From Being Kidnapped Three Times to Life Coach: A Journey of Healing and Empowerment w/ Cheyenne Zoelle

Cheyenne Zoelle shares her powerful journey from surviving multiple kidnappings and childhood abuse to becoming a certified life coach, author, and spiritual guide helping others find their inner strength. She reveals how reverse engineering her desired life and consistently taking small steps toward healing transformed her from a trauma victim to an empowered individual focused on growth and service.

• Survivor of multiple kidnappings who transformed trauma into a purpose-driven life
• Challenging the belief that self-help is selfish - putting yourself first enables you to show up better for others
• Weight loss journey as a physical manifestation of spiritual and emotional transformation
• The importance of identifying harmful patterns from childhood that may be unconsciously recreated in adulthood
• Distinction between confidence (internal feeling) and empowerment (taking action)
• Processing trauma includes acknowledging victim feelings before moving beyond them
• Strength defined as showing up consistently even when it's difficult
• Small, consistent steps create more lasting change than waiting for motivation or attempting dramatic transformations
• Finding balance between pushing through difficulty and pausing to heal through honoring emotions

Find Cheyenne's book "Unbreakable: A Chilling Memoir of Survival, Multiple Kidnappings and a Search for Justice" on Amazon, and connect with her on social media platforms including Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok.

https://mindforcepodcast.buzzsprout.com

Chapters

• 1:30 Introduction to Cheyenne's Journey
• 5:08 Surviving Multiple Kidnappings
• 8:45 Self-Help Without the Fluff
• 17:20 Breaking Harmful Patterns
• 25:50 Turning Pain into Power
• 32:14 Finding Strength in Trauma
• 40:00 The Gift of a Well-Lived Life

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:02

Thank you. Hi everyone, I'm Nate Shearer, and this is Mindforce, where we dive into the moments that shape us, challenge us and strengthen us. Whether you're building yourself back up or building yourself from scratch, this episode is for you. Today, we'll be talking about why self-help isn't selfish, what real empowerment looks like in tough times and how to stay strong when the world feels a little too much. Let's dive into a conversation that might just shift something inside of you. So let's start with the guest introduction. I'd love for you to introduce yourself in your own words. Who are you, what's important to you right now and what brought you to this moment in your journey?

Speaker 2: 1:43

Thank you. I'm Cheyenne Sowell and I apologize about my cat in the background. I am a certified life coach and I am somebody who has really experienced situations that could either make me or break me such as surviving multiple kidnappings, surviving an abusive childhood and surviving horrific religious trauma and I had found my inner strength and have been able to come out the other side. I run a weekly self-help spiritual group for over eight years. I have published a book talking about my life and also I am in college right now to become a therapist.

Speaker 1: 2:20

That's awesome. Well, thank you for taking the time. The most precious commodity is taking time, and always good when we're taking time to help others. And just out of curiosity, where in the world are you joining us from?

Speaker 2: 2:32

The Pacific Northwest.

Speaker 1: 2:34

Nice, where at I'm from Vancouver.

Speaker 2: 2:36

Wonderful. I'm in Oregon.

Speaker 1: 2:39

Nice, where at?

Speaker 2: 2:41

Well, I'm near the coast.

Speaker 1: 2:43

Nice, that's awesome. Yeah, I have lived in Pendleton, klamath Falls, portland, wow, salem Kaiser. Anyway, yeah, I've lived all over Oregon, not quite on the coast, but it's a good time. So we'll move on into the warm-up. The warm-up is what's a small habit or mindset shift you've made that's made a huge difference in your life.

Speaker 2: 3:07

That is a great question. Something that I heard, and I absolutely love it, is to think about what it is that you want to accomplish, whether it's in your life, your career, your relationships. Think about what that is and then reverse engineer it, and it almost is along the lines of manifestation. I'm a big advocate of spirituality, I'm a non-denominational spiritualist and I'm a big fan of energy work. I believe that the world is very fluid, and there's a statement that I really would love to share, and it is the universe will play with you as much as you will play with it, and that I believe, at least in my own experience, to be incredibly true. The more I put out into the universe, the more things had started to really shift and transform for me.

