God Found Me in a Mexican NICU: A Micro Preemie Story w/ Brian Heilig

Brian Heilig shares his powerful journey from the birth of his micro preemie son in Mexico to finding faith, purpose, and a mission to help others. His story reveals how crisis moments can transform our lives and lead us to deeper connections with God and community.

• Brian's son Grayson was born at exactly 26 weeks weighing only 1.6 pounds after his wife developed severe preeclampsia
• Being in a Mexican hospital with limited equipment and language barriers created enormous challenges for the family
• The NICU experience became Brian's defining faith moment, connecting with God for the first time in the hospital chapel
• Through social media, their story mobilized worldwide support from NICU nurses and strangers that enabled a life flight to Miami
• Grayson was later diagnosed with autism at age 3, adding another dimension to their parenting journey
• Brian's family discovered the significant impact of nutrition on health, especially for children with autism
• Intermittent fasting has become a beneficial practice in Brian's life, helping with weight management and mental clarity
• After feeling called by God, Brian wrote "Breathe, Eat, Poop, and Grow," with all proceeds going to provide proper NICU equipment to Mexican hospitals
• The most important lesson from Brian's journey: "Get with God before you need Him"

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Chapters

• 0:48 Introduction to Mindforce Podcast
• 2:55 Brian's Background and Family
• 5:40 Faith Journey and Micro Preemie Experience
• 15:59 Vulnerability and Connection Through Stories
• 26:14 Nutrition, Health, and Autism
• 31:30 The NICU Journey in Mexico
• 39:40 The Book and Finding Purpose
• 45:51 Getting With God Before You Need Him

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:21

Welcome everyone. I'm Nate Shearer, your host, and this is Mindforce, the podcast that's all about diving into love, life and learning. Here, your mind matters. Today we have Brian Heilig, and today we'll be talking about God, his micro preemie story, their kids, and health and nutrition. So, brian, let's start with the four W's. Keep it easy. Who are you, brian Heilig?

Speaker 2: 0:44

Pretty easy. Yeah, pretty easy, right, I gave it easy. Who are you, brian Eilig? Pretty easy right, I gave it away. I actually grew up in Chicago, born and raised in Chicago, met my wife in high school 34 years ago, five years ago, long time ago. We're very fortunate to travel, live all over the world, but also we lived in Mexico, which is part of our story. But right now we're currently in the Orlando area. We have two kids and a dog named Slinky.

Speaker 1: 1:08

Nice, okay, what do you currently do?

Speaker 2: 1:12

So currently my day job, if you will, I'm a sales trainer in the timeshare industry. Nice yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:21

And why are you here today?

Speaker 2: 1:23

So I'm here because I was told to be here, which we'll get into it to share our message, share our story in hopes to transform other human beings' lives.

Speaker 1: 1:35

And you said where in the world. It sounds like Florida, so we got that one covered. I really appreciate you coming on the show and I love the aspect of storytelling. I think that's really the core of humans and human connection. That's how we get through things. I'm active duty military and so I know a lot of times we struggle with suicides and you know being isolated and all these different things and I don't know what the answer is because it's such a complex problem. But I believe if there was one solution which there's probably not one single, but if there was one solution, which there's probably not one single, but if there was closest to one, it's stories and connection. Like when you are at a bad place, you feel like I'm the only one. There's no one else that's been through what I've been through, and hearing a story from someone else like that changes the entire entire thing. So I appreciate you coming on and we'll start with the warmup. What would you say is the defining moment in your faith journey?

Speaker 2: 2:25

And we'll start with the warmup. What would you say is the defining moment in your faith journey? A hundred percent, when we had our micro preemie in Mexico.

Speaker 1: 2:32

no question, not even a little bit. That's a pretty you're good, pretty straightforward one.

Speaker 2: 2:37

Yeah, I mean just to put it in a little bit more perspective. They say that the NICU walls have heard more prayers than most churches.

Speaker 1: 2:47

Yeah, I can. I can definitely imagine You're at that. You know a very low point At that point. A lot of people try a lot of different things. Absolutely On a lighter note, can you share a funny or heartwarming story about your kids? That always brings a smile to your face.

Speaker 2: 3:03

Well, my kids are young right now, right, so it's kind of easy. They there's seven, grayson's seven and Nathan is five are Nate, and I man, I think it's just right now they're going through language like they're hearing things and then they're repeating it and I'm like where did you get that from? And it's just so amazing to see them develop into these little humans that are speaking beyond their age, you know, and that always is always something, or the thing that really gets me and we're in that stage right now is, you know, daddy, come play with me, I just drop everything and go. Yeah, let's go.

Speaker 1: 3:36

Yeah, it is pretty funny though, Vocabulary. Today my son was asking different terms and whatnot. He just turned seven. He was trying to get us to define transition and I and I'm like I know what it means. But there's like certain ones you're like how do you? You go from one thing to another. He's like what do you mean? I'm like you change from one to another. I like transition, I I don't know. There it's tough, we know, but uh, getting it through to him is a little bit different. But yeah, it is hilarious. I was trying to think I had a, a line, but I just can't think of what it is. But there was something he was saying the other day. I'm like it's not a crazy word, but it's just a word that just doesn't match. You know the seven year old. You're like why are you using that? Like right.

Speaker 2: 4:14

Where did you get that from?

Speaker 1: 4:17

Very interesting. And then the last warm up question what's one health or nutrition habit you've recently adopted that has made a difference in your family's life?

