The Teenage Entrepreneur: Building a Business and Spreading Happiness w/ the Utesch's

Meet Jane Utesk, a 17-year-old high school junior who owns a Card My Yard franchise, and her mother Jillian, an accidental AI developer who supports her daughter's entrepreneurial journey. Together they discuss how their business spreads joy through yard signs for special occasions while teaching valuable life lessons about resilience, service, and authenticity.

• Jane shares how owning a sign business at 17 has taught her patience and determination
• Jillian explains how she transitioned from chemistry to marketing to AI development
• The challenges of putting signs in difficult yards and managing a business as a teenager
• Creating meaningful memories through personalized yard displays for celebrations and life milestones
• How Jane's natural empathy and desire to help others shapes her business approach
• The impact of their signs, from cancer treatment celebrations to divorce parties
• Finding joy in small gestures like smiles and conversations rather than grand gestures
• Balancing helping others with self-care and setting boundaries
• The importance of authenticity and knowing yourself to live a joy-centered life

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Chapters

• 0:50 Meet Jane and Jillian Utesk
• 3:32 Card My Yard: A Teen's Franchise
• 8:31 Spreading Joy Through Yard Signs
• 18:11 Creating Memorable Customer Experiences
• 26:08 The Power of Meaningful Memories
• 33:55 Helping Others With a Servant's Heart
• 45:06 Living a Joy-Centered Life

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:23

Hi everyone. I'm Nate Shear, your host, and you're tuned in to Mindforce, a podcast that explores love, life and learning, because your mind truly matters. Today we have Jillian and Jane Utesk, and today we'll be talking about spreading joy, creating memories and helping their friends. So we'll start with the warm-up the who, what, why and where. What makes you you?

Speaker 2: 0:46

Why don't you go first, Jane?

Speaker 3: 0:49

Um so I'm Jane. I'm a junior in high school. I just turned 17 in November. I play tennis for fun. I like hanging out with my friends. I think that's it out with my friends. I think that's it, you're an aspiring nurse. Yes, I'm in my cna class at my school right now. I always wanted to be a nurse or like a physician assistant, something like that. I just always wanted to do that and I find joy like helping people out, like we're going to be working in like a nursing home, so that'll be fun.

Speaker 1: 1:27

Nice and Jillian. What do you do?

Speaker 2: 1:30

I am accidentally an AI developer with a software as a service. It is weird because I'm a chemist by trade and then I became a marketer for 20 years, as one does and then we needed some tools for our marketing business just for our business, when AI was just kind of getting started, and I said, oh, let's go play with this little fidget spinner thing called AI and see what it can do to help our business. And then we kind of woke up one morning and said, oh my gosh, this is a different color outfit than we thought we were wearing. We thought we were a marketing agency, we're sales as a service, and so that's been super fun to see how different people from different lenses use our software to spread joy. They use it in so many different ways and I love seeing how it's able to help them, help others with their goals.

Speaker 1: 2:17

That's awesome. Yeah, I find it kind of wild and interesting how we end up where we end up. So I came in to the military, initially doing air traffic control, and then I moved into contracting cutting contracts on behalf of the government between, you know, the contractor and the government and then finally ended up finding the Medical Service Corps, which is what I do now for the last eight years. But I'm a hospital administrator by trade so I love helping people. Like you, jane, I pass out at Blood and Needles so I don't work the front side of the house, but I love, you know, giving supplies and pharmaceuticals and insurance and all the things that happen on the backside of the house. So absolutely love helping people. I love that I get the role. It's a little bit different on that backside, but still get to help people. But, yeah, definitely identify with helping people. And why are you two here today?

Speaker 3: 3:01

And why are you two here today? Well, I own a Card, my Yard franchise, which is a signed business that we do birthdays, we do congratulations, we do graduations, literally anything you might have for a holiday.

Speaker 1: 3:23

Can you think of how many 17-year-olds have their own franchise? Is it?

Speaker 3: 3:27

like less than one percenters. I haven't met any.

Speaker 1: 3:30

It seems like a pretty big thing to get out in front of and that's pretty awesome. And last question is kind of fun because you guys are in different locations when in the world are you calling from?

Speaker 3: 3:43

I am in Raleigh.

Speaker 2: 3:43

North Carolina. Mark, I'm in Detroit and I love technology. When I booked this with you, I had no idea I'd be here today and I'm just so happy that we were able to still connect today and to do this, and it's just kind of another example of using technology to spread joy.

Speaker 1: 4:02

Yeah, it's awesome. I think there's a lot of downside and we hear a lot of negative on social media and you know there's bullying and things like that. There's always. You know the other side of the coin, where you got the positivity, you know forming groups and pages and getting out kindness and other things. Like I mentioned before, we started the show. I've now recorded with people in India, germany, australia, africa. It's been pretty wild. I never would have thought that. I thought it was going to be kind of in my house and now it's expanded and it's only possible due to the internet. So let's try to focus on the positives that come from technology and things like that. I know AI might freak out some people, but it's got some positive and definitely can take care of some things. So the first warmup question I have is can you share a moment when someone's kindness brought you unexpected joy?