Speaker 1: 3:59

That's awesome. Okay, well, that is the warm up. I think we have the three main pillars, which we always do, but I think for your episode, I think we have the three main pillars which we always do, but I think for your episode, I think we need a little bit of foundation. Since you talked about the kidnapping Not that we're going to get through the whole story because, like you said, it's a big book and a lot of different things going on but could you kind of lay the foundation for maybe the initial one and then we can start to dive into the question, just so we kind of understand. That's a heavy thing to kind of throw out and not kind of explain. You know the initial, so could you walk us through I don't know the you know five-minute rundown of what that looks like to be kidnapped? Wow, that sounds really odd.

Speaker 2: 4:40

Absolutely so. In order to lay that foundation down, I would have to share just a quick overview of my childhood. My childhood, unfortunately, was a childhood of darkness. In fact, I had a therapist tell me once I almost connected with the darkness in the sense that I had allowed myself to be in very dangerous situations as a young adult and with the first kidnapping it was from a stranger. I was taken from a bar and taken to a motel room and it was not a pleasant experience. After that I ended up getting kidnapped three more times by another individual and I go over more detail in the book. Those kidnappings were quite horrific. I was threatened, I was drugged and I was forced to post her photos on these other kidnappings and it's because of these strange experiences that I really was able to really reevaluate life. So that is a quick overview of the kidnappings.

Speaker 1: 5:51

Like I, said, my book goes into a lot more detail of it, but for the sake of the show, that is the general overview. Okay, that's perfect.

Speaker 2: 5:58

Now I'd love to flip the mic real quick before we get into the three pillars and wanted to see if you had a question for me, absolutely With this podcast being one of advocacy and inner growth, transformation and mental health, I would love to hear about you, know what are your plans for continuing to give back to the communities that you advocate for?

Speaker 1: 6:24

the career field that I'm in right now, after I'd been through a couple different jobs and done a lot, of, a lot of different things I've slung tires, sold cars, done swim lessons, all over the board and so I nearly missed the chance to do what I do now and I really find like that's my purpose and I love getting up in the morning and you know all those cheesy things that people say, but I love what I do hospital administration. So I actually pass out of blood and needles, so I can't do the front side of the house, all the patient care type stuff. But helping people has always been something that's super important to me. So now I get to help people. I'm on the backside of the clinic, but anything from insurance, computers, phones, you know, pharmaceuticals, like anything, insurance, all those things that make a hospital run I get to help out and know I'm taking care of patients and things like that. So one thing I do is I have a mentorship page on Facebook where I help people, try to find it, work their way through the process and end up where I am because I nearly missed my chance and I would be devastated if I wasn't doing what I was doing.

Speaker 1: 7:18

So try to help out and you know I love seeing people accomplish goals they never thought possible. So that's another thing I do. I guess it's not quite the same, but another thing of helping out and reaching other people, and for this I mean anyone that can help along the way. All the time and effort we put in, if it helps a single person is always worth it. So we'll keep making shows and, you know, having the real conversations, but we'll move into the first pillar for you, which is self-help, without the fluff. So can you tell a time when you realized you had to help yourself because no one was coming?

Speaker 2: 7:52

Yes, actually this situation has happened multiple times, but I'd like to tell you a couple, if that's okay.

Speaker 1: 8:01

Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 8:02

First time was actually after my first kidnapping. I came to and I was in the boonies of California and my phone was dead and I had to walk along the highway by myself. And that was one of those situations where I couldn't call for Uber. There's no one around me. I had to advocate for myself, in the sense of I have to get up. I had to walk for a really long time. Thankfully I go over in more detail I did find a savior in that situation, but for a period I did have to really take control of that situation because I didn't have a phone.