Speaker 2: 4:27

I've recently been very into intermittent fasting. This worked extremely well. So how it's helped my family in this situation. Example today I still haven't eaten yet, but I've definitely got the kids breakfast together, the kids lunch together, you know, and I'm more free to focus on them and be with them. I made my wife's breakfast, you know. So all of that I've been meal prepping, so I've been doing a lot today as far as food and cooking, but haven't eaten yet. So it seems to free up time for them.

Speaker 1: 4:58

So what's your schedule? What's your cutoff for your intermittent?

Speaker 2: 5:02

So on a typical day it's seven to one. So what? Eight hours, no six hour window, 18 fasting, I think that's it.

Speaker 1: 5:12

It's 18 hours. I have this app Fasty, so I just you know it tells me what would you say is the hardest part of fasting and the biggest benefit.

Speaker 2: 5:22

The hardest part is getting to the 18 hours. You know, I started with 16 hours and then pushed it and now it's like 18 is fairly easy. I did 23 hours the other day, 22 hours the other day, but I think that would be the most difficult thing. And just just knowing that you're really not starving like you're going to make it, and the benefits oh my gosh. Yeah, definitely weight control. Clear your mind the food addiction that I tended to have before. I'm starving, I have to eat. So I feel like more in control that I don't really have to eat. So it's been really cool. I'm really loving it.

Speaker 1: 6:00

That's awesome. Yeah, I really want to try it. I was talking to a friend yesterday. We were walking the mall and whatnot. He's been doing some fasting you know from scripture and things like that and he's gotten up to 10 days or something like that Quite an extensive period of time. And you know obviously ease into it and he goes into water and goes into liquids and he's got a routine and whatnot. I would love to try it. It would definitely be interesting. I think my biggest problem is is snacking, which I always find is kind of funny, because I think a lot of people are like sweets, you know, cheesecake and this, and I'm like you know, I kind of like cake candy maybe, but like a bag of chips or chips or chips and salsa, like I'm destroying the bag, like that's the problem, like cake, I don't know.

Speaker 1: 6:45

I could skip a pile like I don't really care.

Speaker 2: 6:47

But the salt is what you get. Go for, yeah, some, I don't know I well, when I found out about fasting and you know, with faith and religion, then it was like oh wow, well, that's a whole nother level, because I didn't really do it for that, because I didn't know about it. But once I learned about that, like I imagine, if anything crazy were to happen in my life again, I feel that that would be the first thing I would do is fast for however long I needed to to get that connection.

Speaker 1: 7:16

Yeah, I always think of, like the ultra marathon runners. It's just one of those things where I think back to your point you're not dying. I think that we believe we can't do a lot of things that we can. You know, if someone can go out there and run for 50 miles or 100 miles, like obviously they do training and things like that, but just that in itself, you know that the human body is capable of way more than we believe. So I always kind of reflect back on that. Even though it's different, but parallel, like you'll make it, you just keep moving. Yeah, absolutely on that, even though it's different, but parallel, like you'll make it you just keep moving.

Speaker 2: 7:45

Yep, absolutely, that's interesting.

Speaker 1: 7:47

So that's it for the warmup. I wanted to see if you had any questions for me before we start the interview.

Speaker 2: 7:52

Well, I know you have a couple three kids. The one is seven, right, how old are the others?

Speaker 1: 7:58

So two girls and a boy. It's 11, 10 and seven, so two girls and then the baby boy.

Speaker 2: 8:04

Wow. So, yeah, you're in it, I'm in it, and so what would be your you know either. Well, I guess what would be your biggest lesson If you could boil it down to one thing, just to you know, as a dad, like, what's your thing? I don't know what's your one thing.

Speaker 1: 8:25

I think the biggest thing would probably be taking a breath, and maybe that's like oversimplified and maybe kind of cheesy, but I feel like if you stop and pause, like that changes and kind of fixes a lot of different things, like if you stop and try and figure out what just happened or whatever, and so not like jumping and whatnot. I feel like you know, a lot of us run off emotions and when you hear the one hit the other one and you hear them scream and you want to really jump into it, if you just wait and like what happened and let me hear, and I mean, obviously you're going to say, they're going to say whatever they want, and he said, she said. But I feel like the pause in almost every situation and it's easier said than done, of course like you want to just kind of snap to it, but I and it's easier said than done, of course like you want to just kind of snap to it, but I think that, like breath, just like wait for a second, you can kind of figure out what happened and get to the bottom a little better. Not all the choices or decisions are going to be perfect and you got a course correct, of course, and come back and be like I didn't really mean to do that or that went the wrong way.

Speaker 1: 9:18

But I think, just waiting, you know kind of waiting for a second, obviously, if's safety they're going to run into the road, you're grabbing them and ripping them back, but if it's something that can be handled, I think that's something that's really difficult for us is patience, and that's in a lot of different situations. But, yeah, just just the breath. Like explain to me, like why you did that, because I know I want to get frustrated sometimes because it just from our eyes, with all the experience and all the life that we've lived, it's like that looks really dumb, like I don't understand why you would, but like help me understand. Like, oh, I thought this, and like, okay, so you poured the milk all over the floor. You had a reason. It doesn't make any sense to me, but now I kind of see, like where you're coming from. You were trying to do something. So, yeah, I think, taking the breath, what do you think? Does that make sense?