Speaker 3: 4:46

I think my love language would probably be when someone does something for me or we're seeking gifts. So probably either getting a really good gift, like my friend she got me a Build-A-Bear but it had my late dog's like fur in it, which I thought was so cute and it was really sweet I like that and then my friends also help me with my sign sometimes. I thought it was really helpful. My friend Molly I was going on a cruise and I asked her hey, can you help me out for this week I'll be gone, and she was like of course I'll help you and she did a great job. It was also really stressful for me.

Speaker 2: 5:27

I actually I was going to ask you to elaborate on your mommy's stress that you had while you were gone that week.

Speaker 3: 5:33

It was really stressful because, like that Carbonyard is like my baby now, like I can't let anyone else. It's just not the same from when I do it. Yeah, I was so stressed. I usually never get like like acne and I got a fat pitbull because I was so nervous. I was so stressed. I like I was trying to like get in a good state of mind for like, oh, I'm on vacation, I'm gonna have so much fun and be so relaxed it was. It was rough.

Speaker 2: 6:03

So do you see, she went see her dad and I would tell him kind of keeping things going and she kept texting me every day how's it going? Have you seen photos? Are they straight? Is she doing? Is she doing the fluff on the ends? How I would do it, you know, because there has to be different heights and different levels and I just need to make sure I'm sure she's not doing it right, but however she's doing it is wrong. I was was like change, just chill woman.

Speaker 1: 6:24

So do you see the franchise growing and, you know, having more yards and other people to help you.

Speaker 3: 6:31

I think eventually. Yes, I would like to hire some like high school students eventually. I think we're really growing right now, so, yeah, so how do you see?

Speaker 1: 6:44

that progressing with that? Are you going to be able to allow them to flourish? Or how are you going to be able to release, you know, give away some of that stress. How do you see that going?

Speaker 3: 6:57

I'm definitely gonna have to work on the letting people figure it out themselves type thing, cause that's how I had to learn. I just had to do it and that's just how I learned. So I'll probably just do that, and then I would have to train them how to like put them in, and then they'll just like the structure, how I put it up, and then they'll just have to do it from there, I guess.

Speaker 1: 7:20

Yeah, and I want to touch on like the kindness that you talked about earlier. I think it's really important that you know the things that are related to you and are special to you right, like being in the military, we move a lot and so when you move you get like going away gifts and sometimes you'll get ones. It's like the outline of the state and it's a piece of wood and kind of looks the same as all the rest, and I have some like. One of my favorite gifts is someone took a montage or a collage of a bunch of different pictures from when I was at that specific assignment and put them together. So it didn't really cost any money other than cutting gluing and paper, but it's like one of my all-time favorite ones, the same like the Build-A-Bear or whatnot, someone that's personalized and really captures that. So the next question I had for you is kind of the flip side what's your favorite way to brighten someone's day?

Speaker 3: 8:04

I think just like simple things, like smiling, like at school, like I try to like smile at people and be like hi, how are you? Just simple things like that could really go a long way and like make their day better. And I think just being there for people and having an open mind, like what they're going through, and not just like pushing them away, I guess just being there for them, yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 1: 8:32

So I wanted to ask you you know you've been doing the business for a little bit. You're getting a little stress from other people helping you out If you could go back to day one of you starting the business, what advice would you give to day one, jane?

Speaker 3: 8:47

I think just it'll all work out like the first sign I had. I was. I think jillian was as stressed as I was too. Yeah, so I was really stressed. So I think, just like it'll all work out like it worked out perfectly fine once I finished it. Yeah, it's like a.

Speaker 2: 9:06

You have to get them in the ground and I know that seems like it should have been obvious to me and everyone involved. But getting them in the ground physically is harder than you think and it really varies on people's yards and what kind of terrain you have to, like Mary Lou Retton, over to get into or over a ravine or something from where you can park, bringing the signs with you and then stepping back and not stepping into fun surprises in their yard as you're trying to look at the sign and make sure it's all level. And I was surprised. I mean, jane has a great artistic eye, so that has really helped. I would not be able to. She fits the content in the center, so like happy birthday or congratulations, the content in the center and then fluff on either side based off the entrance, the interests of the recipient and so kind of getting those aligned and finding things that work. I just don't have that level of creativity.

Speaker 1: 10:06

That's pretty cool. Back to like. We were just talking about that personalized thing. You know, anyone could probably do it, but having the eye and really honing in on the person is probably what that what makes that feel, you know, a lot more special or whatnot, as they pull up the driveway and see that that's awesome. So before we get into your three main pillars, I wanted to see if you had any questions for me.

Speaker 3: 10:29

What made you go into the military service and helping people over there?

Speaker 1: 10:35

Yeah, yeah. So it's kind of funny as you grow up, you never want to do what your parents do, because that's not cool. And so I used to watch my dad sit on the edge of the bed like put his uniform on and I swore up and down not going to do that. I'm not going to do what you and grandpa did, I'm going to pave my own way, I'm going to do my own thing. And so I went off and flew airplanes at the University of North Dakota. So I went to aviation school to be a professional pilot, probably made some poor decisions, you know, focus on things that probably weren't the best thing, a little bit too much beer pong and ended up running out of money. So don't do that. And needed to refocus. I needed some direction or whatnot.