Speaker 2: 8:35

But the main one that I would really like to share is, for me, my weight loss journey was also something of transformation I had, due to the, you know, surviving all of these traumas. After I had survived everything, I ended up becoming morbidly obese, and that was something that I had to. I looked at myself and I no longer recognized myself and it wasn't really just vanity, it was really wanting to take care of my health and for me, I found an inner drive and an inner love for myself through diet, through exercise, and that was something that was very transformative to me, not just physically losing a tremendous amount of weight, but also spiritually and emotionally. I had to do that for myself. Nobody was going to come and have me go to the gym and I really am a big advocate for how the was going to come and have me go to the gym and I really am a big advocate for how the mind, body and soul are interconnected.

Speaker 1: 9:36

Yeah, so I'm curious, you know, when people make transitions and make those changes and whatnot. I think one thing that I love on this show is trying to get after the actionable things. I think a lot of times you read books and whatnot. It's hypotheticals, but can you walk us through, like so you said you were looking in the mirror, didn't recognize yourself. What were the actual steps to get there? Like, I think a lot of times people want, like, these big shifts and Herculean changes and it's going to happen overnight. But what did it actually look like? As you, you know, made that transition.

Speaker 2: 10:02

I had looked around my life and I saw okay, I'm morbidly obese. Right now I'm essentially homeless. I'm sleeping on somebody's couch in their basement. They don't even want me there. My health had completely failed. I was so sickly all the time and I had, you know, I allowed these past traumas that I write my book about really overtake me, and it was realizing my gosh, I can't live like this anymore. I cannot.

Speaker 2: 10:29

So even when I felt ill and I felt like I was going to pass out, I still forced myself to go to the gym.

Speaker 2: 10:35

I still forced myself to diet and it was really that oomph. And while I was going to the gym, I was listening to all of these self-help podcasts and all these podcasts on spirituality and it was really my mind, body and soul interconnecting and my health started to improve and the weight started to slip off of me. And then I went back to my weight that I was in my early 20s and life started to shift. I went from being like a triple X to being a size medium. It was really just being consistent and continuing to have that goal in mind, and it's so funny how the universe works, because if you had told me at that point, when I was a morbidly obese, homeless person who had survived multiple kidnappings, whose health had failed, that I would become a certified life coach, a published author, and go back to college to become a therapist and run a weekly spiritual self-help group for over eight years. I wouldn't believe to.

Speaker 1: 11:32

But, I did. Yeah, isn't that wild. So I'm curious how did you take that and make that transition? So you did that, you did the transition. Were there ever any times where you had any setbacks or any difficulties, or was that a pretty easy and smooth process once you started?

Speaker 2: 11:50

Yeah, there were definitely setbacks. In fact, I write in my book a situation happened and I gained all of the weight back and I had to work very hard to lose all of the weight again and I had to really remember why I did it in the first place. Something that I really feel is important is to address this lie that I feel a lot of people have been raised to believe, and that is it is selfish to put yourself first. And by putting myself first, I have found the truth, and the truth is that our lives are ours to live, and when you remember why you do something in the first place and it is for your benefit and your benefit only it makes you more committed to it. So once I was able to really remember, I lost the weight for me, I focused on my healing for me, I was able to lose the weight again and I was able to remember what is my purpose and something that I think is really important that I have been blessed to discover in my own journey, because I have been from the bottom of the barrel. I have been stuck in the woods, kidnapped, forced to urinate outside by a deranged kidnapper to being a certified life coach on podcast. Like I said in school to be a therapist, I have seen almost both sides of the spectrum and I can tell you that the more you put in yourself in quote unquote being selfish, the farther along you will get. You can still put yourself first and be a loving and kind individual.

