make sense. There's got to be a reason. I hope that it helps other people here on the show or in real life. And the last question I got for you, uma, is if you could leave one message about the importance of addressing trauma and mental health, what would it be?

Speaker 2: 44:45

Your message is actually in your mess, and so it's important to understand your mess to get that message.

Speaker 1: 44:52

Okay, a little wordplay. I like that, uma. Thank you for coming out. Everyone out there, your feedback makes this podcast even better. Drop your thoughts or questions on any one of the many social media pages we have and thank you for being a part of the Mindforce journey. I love you all. See ya, thank you.