Speaker 1: 11:11

Since I was flying and I really liked that atmosphere, I moved over and started scouting around trying to figure out what I wanted to do. So I came in the Air Force as a guaranteed. Sometimes I don't think we do it as much anymore, but you used to be able to guarantee your job. So I came in as air traffic control because I was like, oh, I flew, I was in the airplane, it'd be cool to be on the other side of the radio. So I came in there and did that. But it's funny, the universe is super hilarious and always finding ways to make fun. Because I did that and then I didn't particularly love air traffic. It wasn't the thing that really gave me joy and got me up in the morning.

Speaker 1: 11:44

So then I cross-trained into another career field and my dad was actually in contracting and I'd always have people ask me like oh, you know, does your dad fly airplanes? Because when you're in the Air Force everyone flies an airplane, even though we have like 143 different jobs. But to everyone else we fly airplanes. So my friends as a kid would always be like, oh, does he fly airplanes? And I'd be like no, he just sits at a desk and I'd kind of poke fun like, oh, you just push paper and whatnot. And then I end up in the exact same career field. So I remember I called him after I cross-trained and said, oh, I'm in contracting, and of course he just starts laughing on the other end of the phone. So universal comeback just try your best, make good choices and you know whatever will happen. But it's probably a little more than you wanted. But that's where I'm at now, and then a long story to get to the medical service core. But yeah, that's how I initially ended up here.

Speaker 2: 12:32

Jump in and see because you know, given Jane's age, we've had some conflicts in the business that I some I was expecting, some I wasn't expecting. But what I wanted to ask you to talk about conflicts is food. Is there a food you would not eat as a child that you love now, like Brussels sprouts?

Speaker 1: 12:51

Absolutely One I find hilarious. It's avocado and guacamole. My mom thought it was disgusting. I think she probably still does. Hopefully she'll listen and maybe let me know.

Speaker 1: 13:03

I can't remember, but she avoided it and always thought it was something bad. So I never even tried it, I just had voided it at a default. I just thought I was supposed to avoid it, like, oh, it's all mushy and green and off to the side, I just won't mess with it. And now I'm like mom, why'd you do this to me? I will destroy some guacamole now, but I needed to get out and try some things. So yeah, I think you know trying everything. Once you know if you don't like fish or you know whatever it is, at least give it a try and see. I wish I would've done more of that, but I just kind of avoided it because I think she avoided it. Now she's gonna be like you blame me for everything. That's not what I'm saying, but it is kind of funny. Yeah, those are some good questions. So we'll move into the three pillars. The first one you guys have is spreading joy. What does spreading joy to you mean on a personal level?

Speaker 3: 13:48

or their holiday. I think it still makes their day, because I had this sign where this girl she just got done with cancer treatment, her chemo, and that really was really sweet to see, like putting it up and all that, and she texted us after she was like this is great, we loved it. And then also, like the parents, when I put up their kids signs, they're always like this is great, thank you, and I'm like.

Speaker 1: 14:28

Good stuff.

Speaker 3: 14:35

How do you stay joyful in difficult times yourself? I think Karma Yard has really taught me patience, especially when the ground is not good or like I cannot put the sign in, like I have to really take some deep breaths, like I have to do this, I have to put the sign in and I just get in my calm, happy place and just do it.

Speaker 1: 14:56

What would you say is the most difficult yard? Can you tell us like the nightmare yard Is there?

Speaker 3: 15:02

one that stands out.

Speaker 3: 15:04

Yeah, I had this one yard. So usually I use like a mallet to put in my happy birthday in the back, and usually that's fine with the mallet like I can put it in. But this sign, if I couldn't put it in with a mallet, I already knew it was going to be bad because I would not be able to put it in with my hands for the bottom row. So I was already stressing about that and also I was newer to the business at that time too. That was really bad. It was complete rock. I didn't have my. I have. We had these black like wood pieces that we use for like indoor signs. We can also use them outside when the ground's too hard. I did not have those either, so I was really stressed about that, but I eventually got it done and it turned out good.

Speaker 1: 15:54

What do you think the business has taught you about resiliency and determination?

Speaker 3: 16:01

I think it's taught me to just push through, like, even when it's taught me to just push through, like even when it's really hard and you think you literally cannot put this sign, in which has happened a lot, I think it just made me realize to just like do it Even if it's hard, like just literally push through, like use your muscles, push through, and also mentally like I can do this. I've done it before, I can do it again also mentally like I can do this.

Speaker 2: 16:28

I've done it before, I can do it again. It came home after a sign one time and her hair was just all like disheveled. It was poofed up so big it was like I was hearing cnn through it. Her shirt is like hanging off her shoulder and I was like, oh my god, what happened to you? Like these are just signs. They're just like glorified poster board with like sticks on them. How, how did this happen? And she's just telling me the level of just calamity.