Speaker 2: 13:18

And so once I remembered I'm doing this for me and I can still be kind and love others, but have boundaries and really solely focus on myself and my happiness, then the steps started moving and then I would feel more drawn to weight loss. I felt more drawn to writing my book. I felt more drawn into becoming a life coach. I felt more drawn into doing the things that were really meant for me. Something I love to say is and I get this from my friend, she's amazing it's listen to the call upon your spirit. If your spirit says, hey, do this, you get that intuition. For me it was constantly write this book, you need to write your book, you need to go back to school. Once I started listening to that call upon my spirit, really things started to open up.

Speaker 1: 14:05

Yeah, that makes sense. So for self-help, what does that actually look like?

Speaker 2: 14:13

for you on a regular Tuesday, not when things are falling apart. I love that question, so I remind myself sometimes, even daily, I'm going to put myself first, whatever that looks like. For me, that would be doing some cardio on a Tuesday. Last night I did some beautiful energy work and I just connected with my higher power and I did some cleansing work. I also, you know, took myself on an hour and a half long walk. I made a cup of tea.

Speaker 2: 14:40

Sometimes it's the simple things and I think that when you have big transformation and I say big in the sense that I am not bragging, I am in fact showing that transformation is possible A lot of times it really is a journey of taking these small steps. I didn't wake up one day of a healthy BMI and a published author and certified life coach. I didn't wake up that way. No, it started off with the small steps of okay, I'm going to take care of myself. Hmm, I'm going to skip dessert. You know, I really like listening to music. I'm going to dance every day and get my body moving. I don't like how this person makes me feel I'm going to cut them out of my life. And when you start taking these smaller steps. You really are opening the door for a larger transformation.

Speaker 1: 15:30

That's something that's super important. Yeah, just absolutely reminder, underline you know, highlight that note, and I think it really is just the smaller things. You put your shoes out the night before, you know, make sure you're going to go for a walk or whatever. I think just too often we don't do anything because we want the first thing to be the big thing, which doesn't make any sense. That's not how it works. You've got to eat the elephant, one bite at a time and you know, get to those things.

Speaker 1: 15:58

You can ask all these different famous people, athletes, business, you know, whatever category, they didn't wake up and you know, I think a lot of times we see things now on social media and it's just difficult because you see all the wins. You don't see all the difficult things along the way. You know, you see the vacations and the good stuff. You know I mentioned, I think, on the show before, but I always love the reference of WD-40. There was 30, other 39 other recipes that were terrible, but they got to the 40th and it was perfect and now it's in every household in the world and you always have that blue and yellow can in your thing. But if they would have given up on 37 or 38, we would never know what that is. So I don't know. Sometimes you have to just keep pushing on.

Speaker 1: 16:40

One thing I'm curious and I don't know how to ask it. I don't want it to come across like rude or anything, but I'm curious. A lot of people would get stuck in the victim mindset and you had very traumatic and a lot of things happen. I feel like you'd have every right to be like oh, you know I'm defeated, but what do you have? You know? Advice for someone that has been through difficult things where how do they get out of that mindset where it's like, yeah, the world's kind of against me?

Speaker 2: 17:06

Honestly, we'll say something that might be surprising or shocking, and I would say it's okay to have that victim mindset, at least for a while. For years I had that victim mindset. Absolutely, it's okay to process your trauma, it's okay to be angry, it's okay to cry, it's okay to feel like, yeah, things are awful, I did not deserve that. But this is the important thing to remember is that when you are able to say, hey, I'm going to shift my thinking Rather than thinking all this stuff is horrible and happening to me and I'm the one who you know, I'm the victim, etc. When you start to think, okay, I survived this, whether it's, you know, something as simple as maybe being yelled at at a family gathering, even though that, you know, I'm sure would be traumatic or something not as traumatic as what I experienced, one thing you can do is say, okay, I survived that and then also take a little bit of responsibility, if you have any responsibility in that situation. Not everybody has a responsibility in those types of situations, especially if you're a child, but if you can, but if you have any responsibility, recognizing that and also taking a little bit of ownership in that also is a bit empowering because it allows you to change your thinking a little bit and say, okay, these are the patterns that have brought me to this point where I feel like a victim, which, like I said, is okay to feel that way, at least for a period.