Speaker 2: 10:04

Oh, I love that. It totally speaks to me. It literally happened today. My Grayson seven-year-old wanted to mimic the five-year-old who was pouring water into these little tiny plastic play cups. And then he brought out a plate and did it with the. He pushed down the water and of course the water went everywhere. And I'm like bro, just get a bowl, like. And then he's like you're mad at me. I'm like no, no, no. So I kind of reacted when I just needed to be like what's going on? Like do you think a bowl might be better, you know? So, yeah, I love that. Pause and wait.

Speaker 1: 10:36

And yeah.

Speaker 1: 10:37

And I think another aspect of that is not take anything too seriously. I thing too seriously. I think like, like I said, like back to safety. If they're going to run to the road, of course you got to take that, but like the messes and whatnot, like does it really? I don't know? Like I've definitely ruined some fabric and stained some tablecloths and our table looks horrendous and you know we got to try to cover it up when people come over, but I don't know, like does it really matter? I don't know. I lost my dad when he was 50. And so he was young and there was still a lot of things I wanted to do, and, and so I kind of reflect back on that. A lot is like life is short, so like if we probably should, but it's like I don't know when we're going to leave or what's going to happen.

Speaker 1: 11:17

So it's like it's not going to wreck anything, I don't really care too much. Love that. So we'll move into your three main pillars, and your first pillar is exploring faith and family. How did your faith impact your perspective and decisions when you first learned about your micro creamy situation?

Speaker 2: 11:48

Yeah, so we, the little backstory there, like I said, we met in high school. It was. We took everything along, you know, we were together in a relationship for a while and engaged for a long time and then finally got married you know, living life super grateful. Uh, we traveled all over the world and did a bunch of things, had a great bunch of great experiences as a couple, you know, as a married couple. And then, uh, we ended up moving to mexico and uh, then it was wait a minute, we're in 30, 31. Like we should probably maybe start to have kids, you know. So we tried and it wasn't like a big deal. We say if we get pregnant, we do, If not, no big deal, you know. But we weren't.

Speaker 2: 12:32

And then that turned into months, into years, and then, you know, it was like wait a minute, now we're getting older, into our 30, like late 30s, Something's going on. And we got checked out. Diana, unfortunately, was producing less eggs and they were how do I say less fertile. I guess that's what they were. And so when then we were like, well, now we really got to do something and we started IVF in the States, which is a whole experience, it's crazy. So we did IVF and unfortunately that did not work. So it was a day of implantation. So she went through the whole three months or whatever, of the shots every day and then the eggs just fertilized so we couldn't put them in hers. That was devastating, to say the least. And then we even went into foster to adopt kind of situation, and we got a little baby, Eva. But then we realized that we weren't going to be able to adopt her. So five months after we got her, at seven or eight days old five months we had to give her back to her parents. So that was just like we're done, we're out, no more, we're not even going to try, we're just not meant to have kids.

Speaker 2: 13:34

And then the company I worked for in Mexico the first time, which is in Puerto Vallarta, they called and said hey, we're getting the band back together, so to speak. Do you want to come to Cancun and do the same thing? And I told Diane I'm like what do you think? Mexico again. And one of our friends is the acupuncturist for an IVF doctor in Cancun with a very high success rate. So Diane was like, look, I'll go, but I'm going to do IVF again. I was like that's on you, babe. But yeah, let's roll. So we did it in Cancun. It was an amazing doctor, amazing facility. The facility was mostly people from all over the world traveling there to do their IVF. It's like a seventh of the cost.

Speaker 2: 14:13

But she became pregnant. We were excited. Everything was going well. She's high risk because now we're 41, 42.

Speaker 2: 14:21

And so she was on bed rest for most of the time and everything was going well until we hit about 25. The way they do it in premium, micro premiums your weeks and then your days to the next week, you know. So she was like 25 day, 25, like five. Okay. So 25 weeks into it, in five days, and her blood pressure shot up. She was vomiting and everything. The doctor said just go to the hospital, I'll meet you there. They could not get her blood pressure under control. So what had happened is she developed severe preeclampsia, which is really not good.

Speaker 2: 14:58

And they said the doctor's like, look, we have to deliver the baby to save Diana's life. And we're like I'm like that's where the whole, my whole world went. What, how do you? He cannot fathom or comprehend delivering the baby without wait a minute to save her life. She was admitted that night and the next. Our world just flipped upside down. So um V was had to wait to get these dots to help the baby's lungs develop, because that's a big, big issue with preemies. We didn't even know what a micropremie was at that point, but just a premature baby to develop their lungs as fast as possible, and so she did that. She held out and then they did an emergency C-section, literally at 26-0. So it was like the 26-week mark, and then they put Grayson in the NICU. He was 12 inches long, 1.6 pounds.

Speaker 2: 15:52

It was absolutely insane, and so I'm calling everybody, the moms, the dads, everybody freaking out. Her mom and my mom both started to make their way to Cancun and then, a day or two later, her body shut down and she had to be admitted into the ICU. It was like my kids in the NICU, my wife's in the ICU. We're in Mexico, and I felt completely helpless. You know, literally like the other problem that we were having is that the language barriers.

Speaker 2: 16:24

You know, literally, like the other problem that we were having is that the language barriers? It was at that level. In Mexico, at the hospitals nobody speaks English. And so we were like, could not you know? Like I did not understand what was happening with my son. We finally boiled it down to thumbs up or thumbs down as far as how he's doing moment by moment, and yeah, it was just nuts.