Speaker 2: 16:49

And she'd left the mallet at one person's house and had to go back and get it and backtrack. And then meanwhile sometimes we're under time constraints with our signs because they're trying to time them when people aren't home. So you've then got that pressure Okay, they're going to be back from the hospital in 30 minutes. I've got to get this sign in. And she walked in the door and she goes I quit, I'm not doing it anymore, I quit. And I was like Jingle's not an option. You are a business owner. We bought this franchise. We have a commitment to the bank first of all, and this is your long-term plan to fund your college. Like quitting is just not an option. And as soon as I said that to her, she like she rolled her shoulders back and she goes okay.

Speaker 2: 17:31

I pulled it together so I was really proud. I've been surprised to see I thought you would learn how to deal with customers. I thought you would learn how to put signs in. I was not expecting you to learn how to handle these kind of bumps in life at a smaller rate to kind of help prepare you for when the bumps happen at bigger rates.

Speaker 1: 17:52

Jillian, what do you think is the most surprising lesson that she's learned so far?

Speaker 2: 17:59

I would say confidence. She is very much a she likes to help people, which is very opposite than me. I'm a very much like rub some dirt on it and keep going, you're fine, but she will sit there and comfort, and but she's also kind of had to push through and say, okay, this is something I need to worry about at this moment, or this isn't something I need to worry about at this moment. And part of that has been kind of public speaking and engaging with folks, because a lot of times the customers will come out and talk to her while she's putting in the signs, or their kids will come out and talk to her and that would have just turned you into a pile of feathers a year ago. You would have just been like these adults are talking to me or this other kid is talking to me and I don't know them. And so to see you push through and then learn how to not only share your journey but help them on their journey, so often people will ask her hey, jane, how do you do this Like as a 17 year old, how do you do this?

Speaker 2: 18:52

And we're very lucky that our state is very welcoming to entrepreneurship and there is no age minimum to get your to get a 1099. So Jane was able to get her own 1099 and navigate that and then with her 1099, get a checking account and navigate that. And I just kind of sat back and I knew there was no risk for failure. If she failed it was not a big deal. So I was very comfortable sitting back and letting her kind of navigate these on her own. So she went to the bank. She opened her checking account on her own. So she went to the bank. She opened her checking account on her own. She now meets with our CFO once a month and they work through how they're going to handle the money and how they're going to put it into what's going to go into her personal checking account, what's going to stay in the business checking account, what portion is she going to pay back on her loan for this month and what portion is she going to keep for herself.

Speaker 2: 19:40

So it's been very nice to see you learn how to make those decisions and some of them have been hard because you had to come. You had to let go of a good bit of your personal savings, your babysitting money. You had to let go of a good bit of that at the beginning to help fund this, and I could see in your face you would much rather have taken that to Chipotle and eaten Chipotle for the rest of your life with that money. So I apologize, chipotle, that you missed out on some revenue, but you did it. I could see in your eyes you did not want to, but you did it. And then there was this sense of relief. Once you had done it you're like okay, I did the right thing. And I just don't think many 17-year-olds get an opportunity to make decisions like that.

Speaker 1: 20:18

Yeah, I don't think so either, so I got to flip it to you, jane. What did you think the biggest obstacle would be going in, and what was it actually?

Speaker 3: 20:46

were, but once. Well, also, we had so many signs we have 2100 signs so that was also a challenge to all bring back to our house and pick it up and all that. So that was a struggle. I was also really stressed, like putting all the signs up. We have these racks that we hang them up on, and that was the first moment I was like I don't know if I'm going to do this. You couldn't get the wraps together. Yeah, my dad had to put them all together and all that because I was not about to do that. Yeah, and also I did not want to wear a uniform.

Speaker 2: 21:19

What was our first big fight in the business?

Speaker 3: 21:22

I feel that yeah, we have these like green shirts that say card my yard and we have like a gray one, which is pretty cute, but I don't like the material for card my yarding. I did not want to wear that at all. I wanted to wear my own clothes because it was like comfortable in it and it's good for like summertime I guess.

Speaker 1: 21:44

And looking cute and looking cute. You don't have to think about it, it's pretty nice. I will say that I wear the same thing every day. That's pretty nice.

Speaker 3: 21:53

Yeah, I think that was probably the most.

Speaker 1: 21:57

Okay, yeah, that's good stuff. The next question I wanted to ask is kind of an expansion. Earlier you talked about the person that recovered from cancer, but what's?

Speaker 3: 22:10

one of them that you think made the most lasting impact on one of your signs. I think the most one would be the cancer one, probably Probably one of the most. We've had a lot of graduations, which is also very.

Speaker 2: 22:24

We've also had some soldiers.

Speaker 3: 22:26

That's been fun. Yes, we've done a coming home one from the Army. We just did a divorce one. I did a divorce one yesterday, I believe.

Speaker 1: 22:40

Which I thought was really impactful for the family. Was it well received.

Speaker 3: 22:48

I think so yeah.

Speaker 2: 22:52

The kids came out and talked to me. Yeah, they had happened because we utilized virtual assistants to help us, because I was very nervous with Jane having direct contact with the outside world, and so we utilized virtual assistants. So they check our portal, they get the orders, they call the customers, confirm the details and then text Jane each morning. Heck, here's your schedule, here's where you're putting in this sign here and you're picking up this sign here. So she's really just the execution arm of it, which is still helpful because that has to be done in person and so I don't even really watch that. And it's so, I hate to say well-oiled now, because now I'm jinxing it, let me knock on wood, but it's so well-oiled now the VAs know their part, jane does her part that I can come to Detroit and feel completely fine that it's going to still happen with our virtual assistants in the Philippines and Jane and Raleigh, and it's going to still happen.