Speaker 2: 18:34

You don't want to be in that victim mindset forever. But then when you take that responsibility and you can even say, even if you have a zero ownership in that situation, you know I'm gonna take responsibility for how I feel now and I'm gonna shift it and I'm gonna say I survived this. I am somebody who can be empowered. That also is really helpful. So I would really say say it's okay to feel that way, but don't be stuck in that way. Process your emotions. And then this is something that I think is very key you have all this energy around you and I know I'm gonna sound very woo-woo here you have all this energy, this emotion stirring around you. If you stay in that victim mentality, it's going to be like just a circular motion and it's not really going to transition. So when you are able to, hey, I'm going to have this energy and I'm going to have this emotion around it, irregardless might as well spin it on its head and be productive. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1: 19:33

Yeah, absolutely. You mentioned the word patterns. I wonder did you identify patterns that you were putting yourself into and how did you identify and move on from some of those patterns that maybe weren't the most positive for you?

Speaker 2: 19:59

a little bit in this interview. I had that default, almost due to my horrifically abusive upbringing, that I deserve some sort of chaos, I deserve to be around some sort of darkness. And this is really what my subconscious was telling me, because the average person does not get kidnapped four times within a year, but I did. It's a miracle that I survived those. Truly, I believe in a higher power because I survived those, but because I had grown up with such toxicity, such toxicity my mother, would you know, lock me in a room for months on end Like terrible, terrible things happened. I had developed that pattern of okay, I've always been really around an unsafe individual one way or another. This chaos and drama, everything has just, you know, been around me so much that I kind of gravitated toward that in a strange way. So I was subconsciously, I think, putting myself in these dangerous situations. And then, for the man who kidnapped me, three times out of the four, there was that horrifically manipulative dance between us, where this is somebody who I had gotten into a relationship with, a very charming, very gorgeous individual who turned out to be a very toxic individual, and, looking back, there's patterns between him and my mother. My mother used to drug me as a child, against my will. She would give me her drugs. This man drugged me when he kidnapped me. I was horrifically abused by both. So there was this pattern, I feel. My mother isolated me and told me she was the only one who loved me. This man told me he was the only one who loved me and, being 21 years old and just a kid still at that age, I believed it. So there was a lot of these different situations and I want to clarify something A lot of times, when people hear that one of the men who kidnapped me was actually somebody I was in a relationship with, a lot of people think, well, it's not that bad then.

Speaker 2: 22:04

And I'm telling you, he was the one who threatened me with a weapon and drugged me and, you know, took trophies, and he's the one that we think is a serial killer, possible serial killer. So there was a lot in there and it was these patterns. Like, looking back from a healthier point of view, I can see, oh wow, he acted just like the male version of my childhood abuser. So I feel like these were the patterns that drew me in and I'm glad that I can recognize these patterns now and say for myself I would never, ever allow myself to be around that individual or anybody else like that, Because I believe your life is so sacred you don't want to taint it with people who are not good for your spirit. And if I had just had that self-confidence, that self-love to say, hey, if you have any dark energy on you, I'm not going to be around you, I would have never been kidnapped.

Speaker 1: 22:59

But that's what I grew up with.

Speaker 2: 23:01

So now that I recognize these patterns, I can break them.

Speaker 1: 23:06

That's good. Yeah, I think it's just wildly interesting how, you know, depending on how we were, you know, raised and I guess, back to caveman or whatnot. I don't, you know, have a doctorate degree or anything, but it's interesting. Back to what we feel safe with. It seems like we would take what is familiar, even potentially unsafe, over unfamiliar. It's kind of crazy sometimes where your body and mind kind of overpower you and maybe do something counterintuitive, something familiar. You're like, oh OK, well, it's familiar, maybe not positive or helpful, but at least it was familiar, that's kind of interesting that your body would put you in that situation.

Speaker 1: 23:46

The last question in self-help is what's a resource, book, practice or moment that really changed the game for you?