Speaker 2: 16:42

And so I remember being in the chapel there. It's not a chapel like we would know in a typical hospital, it's like pews and stuff like that. It was just a white, sterile room but it had this soft glow because the windows were frosted. But I mean the benches there was no seats, it was just benches that were white. The floor was white, the walls were white, the furniture was white, there were these beautiful flowers that were very fragrant.

Speaker 2: 17:06

And I remember just going, man, I don't know what to do. I'm a very big, I got to be in control and know what's going to happen. I'm super out of control and I don't know what's going to happen. So I felt helpless, alone all of it, and I remember looking up in that moment and on the wall, only painting on the wall was this rustic wood framed with like gold flecking picture of Jesus and I was like, oh yeah, hi, I'm not alone, I do have support in that immediately, cause it was like, hey, god, you know. And then it turned into help me, god. And so that's when I can say the immediate switch of looking toward faith to help, cause that's all you have. And then they keep.

Speaker 1: 17:48

Yeah. So I wanted to ask. Earlier you said you know you're in your early 30s and you're transitioning through, you're trying to have the baby and it feels like everything is just not working. So, as you were like going through that and whatnot, you know how was the Lord is, you know, so easy to do on paper, but when things just are not going the way you believe they're supposed to be going, it's just so much harder to rely back. So, as you were going through those multiple years, how was the faith in there?

Speaker 2: 18:20

So that's the problem. I didn't have it. I always believed in God and my wife, but my wife believes in God, but we weren't going to church necessarily, maybe every now and then. We didn't take it serious, we didn't have a relationship, and that's why it's one of the things I always urge people is get with God before you need him, because I really think that that situation would have been from trying to have a baby going through the IVF, the adoption, and then the next IVF, and then what happened to us. I think we would have had a stronger foundation in being faithful that it's all for his purpose. So, yeah, I would. I would like to tell you a different thing, but that's the real. Real. We, we had no face.

Speaker 2: 19:01

You know, we didn't even know to look to face at that point, and it was that white room with the gold painting.

Speaker 1: 19:07

There it is. That's it. So now you know you have the baby. Uh, what role has prayer played in navigating the challenges of raising a child with such a unique beginning?

Speaker 2: 19:17

Yeah, well, his unique beginning turned into a unique continuation because at three years old he was diagnosed with autism. So now he's navigating the world as a neurodivergent and it is. The struggle is definitely real, but we've we've centered god in everything we do. So it's so like god, my wife, my kids, you know, like that's order for me. And so when we mean our, our second son, nate, he goes to a christian private school, the school that we have, grace, and then is, you know, they're, they're people from first that created this school and it's literally for kids with developmental issues and special needs.

Speaker 2: 19:57

So it's all faith-based. And, you know, it's amazing to see your kids. Like our dog had kennel coughs and my five-year-old was like you know, we should pray for Slinky and Dinah and I are looking at each other like duh right got you. And so here's our five-year-old, you know, teaching us. But it just shows our core beliefs are being transitioned into the kids as well. It's beautiful and Grayson sings Jesus songs all the time and he knows certain scriptures. He's got a memory like crazy. So it's a beautiful thing and it's everything that we do everything that we do.

Speaker 1: 20:34

Yeah, it's definitely awesome. You listen to. You know the radio or Caleb or Air One or whatnot. It's always cool and the little, the little kids are singing off to themselves. You just kind of hear it around the corner. Some of the songs. It's good stuff.

Speaker 2: 20:43

Amazing.

Speaker 1: 20:44

I'm curious have you seen any, like you know, blatant acts of God? You know through some of that, challenges and whatnot with the neurodiversity and things like that that allowed you to like reach out and touch other people and things like that you know through those challenges.

Speaker 2: 21:00

Absolutely. I think to go back to your introduction period when we were talking is all the things that you've been through and the fact that how can I say this? I'm trying to get sharing, telling your story, talking about it. I think, being vulnerable, which I was never before, I was always like the macho man I'm not going to, you know, I'm fine, I'm fine. Part of this story is going to lead to that.

Speaker 2: 21:33

But I find that the more I share and the more I'm vulnerable, the more people start coming to me. They're like yeah, I know your son's autistic. I have a question Can you not tell anyone? But I think my son is autistic, like all these things. People are coming from all over the place and of course, we sit and we talk and we listen and we guide them and say here's what we did and your life is not over, it's just. You know now I felt that way right when he was diagnosed. I'm like I, you know, how much more does this kid have to go through and what does that mean for us and all of it? And so I know where they're at. Every situation is different, but we're bound by either the autism or the NICU, you know. And so there's at least support in knowing that we're connected in that way and we're going to have support for you. But if I were to go back to the NICU, I lost it. I was going to say something, but I lost it. Sorry, go ahead.

Speaker 1: 22:28

But I think a lot of us had to be in the role of, like you know, pull yourself up, dust yourself off and things like that, and you know, show no emotion and whatnot, and the man is of course, supposed to be strong and the protector and provider and things like that. But at the same time we go through things and struggle a lot. I know I'm in a leadership position at work and so I try to open up, usually not right off the bat because that's kind of freaking everyone out. I not right off the bat because that's kind of freaking everyone out. I'm not going to like, I just kind of do the wave tops and priorities and what I'm you know slightly about, and then a couple of months in I talk about, you know, how I lost my dad and I went through a divorce and I co-parent and you know, one of my daughters still in Virginia, so I'm in the UK now, so getting across the ocean and all this, and you know I lost most of my grandparents at this point and I bring all those things up not to be, you know, negative or whatnot, but sometimes I feel like, you know, the divide between different levels of the military is too far when we're all human.