Speaker 2: 23:39

I was sitting at dinner with some colleagues and they're asking about Jane. I pulled up on my phone and she always does a time-lapse video when she installs the sign and then we send that to the customer so they can have a memory, because you know how it is Oftentimes when you're living a very joyful moment or something that is a life milestone. You're so in it that you forget to document it. You forget to take a picture or video. So we realized our customers we got that feedback early on so we take the video. So I'm watching the video and I think it says C-I-V-A. What Okay?

Speaker 3: 24:13

And I spelled it out and I saw it wasn't her who came out I saw someone in the video, but it's so fast. There was a lot of people that she was having a divorce party and all her friends were there and her kid came out and he was like I want to help you. I was like, okay, you can put this sign over here. And he did not do that, but it was okay, he was cute. He was so sweet and I like talked to the kid and all that and like entertained him a little bit while the parents were like talking, while I was putting a sign up, and I had to like reconfigure the sign because the kid put them in like the weird spots. But it was fun.

Speaker 1: 24:45

I think they really liked it do you think that's the most surprising one?

Speaker 3: 24:51

I think so yeah, I think it's the most like whoa toughest sign you've had. Like I haven't had a divorce sign. Like I haven't seen anyone have a divorce party ever.

Speaker 2: 25:00

We had the other sign that it could be.

Speaker 3: 25:05

Yeah, we had someone. Um, this is when molly was my friend. Molly was helping me out while I was on vacation. She had to put up a it could be worse sign for someone's death, like one of the I think their dad died or something and they had they like celebrated. They have a celebration of life for him, like every year, and that's the sign that they picked, which is really interesting.

Speaker 1: 25:29

Wow, I was trying to rack my brain around the 2100, but now I see why there's 2100 because there's lots of different options. Well, that's a good transition to the next pillar. You could talk to about the time lapse and those meaningful memories. A lot of times we are not paying attention. The next one is creating meaningful memories. What are some of your favorite?

Speaker 3: 25:52

memories that you've created with friends or loved ones. I think, well, today I actually have a school dance that I'm going to, so that'll be fun. I'm going with all my friends and we're taking pictures. So that's one way. I'm going with all my friends and we're taking pictures. So that's one way I love taking pictures with my friends. I love dressing up and going out to dinner or stuff like that. I think that's really fun and I think just like getting out of the house. Jillian does not like getting out of the house.

Speaker 1: 26:15

She's out right now.

Speaker 3: 26:23

If I'm not out for work, I'm home. It's like, it's like one or the other.

Speaker 2: 26:25

Yeah, I thought you were gonna talk about your spring break. I thought you were gonna talk about your spring break, when, when you asked about, like a fun thing, that's the first thing that came to mind for me that you would talk well, yeah, um, we me and my three other friends went.

Speaker 3: 26:41

We got an Airbnb in South Carolina for our dog's reunion and my friends came along and I thought it was so fun. It was for a week, which is pretty long for a group of teenage girls, but I think we made so many memories and we all got really close, and it's the same girls I'm going with to the dance too, so yeah, where did the dog?

Speaker 3: 27:07

go. They have, we have a Boykin, we have two Boykin Spaniels and they have a Boykin Spaniel reunion in Boykin, south Carolina, every like springtime, um, and we usually go every year, so that's really fun interesting.

Speaker 1: 27:25

I did not know that I knew springer and cocker and a few other spaniels. I didn't didn't know that one. Okay, well, learn something new along the way. So the next question I had for you was do you think intentionality plays a role in making memories?

Speaker 3: 27:40

I think it does. When you're intentional about like for me, when I'm intentional about my signs, I'm passionate about it. I want it to look good, as good as possible, and I think that can show presenting the sign too. I think I can show the way it turns out and how my attitude towards them when they come out and they're like, oh, this sign's so good. Good, I think that can show too it shows reverence for the event.

Speaker 1: 28:08

You didn't just stick it in the ground I think that's like when you make food and people say, oh, it's like made with tlc, right, like you feel different about you know the people that are at the table, the food that you're eating, how you're going about the thing, the food or or the ingredients, I'm sure are not any different unless they're sweat drops in it or something weird, but for the most part it's. You know the memories of things you're doing together and so that made with TLC, you know, probably not a real thing, but you do feel different, some of those things of the intentionality and you know spending the time and I'm sure, like you know you've mentioned a few different times you wanted a certain way and the fluffs have to be in a certain spot and things like that. Taking the time, I'm sure it goes a long way and you know people recognize that. So the last question in this pillar is how can people create meaningful moments in their everyday lives, even with a busy schedule?

Speaker 3: 29:00

I think again like just small things, um, like having a conversation with someone, like taking like a little pause out of your day just to like either have a moment for yourself or for me. I like, I like people, so I usually just like talk to my friends or just like have a moment for myself, or I'm just like there for me and other people and I find joy in that.

Speaker 1: 29:26

Yeah, I think that's an important reminder. It's come up on the show a couple of times that I think you know, even though it's reiterating something that's been repeated. It's just important. I think a lot of times we want these Herculean efforts, these large things, and it's like if you don't do something huge, you're not going to do anything at all. But these large things and it's like if you don't do something huge, you're not going to do anything at all. But I think that's missing the point. I think it is the smiles and the things you just don't know, like I always loved that one. You don't know what battles others are fighting. So you know you hold the door for someone or something that seems pretty insignificant, but you know they just lost somebody like we talked about earlier or something like that. That's just enough to be like, hey, I can get through this and things like that, even though it seems really small to you. Jillian, what's your most meaningful memory throughout the last year?

Speaker 2: 30:10

I had to pick up where you were and I was thinking about this yesterday because I'm traveling for work, so we're in conferences all day and it's freezing cold, and I came back to my room and I was really tired and I hear this knock on the door and I'm like who's here? I've been with people all day. This is yeah, and it was room service had delivered deviled eggs, and I know that may not be kind of to your point about. We think as adults, especially when we grow older, we have bigger checking accounts and we have bigger desires. Like you know, she could have sent me a gift certificate for a rich Carllton in florida and that would have been great. But the deviled eggs I love deviled egg and we were just having that conversation earlier. But the bigger thing is it made me feel seen and really heard because we had spoke about it. She took her, she took enough time and care to remember that I mentioned that I like deviled eggs and then she also took the time and care to perceive that I was just drained, like my soul, soul was tired and I just needed something to kind of go oh, someone recognize, someone you know, and so the little deviled eggs really brighten my day. The other thing that happened about a couple months ago and kind of going back to our story about just as adults I think we can get so caught up in okay, I've got to go to this at 1030, this at 12, this at so caught up in okay, I've got to go to this at 1030, this at 12, this at and I try to take inspiration from my dogs, who just smell poop and are happy, you know it kind of just putting in those small things and finding joy in the everyday.

Speaker 2: 31:31

And this lady was in front of me in line and she had on this, really like not an outfit I would have worn, but I could tell it was like when she put that on this morning that morning in the mirror and she saw herself, she was like, yeah, world, we are coming and we are coming in hot and she just had this and I wanted her to know she was seen and it was. So I gave her a compliment and you should have seen her face. It was just she was smiling anyway because she was already loving her outfit. But to hear confirmation and to be seen from someone else a total stranger she was like thank you, I got this shirt first and then I found the skirt in the same fabric two years later in Louisiana and she tells me this you could tell she wanted to share that story, and so often we don't take the time to hear people's stories or to let them kind of share with what they have going on, but the power of a compliment yeah.

Speaker 1: 32:21

And I think, like you said, really connecting with the minor things. It's funny today my wife got something that I had mentioned, you know, a little bit ago and I just mentioned it as an offhanded compliment not compliment but request and I guess not request, but I had mentioned something about, you know, washing my hair and I was like, oh, I love one of those things that like gets down to the scalp. I was like, oh, you know, like when you're washing your hair, you just never really get down there. And then you know, a couple of months had gone by and then today she popped a thing in the shower that actually does that and the thing is probably, I'm sure, like five dollars. It's silicone, whatever. So the dollar amount, you know, that doesn't really matter, but it's like she heard it, like you had said about the deviled eggs and being able to connect and like, oh, yeah, make a note of that, go and get it, or maybe she saw it or whatever.

Speaker 1: 33:06

But it is interesting how the smaller things we want them to be huge, but I think the smaller things are actually probably in a lot of different cases. But yeah, the last pillar we have for you guys is helping your friends. So, jane, what drives you to want to help others? Where does that come from?

Speaker 3: 33:28

I don't know. I just have always just wanted to help, like my friends. If they're ever going through something like I, always let them know they can always talk to me Like giving them like advice, and all that I think can really help too.

Speaker 2: 33:43

Why don't you talk about last night and our dogs, since I wasn't home?

Speaker 3: 33:51

Yeah, I currently have no parents at home right now.

Speaker 2: 33:53

I'm glad that it won't be our own version of Macaulay Culkin.

Speaker 1: 33:56

Is there a pizza on the ceiling back there?

Speaker 2: 33:58

I know I was looking too, because I could tell she was in her room and I was like are there clothes on the floor?

Speaker 3: 34:07

let me say my room is very clean right now. I just want to put that the rest of the house, um yeah, last night I slept in my parents bed, which was really nice. I liked dog. She's 15 and she has dementia and we give her like medicine before bed and she usually gets all like groggy, like she falls asleep like she, she's chill. But last night she woke me up at 1 am and 3 am and 6 am and I took her out three times during the night with my other dog and I don't really know it was.

Speaker 1: 34:59

I was proud of you, because you could have easily not done that and no one would have known. Yes, doing what's right when no one is looking.

Speaker 2: 35:07

Jillian always done that, always helped from the very beginning. She has always had a servant's heart. I developed one over life, but I was not born with one, but she has always been. Even as a child she was quiet in the corner, always watching and listening and picking up. She loved babies and animals and if there was a little bug outside she'd make sure it wasn't in the road. And I'm like everybody can fend for themselves, it'll be fine. There's a plan for everybody and every creature. But she just has always had that.