Speaker 1: 23:19

I'm like I want you to be able to walk in. I know we talk about like open door policy and always drives me nuts a little bit, cause I'm like physically the door is open but no one is going to talk to you. If there's no connection, like if you're all squared away and you look perfect, like I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to talk to someone who's perfect, either Like I don't want someone that maybe got in trouble or you know, something has happened along the way. Like if you see them all squared away, like I'm good, like the door is open but I'm not walking in. So I think that bridge, to be able to connect with people, is super important A hundred percent, no question about it.

Speaker 2: 23:50

And I do remember you're basically. You're Ted Lasso, by the way. I don't know if you've seen that series.

Speaker 1: 23:54

Perfect, I'm okay with that.

Speaker 2: 23:59

But no, the the moment that, oh my gosh, oh yeah. So this is, this is the moment. This is the moment. So our friend, when we were doing we did a Facebook live back then when we were going through what we were going through and because we couldn't get individually, we could not reach out to every single person that was reaching out to us. So my friend did a kind of like an interview about Facebook Live to answer all the questions that people were asking us, and one of our friends, she said hey, you should write a book. This is like so unbelievable, this story. And the seed was planted. But there's no way.

Speaker 2: 24:30

In that moment I was even contemplating that. But it festered and after Grayson was home from the hospital and we would tell people our story, like multiple people were like this should be a book, this should be a movie, like it's so unbelievable, you know, transporting him from the book. We should write the book. And so that should turn into someday, turned into three years. We didn't do anything for three years.

Speaker 2: 24:56

But then I was at church and the pastor said have you ever asked God what he wants you to do with your life? And I was like, oh, that's different. No, I've always made it about what I want you know. And he goes let's do it. So close your eyes and ask. So I closed my eyes and it was immediate. I mean it was like boom. I looked at my wife. I'm like smiling. She's like what are you smiling at? I said write the book, speak about it and transform lives. And so I started writing the next day that, you know, first word turned into the first sentence paragraph and so forth. And now I'm in phase two of that, which is speak about it. And thank you, nate, for this platform, because you know I'm following his word.

Speaker 1: 25:36

That's awesome. That's all good stuff, yeah. So the last question in the pillar of faith and family how has your family's experience with health and nutrition shaped the way you approach parenting?

Speaker 2: 25:47

So I think that we were having difficulty having children and it was so crazy In that moment our friend reached out to us and has this protocol for a certain cleanse, and so it was a 10-day cleanse and we said, well, let's give it a try for other reasons, like she wanted to lose weight, I wanted to just feel better. And we had done the cleanse and then we had started working with these products and taking these products, both her and I, and I feel very strongly that when we started learning about it, educating ourselves on nutrition, eliminating processed food, reading labels, understanding what dyes do and you know, just synthetic, just crazy synthetic vitamins that don't do anything and all these other things that we started to learn about, and then the benefits of what whole food nutrition can do for your, for your body, like literally, it could, you know in our experience, heal it, heal yourself, you could heal yourself through food and nutrition. And so you know, we have been on this protocol for, you know, years, and that's when we tried to go for the IVF again. I mean, I had all my superfoods with me to Mexico, like I had to like mule them in and stuff, like I had to figure it out, but we had all these foods that I was just pushing down her throat, you know, like you know oatgrass and wheatgrass and spirulina and like all these different things, and I really feel that that contributed to us being able to even have Grayson. But then that transitioned into, I mean, at one year old we were giving him the green powder in his milk, you know, and stuff like that, and so in his bottles and to this day he every day has a smoothie and it's the same green powder that we throw on them.

Speaker 2: 27:32

You know, diet is very, very important for autistic children specifically, so cutting out gluten and dairy and sugar as much as possible is. We saw a drastic turnaround there. But continuing to feed him these superfoods, I feel, is not only helped him grow and develop, but now we're working with him to try to eat, because he gets stuck on one thing, so we're trying to get him to eat other things and he's doing it, and so I think that it's just super important to have that education system with your kids. My five-year-old always asks is this healthy? And we're like well, not necessarily. And then, is this healthy? Yes, he's like okay, like if you ask him about McDonald's, he'll be like well, that's not healthy. It's got chemicals, sugars and salt. You know it's like they know all that stuff. So it's kind of neat and I think that you know we're having fun with it, but also it's you know educating them on making the right choices and why you know.

Speaker 1: 28:35

So yeah, that's some good stuff. What would you say if there's like top three, non-negotiable or something? Is there something you eat every day? Don't eat every day. If you had to like, boil it down to a couple of rules, what would it be? Eat whole foods.

Speaker 2: 28:49

Yeah, yeah, eat whole foods, right, I think, but it's tough, though, I mean, we're not like crazy about it, you know, if they have, you know, I think it's more for us educating them, like saying, okay, this is healthy and here's why, and this is not healthy and here's why. And everything's in moderation, you know, because I feel there was a time where it was like you can't eat that because it's not healthy. You can't eat that because it's not healthy. You can't eat that because it's not healthy, and pretty soon Nate would go well, I like unhealthy, and so I was like crap. That didn't work. So now, when we balance it out, it's better for us, and you know, I think the non-negotiable, though, is we'll limit the sugar intake as much as possible.