Speaker 2: 35:35

I'm just from the beginning or worrying about oh, that person has peanut butter and crackers, I have jelly, I should share my jelly with them. I would never be that perceptive to check other people out and say, hey, let me share some jelly with them. And I was so glad when she shared that she wanted to be a nurse, because we need nurses, just like you in the medical field. And that is not me Unplug someone's medical device to charge my phone. I am just not the right person. But it reminded me how us being different is what makes life so exciting and also makes a place for everybody, and I'm glad that Jane is that place for babies and for the elderly.

Speaker 2: 36:12

She goes before COVID. She would go to. We have a nursing home in the front of our neighborhood and she would go with our dog when she was like 10 at the time to the nursing home and she would just put her in the bed with the folks in the nursing home and let her pet them and Jane would hear their stories. And you had one lady who would tell you her name every day Hi, I'm Rose. I am Rose.

Speaker 2: 36:34

That's all she would say Jane was so cool. She goes oh hi, Rose, I'm Jane and so it's not something that most because you had to been 11 at that time, if I'm thinking correctly, Most 11 year olds don't say hey, will you drive me and our dog to the local nursing home so I can visit with the residents there? It was just not, it was unexpected, but I could. It's so genuine for how she sees the world.

Speaker 1: 36:58

Yeah, I think that's another really good reminder too of how we're all built differently. A couple weeks ago, two Saturdays ago, I was off at an offsite for training. That was some other things, but you know that all comes together. You wouldn't want a team of the same person. The team would get nothing done. Or maybe they get one thing done really well and then nothing else done at all. Um, so that's a really good point. So I was curious, jane, how has you know that connection and your mindset really shaped your relationships? Does everyone just flood to you, or how does that look like in your friend circle?

Speaker 3: 38:09

a lot of my friends like, if anything happens, they usually just like come to me to talk about it, um, and I just like I'm there for them, like I just listen to them, like sometimes you just don't even have to say anything, you just like have to be, there and just listen you share about your recent ex-boyfriend and you had to kind of deal with some uh, I don't want to say jealousy, but it's not.

Speaker 2: 38:36

The communications were not things that most 17 year olds talk about in their relationship breakup.

Speaker 3: 38:42

Have you record my yard business, oh yeah so, yeah, he, he would usually come with me to do my signs because, like, I would usually have a sign every day and he would always text me to be like, do we have a sign today? Like we always do signs like when I'm with you? Well, yeah, because that's like my job, like sorry. And then when we broke up, he was like I didn't want to tell you this, but I was always jealous of like your business and like how much money you had and like what you're like accomplishing now and stuff, and I was like, oh, okay, thank you.

Speaker 1: 39:28

I guess that's interesting, didn't he want to? You know, succeed alongside you, huh that's what I said I was.

Speaker 2: 39:36

I was shocked. I said that that's the 17 year old's mindset for you, versus a 27 year old, and then like let me hitch my cart to this pony, but insteadyear-old's like I'm jealous of you, I don't want to be your friend anymore. Yeah guys don't develop until like 25.

Speaker 1: 39:55

So you know we take a little bit longer, we're a little slower on the upkeep. You know we got to catch up at some point. I was curious with you know you were talking about sitting with people. I'd love if you could just, you know, maybe reiterate or even expand. I think when people sit with people and they need to be there for them, they're like I'm not sure what to say. But could you talk a little bit more with that empathy, being able to connect with people and, you know, take a load off, you know what they're going through.

Speaker 3: 40:21

I think just like, if they say something like try to find something to relate to that kind of like, just being there, Like I don't really know, Just being there and being like oh I'm so sorry this happened, but like here's like, and then giving them advice to like move forward with it.

Speaker 2: 40:49

Like not just like Oftentimes, you would just just listen.

Speaker 3: 40:51

you would just listen to their stories yeah, just like listening to, like what happens, and not all the time you have to have something to say. You can just be present. And that's like I think being present is also one of my love languages, because I think just being there, like just doing anything with someone, like I could be going to the grocery store with my friend, and that's still fun for me.

Speaker 1: 41:16

Quality time.

Speaker 3: 41:17

Yeah, that's a good one yeah.

Speaker 1: 41:21

I think that's a really good reminder. I keep saying reminder, but these are all really good reminders. I think that's important to be able to sit with someone. I think a lot of times we want to try to solve it. We want to try to relate. I think relating is good in some cases, but sometimes people are like no, it's about me right now. I know I struggle with that because that's how I connect with people. So I try to relate and they're like, oh yeah, but it's not about you. I'm like, no, no, I'm not saying it's about me, but that's how I connect. So I think it's good to try to know your audience.

Speaker 1: 41:48

I think everything's a little bit different. There's, I think, a lot of times we want like cookie cutter for a lot of things, like one thing that'll work for everything, and humans are crazy and we're all over the place, so you can't really have something that works for everything. The last question I want to have in this one, before we start to move close out a little bit, is when you're taking on, you know some of that stuff what do you do to take care of yourself? You can't take. You know all of those situations and that maybe negativity in all the time. What do you do to take care of yourself?

Speaker 3: 42:20

Well, me and my friend Molly, we've been friends since like basically birth, so I think we have a really good relationship where, like, we can both share our own stuff that's going on, but also like being there for each other and like knowing when it's that person's time to talk and like have their own stuff and like having like boundaries and stuff like that that's good.

Speaker 1: 42:45

I remember my first assignment as a newly commissioned officer. I had a terrible year. It was not fun, it was not what I thought it was going to be and so a little bit of sticker shock. But a guy that I used to work with we'd go to Starbucks and it's something I think I mentioned on the show before, but it has nothing to do with the coffee or tea, but being in the car, venting, processing, like you know. Maybe we'd get out of the car and not ever mentioned what we talked about ever again. You know, sometimes we did try to give solutions to each other, but that afternoon passion fruit, lemonade or whatever it may be was like the best and it was really because of the car ride, not because of the destination. So it's always good to have that person to be able to, to get some stuff off your chest and really be able to vent. Do you have anything else on?

Speaker 2: 43:29

that, jillian, I thought you were going to say TJ Maxx was your self-care.

Speaker 3: 43:35

Oh, I love shopping. I love TJ Maxx, yeah, tj Maxx. I think shopping is.

Speaker 1: 43:41

Have you made one of those videos where you're looking for really weird stuff? Those are so fun.

Speaker 3: 43:46

I'm looking for santa in a donut. I have done one of those where I went like thrifting with my friend and we bought like ugly, outfits and stuff. Yeah, I also think, like when I'm on my way to doing a sign, I think just like having moments to myself, like just driving, like being in the car, listening to music is also therapeutic too yeah, music can hit.

Speaker 1: 44:12

Oh, so many different things. We used to have songs on our myspace before you, jane, but myspace used to tell exactly how you were feeling. Used to be an awesome programmer in basic html. Well, the last question. We're going to try to bring everything together, so both of you got to answer this one. If someone wanted to start living a life centered around joy, connection and kindness today, what's one simple step they should take?

Speaker 3: 44:39

You want to go, liz, I'll let you cover. I think being open-minded can help and just always having a smile like even if you're having a rough day, just like a smile, can also help other people, but can also help you and change your mindset, I would say take the time to be vulnerable with yourself, to get to know yourself, to know what you want, and I say that because I was 29, a couple of times in a row.

Speaker 2: 45:11

Before I did that, I was living the persona of what the world wanted me to be, and so so many people thought I was an extrovert because I would be the first one out, the last one home and the first one to step up and public speak. And in reality I was truly introverted, but I'd never taken the time and the first one to step up and public speak. And in reality I was truly introverted, but I'd never taken the time and the silence with myself to have the uncomfortable conversations with myself to discover that. And then, once I discovered that, then that's when the work starts. That's when you have to hold yourself accountable, to say yes to things that bring you joy and no to things that don't, and be okay with the ramifications of both of those. That okay is there. If I say no to this because my heart doesn't want me to do it, what's the outcomes, the pro and the con of that? And then, equally, doing something like with my business moving into a software as a service. That just felt so right in my heart. But if I I hadn't have taken the time to get to know myself and to do that, I would have never arrived at that place to feel confident to do that. So I really encourage and I'm glad that Jane has had a chance to do that.

Speaker 2: 46:17

I don't think it's consciously. You didn't do it. I did it very purposely, very consciously, but you did it almost accidentally because you were just with that child naivety. You wanted to go to the nursing home. You wanted to do the babies at church I know someone has to watch the babies during church and I am so appreciative that Jane and folks like her will do that so that we can't. But you know that about yourself and you take action on it versus going, my peers aren't doing this or someone else. My friend group isn't going to the nursery. I don't want to go to the nursery. You're honest to yourself. So it would be either know who you are with childhood naivety or take the time as an adult to discover and then just be honest and hold yourself accountable.

Speaker 1: 46:58

That's so good too. Yeah, it's definitely good to be genuine. You can only fake it for so long. I remember, like I mentioned earlier, I was enlisted and I crossed over to be an officer. So I moved into, like the leadership role and I remember when I did that I was like I'm going to be stern and strict, I'm moving into a leadership position, I need to be hard, I need to be these things, and that lasted for I don't know, like six months and I'm like I'm still going to be goofy crazy. You know it's just the way that you are, so the faster you just embrace it and be okay with it. I have struggled from time to time with that little bit of weirdness, but we're all made a little bit different. You know there's a reason for a little bit different. So embrace it, be real and, you know, move on. You can worry about what other people are thinking, but it's not going to help too much. So luckily, jane's got it figured out 17. She, she knows who she is and she's going to be a wonderful nurse. Well, thank you, jane and Julian.

Speaker 1: 47:48

I appreciate you guys coming out. Please join the conversation. Connect with us on any of the social media platforms. Got all of them pretty much, except for X. And then let me know how things are going on the podcast. Anywhere you listen to podcasts Spotify, apple or whatnot we're building a community and your voice matters. I love you all. See ya, thank you.