Speaker 2: 29:29

We definitely eliminated dyes, like for sure. It was the craziest thing I've ever experienced when grayson especially grayson, our autistic son we had a fever, so you'd give the kid baby tylenol, right, the cherry flavor one, of course, and so we, we gave it to him, and I'm talking. Minutes later the kid was bouncing off the walls like psychotic. I mean, my wife and I looked at each other like what in the hell? We didn't looked at each other like what in the heck? And we didn't connect this. We were like what in the heck is happening? He should be chilling out, you know.

Speaker 2: 29:58

And so a couple months later, same thing happened and we gave him the Tylenol and same exact reaction and I started connecting the dots. I'm like, wait a minute, it's the red dye from the cherry flavor. So a couple months later we got the dye free one, gave it to him Super chill, super calm, and so to know that and see how quickly it affects in, you know, now we can see in Nathan, who's not autistic, who is like a few minutes, 20, 30 minutes later, if for some reason he has it because school gave it to him or some crazy, he isn't he's off the walls. So we definitely the no-no is definitely dies. If I had to pick one, and then the, the yeses is pretty much every single day, grayson and Nathan pretty much every single day have their, their smoothie, which is our whole food blend powders and stuff.

Speaker 1: 30:50

Okay, there you go. There's the good and the bad. The next pillar you have is overcoming challenges. So what would you say are the biggest obstacles you faced during the micro preemie journey and how did you overcome them?

Speaker 2: 31:03

I think the biggest hurdle for us was being in Mexico and not speaking the language.

Speaker 2: 31:07

That was that was massive. Um, you know, we even had translators come but they didn't understand NICU words so they couldn't translate. You know, like they can literally translate, but we're like what does that mean? And they just couldn't figure it out. So we had zero communication other than the thumbs up or thumbs down. And that was the scariest part of it all, because the doctor would bring in a a translator, brought in a translator at one point and she was translating so literal and so like fast. Like there was like a two second, three second delay. And you know, at one point, because it's all so literal and he I'm sure did not mean to say this literally, it was to be with some kind of tooth and like bedside manner, but it was like pretty much, grace is gonna die, and I was just wait a minute. What did you just say? He knew, oh, I'm sorry, and so that just, of course, then we couldn't communicate further. So now it's like, well, wait a minute, what is happening? And I think the community, how did we get over it? Man, we shared our story.

Speaker 2: 32:07

There you go, we went public, we went live, and from that live we had NICU nurses from all over the world personally reach out to us and say, listen, you know, I'm a NICU nurse in Australia. He's not positioned the best way. If you could have him positioned this way. Someone came from California, was like hey, do they have a proper incubator there? And I'm like what is that? You know? Because he was in an open bed with saran wrap and a heat lamp and I just thought, well, I've never been in a NICU before, so that's normal, right? Well, no, there's isolates and proper NICU equipment.

Speaker 2: 32:40

And then my cousin who had been a NICU nurse that I didn't even know about that a NICU nurse for, you know, almost two decades she was like if you could move him to the States, that would be phenomenal. And I'm like what do you mean? How do you even fathom moving this one and a half pound kid? And so that then spurred letting people know that it's a possibility that we're trying to move him to the States. And then our friend Roxy. She said I happen to know a connection at the international part of the hospital in Miami and she's going to call you. And it was like so crazy how everything just led to the next. So I think the way that we were able to get through it, because we had so much support was sharing our story, you know not trying to do it alone.

Speaker 1: 33:29

Yeah, the Lord helped out there. It's crazy too. For the longest time I didn't out there, it's crazy too. For the longest time I didn't know there was a difference between a translator and an interpreter. I was like, oh, those sound synonymous, like those are the same thing. But you know, being able to pick up on idioms or, you know, actually capture the meaning of what someone's saying versus like you said, like literal translation, like that's one thing. Interpret what's actually happening and relay what's really being said is a completely different thing. So it's interesting. Those words seem like they'd be the same, but you're much higher level of being able to understand things if you're at that interpreter level. Wow.

Speaker 2: 34:04

I did not know that.

Speaker 1: 34:05

So thank you, yeah, yeah, translator is like straight words and interprets like the meaning and I will give you what it means. And they probably wouldn't have said like he's going to die, because that'd be awful, right, exactly, that wouldn't be capturing the interpreting Exactly. I think interpreters get paid like twice as much money, which don't quote me, I have no idea, but I think they are a different pay scale.

Speaker 2: 34:28

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 34:29

Usually I think interpreters are from the area. Like I've lived there and know like the slang and things like that. Because you're picking up on on smaller things, interpreters are actually required to. Like pick up on body language to a translator is like straight words. An interpreter is going to feel how the room feels and I only know that from a few things uh, you know classes and whatnot in the military. Like you want to get an interpreter because they're going to sense if you're in trouble or there's something bad going on and hey, you got to get out. Like the translator is just going to give you words, not how the room feels. But the next question I had for you was what role has community played in your family's healing and growth? It sounded like the Facebook live went live there. Even after that was there more you know community support in the growing and things like that.

Speaker 2: 35:11

A hundred percent. I mean, it was an incredible and that's what I get almost sometimes most emotional about is the way that this worldwide community came together for us, like, who are we, you know? And it was, it was overwhelming, to say the least. I mean, we had people that we have, a dear friend who has a restaurant in Bucerias, mexico, like if you don't know Vallarta, you don't definitely don't know Bucerias, you know, and it's this tiny little town and he has a restaurant there and he's sharing our story with one of his regulars and the regular just immediately cut a check for 5,000 US dollars, wanting to be anonymous. And I'm just like, how does this happen? You know, because it was massively costly to have Grayson in the NICU. It was a thousand US dollars a day back then. He needed to be there, it looked like, for three months. So just start doing the math.

Speaker 2: 36:04

But then, as we, you know, had the again communicated and the community came together, not only with prayers, just food. They would bring us food and because I forget to eat, you know, sleep, what is that? You know? 40 hours, no problem, I'm good, I'm good, you know. But but then to be able to have the connection at the hospital who then had the connection for the life flight, but then the life flight was 20,000, but then the Mexico hospital was 20,000. And then to go to the new hospital needed a $20,000 deposit.

Speaker 2: 36:35

Like, how do you even do this? Like I can work right, you can't work when you're going through this. I couldn't even figure out my name. So it was an incredible outpouring of community. That, yes, absolutely continued because we created a private group for Grayson and we have about a thousand people in there. They are in there still and do updates like here's how Grayson's doing, here's some challenges we're having, and they get to pray or give some great advice and just always being supportive. So he's got like an amazing group of people that are interested in him and his life and his development and it's just it's super helpful for us to have all of that support.

Speaker 1: 37:18

Yeah, it's crazy how powerful God is. We, you know, want to try to handle things ourselves, but sometimes everything's all lined up. I remember last year we lived in Mariester, florida, which is outside of Destin, and so we were out there in Florida and there was a guy that went to church there and he needed brain surgery, so something very specific and you know, very high risk and whatnot, and I forget the exact details of the story, so I'm going to butcher a little bit. But he went somewhere and ended up bumping into this guy and he's like, yeah, you know, I really need some help, blah, blah.

Speaker 1: 37:49

The guy ends up being like one of the like top neurosurgeons, like in the United States, and like he's booked out for months. He's like, oh, just swing by and I'll take a look. And they did the scan. They're like, oh, I found it. And then they lined up the surgery and like all these things that should have taken like months and it just happened. He like bumped into this guy. It's like, oh, perfect, here he is and doing some powerful things, lining stuff up for for all of us. So it's good stuff. The last question I have in this one is how have you managed to balance the emotional, physical and spiritual challenges, while keeping faith at the center.

Speaker 2: 38:23

From the moment that the pastor asked what God wants you to do with your life, really started deep diving into the relationship with God. And so I just obeyed right. I wrote the book. It was not easy. I'm not a writer, I'm like a C student, you know. You know a lot of. You know, just just getting by with that. So I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but it was definitely a way to do what he said and I put it on paper. It took 26 months to write, 10 months to edit and, you know, finally got it out there.

Speaker 2: 38:59

But it was a daily. Help me, you know, I need help, I need help. But then after that, now it's like phase two. I'm doing what he says, I'm sharing it and hopefully transforming lives. But also now, on the daily, literally this morning, I'm like, what way do you want me to go? Because I feel like I'm in this holding pattern which I'm now discovering is part of the process as well, and so you know it's just continue. Do I pause? Continue, do something differently, tell me, talk to me. So it's been an absolute daily with me.

Speaker 2: 39:30

Now I'm getting way more into. I have a daily devotional. I have my new Bible. I'm. You know, I read the Bible in a year, I did the Bible recap in a year. So I think it's it's just for me. That not knowing what's next for me always freaked me out, but now I feel much more calm about it's all good. It's all good as long as I'm just, you know, taking one step toward what path he wants me to do. Then I think I'm okay, I don't have to know how it's going to end, I just keep taking daily strides.

Speaker 1: 40:02

Yeah, that makes sense. I think consistency is like a super big thing we hone in and we want to talk about motivation and different buzzwords and I'm sure motivation's you know real, real. But I think consistency is a lot more. Really, you just got to do the thing and keep doing it. Like motivation kind of comes and goes. You feel it some days and sometimes you don't, but the consistency is where it's at. I closed out the reading through the bible this year on on you version, so that was pretty cool and I'm starting a new plan now. So I think, yeah, consistency right, 100%. The last pillar for you is living with purpose and sharing your story. So you started to touch on that a little bit. I'm curious what are some lessons you've learned from your family's journey that you hope others can apply in their lives?

Speaker 2: 40:46

So that's originally was my idea of writing the book was to help other NICU parents was to help other NICU parents and you know, just when they're three in the morning and you got a NICU mom all alone in hospital going, you know why me, I'm all alone. I wanted them to have our story to you know, to at least have one family that's been through something similar. I always say that every NICU story is different, but we're bound together by the NICU, you know. And so when I got my three things from God to write the book, speak About it and Transform Lives I think that it also like we talked about autism, but also we have, like so many micro preemie and preemie parents reaching out to me on social media privately, going help. You know I'm here.

Speaker 2: 41:31

At this stage I'm like, oh my gosh, I remember just hang on. I always tell them like, hang on, stay on the ride. It's the roller coaster, try to get with God as much as you can. Take care of yourself, you know, and then also be you're the parent. So trust your instincts, trust your guts. If you feel like you have a question, you have to ask. I don't care if it's the top head, doctor, nurse or whatever. Ask, be the advocate for your child, because nobody's going to advocate like you are as a parent. Don't second guess yourself. If you get a question, ask it and don't settle for a generic answer Like get it until you are satisfied and then you know really to look at.

Speaker 2: 42:10

I could not imagine this is another thing that I got. I could not imagine taking a dollar of profit from this book. So all net proceeds are going toward helping put proper NICU equipment into Mexican hospitals, because we had a phenomenal doctor but he was restricted with the technology, that he had Obviously no incubator and so forth. When the Life Flight doctors and nurses came they could speak Spanish and they said he was freaking out over the mobile equipment. And they're like the mobile equipment. If he went back to our hospital he would really freak out. You know he was taking video and pictures because he's never seen anything like that. It was their mobile equipment.

Speaker 2: 42:48

I don't know if our book is instrumental at all in what happened, but I'm hoping somehow it was that the hospital that Nate Grayson was born in that was in. Remember Saran Wrap Heat Lamp. They actually have a proper incubator now. So I'm super, super happy about that. But then the doctor said but I need better monitors. So, whatever, whatever it is, we're going to try to help make a difference and save another baby's life, because, man, it's scary in that NICU.

Speaker 1: 43:17

So what's the name of the book and what's the you know? Quick, one minute rundown of the book.

Speaker 2: 43:22

Yeah. So it's Breathe, eat Poop and Grow Breathe, eat Poop and Grow. It's our micro preemie journey and it takes you literally through our, you know, going into the hospital with preeclampsia to, you know, taking a life flight to Miami and all that went into. It's almost day by day, minute by minute story about, you know, hope and faith, and it's a memoir and you know it's it's something that will be an emotional journey. I wrote it specifically in the beginning to help NICU parents, but we're finding other people that have read it that have not had an NICU experience, are like, wow, my faith in humanity is restored, my faith in God is restored. If I'm ever going through anything, I just think, you know, if Grayson can do it, I can do it. So it's been a very interesting turn of events as far as where I thought I was going to be impacting people, and you know the fact that we're impacting not only NICU parents but just all human beings that read it.

Speaker 1: 44:26

So I'm super, super grateful for that it's wild to me too, like sometimes you'll never know. There's certain things you do you smile at someone, you pay for someone's coffee. You know we always want to focus on, like larger things, but I think a lot of small things will happen and we'll never know. You will never know Like somebody will read it, and I mean you'll, I mean unless they reach out or, you know, send a review, and some people do, but we're all busy running around doing stuff. So there's probably a big, you know, population of people that listen to you, know the story here or read the book, or, and we'll never know. That's why, you know, sometimes I get discouraged and I'm tired and I don't want to edit or I don't want to jump on, but you just keep on and, you know, do it consistently, like I mentioned before, cause you don't know. You know, maybe it catches someone. I'll never know, but that's perfectly okay. All the time and effort that we've put into things like this is helping people.

Speaker 1: 45:13

So I wanted to ask you, brian as we talked about a lot of good stuff all through those three pillars if you could pick one final takeaway from everything you've learned so far, what would be the final takeaway for people out there?

Speaker 2: 45:25

Get with God before you need him.

Speaker 1: 45:30

That is a good one.

Speaker 2: 45:31

Get with God before you need him. For me, I tried to read the Bible many times and I like like three pages in, I'm like I'm out, I don't understand what's happening. So for me it was really nice to go through the Bible recap through the Bible app, and it was a nice way to, in a year, go through the Bible but also, every single day, have a synopsis of what the heck did. I just read and through that experience alone I feel so much more calm about the future. Interesting things happened that were unexpected. I think I reduced my alcohol intake by like 90%, not because I wanted to, it just kind of happened. I've been able to help other people and, you know, guide them to the Lord, and I mean it just happens Like I'm not even trying. So my world is certainly turned upside down in the best way possible, and so I would just say, if you don't know him, just start, get a little daily devotional, something that takes a minute a day. Just find something and get into it. Just get into that relationship with him.

Speaker 2: 46:34

I also found that was interesting is reading through the Bible. I'm like you know, ecclesiastes, there's nothing new under the sun, right? So I'm going through all of these, this Bible, and I'm like what? Well, wait a minute, I read that book. It's a developmental book. I went to that seminar. I didn't. You know, all of it is stemming from the Bible anyway. So just go to the one source and you're good to go. You know, like crazy.

Speaker 1: 46:58

Yeah, and I think the important part is, you know, trying different things, that you said like a couple of pages and quit, but you got to like keep trying to find the thing. Like, me and my wife are both going through the Bible on the YouVersion app right now and we're completely different plans. I like the one that has the videos and kind of walks through different stuff and, you know, has animations and I'm visual and she likes to read and, like you know, more meditate on the reading that she's reading and so I think you know keep trying some things and you know there's a lot of different things. There's like a million different study Bibles and you know footnotes and you know being able to write on the sides of things and so just try a couple. I mean, you know, now we all, we all learn differently, we all absorb information differently. So if the first one doesn't work, try a couple of others. Just so many different ones.

Speaker 1: 47:39

I love the Bible Project. That's because I'm from outside of Portland, so I love the guy two guys there in Portland doing the Bible Project. But yeah, I have for you. I appreciate you coming out, thank you. Thanks for those final words. I think those are really good. Please join the conversation, connect with us on any one of the many social media platforms that are out there. Share your thoughts, questions, insights. We're building a community and your voice matters. I love you all. See ya, thank you, so Thank you.