Speaker 2: 23:56

That is a beautiful question. I saw my life as it was and I saw two pathways before me. I saw myself turning into somebody like my mother, you know, becoming morbidly obese, becoming an addict, allowing just chaos and drama to fill my life, and becoming somebody who has a really dark spirit around them within them, so to speak. And I saw another path of my life, which was a life of beauty, a life where I could travel around Europe, where I could marry a handsome, good man and raise my children and write my books and go back to college and finish my degree and be completely living in the life that I feel I deserve, the life that I really wanted. Let me say that because I had to want it before I realized that I deserve it and I realized why not? Why not me? Why can't I travel around Europe? Why can't I marry a good man and have a beautiful family?

Speaker 2: 24:57

And once I was able to see that and figured either way I'm going to live life, I can either live it on a path of darkness where I allow all this trauma to eat me up, or I can live it in a life that honors me, a life that I truly want, and it goes back to that reverse engineering. I saw the life that I wanted and I said, okay, okay, this is what I'm going to go for, because, really, this is the life that we have. We are in the present moment. I might as well give myself the greatest gift that I can, and that is really taking that power, power that had been taken from me by my mother, by the men who kidnapped me, and say to myself okay, I'm going to take back power, I'm going to take back control and I'm going to say I'm going to live the life that I want and I just started walking down that path.

Speaker 1: 25:47

Yeah, that's good stuff. I think it's just really awesome on the show, you know, having people on here and sharing stories and whatnot, because it feels like for humans we will put up with a lot of like discomfort, as long as it's not too much discomfort for a really long time. A job we don't like, a marriage we don't like, you know, fill in the blank, one of these things for a really long time, and so I love you coming on the show and other guests coming on and you know showing you. We've had people on here that started a new career at 50 or you know these things like, oh, you're not supposed to do that, we're going to do it, you know.

Speaker 1: 26:20

Obviously, you know set yourself up and don't. You know YOLO and go crazy and lose all your money and whatnot. You know everything within balance. But, uh, I love sharing the stories where you know you really got to do what's right for you and you never know what's going to happen. So your next pillar is empowerment from the inside out, and I love stories. So I'll try to throw out a couple more story questions. This one's what's? A story where you turn pain into power.

Speaker 2: 26:46

I feel that that is something that has been a continual element that I've had to address, where there was the pain of my abusive childhood. And I find power, knowing that with my own future children, that I'm going to give them that beautiful, safe, loving, nurturing childhood, that I never had Something along those lines of I went to college to become a preschool teacher and I was a very good preschool teacher. Of I went to college to become a preschool teacher and I was a very good preschool teacher and I am proud to say that my students did very well academically. They performed above, you know, the norm, I'm proud to say, because I was able to pour in love and light to children. I've always loved children and I am excited to eventually become a mother, probably in the next five years, but that works. I want to finish college first. That is something that I was able to do. That's awesome.

Speaker 1: 27:41

So you're kind of constantly turning pain into power, and I think you're doing that not to put words in your mouth, but you have the group and you're helping people, and so I think that's one thing that's super good. Reminder is like if people have been through difficult things, use it to help others, like not in a selfish way, but you will get the return of feeling better. So not only do you help others, which is awesome, but you should feel better as you process and then pour out to other people. So it's really a win-win we're on the same page.

Speaker 2: 28:09

You just jumped ahead. That works, I guess. So the, the group that I run, I feel is very self-empowering and that is really something that I just it was miraculous that I just had this situation open up where I just kind of felt called and directed to starting this online group. And it is a group of metaphysics and self-help and it's a supportive group and it is a lifelong commitment for me. Like I said, I've been running it for over eight years and that's something that I really love to do and pour back into the community. It is my way of really giving to the world, because everything in that group is free. There's free energy healings, there's free intuitive readings. It's a supportive, loving environment.

Speaker 2: 28:51

Now also, there are situations where some people will ask me for life coaching and, let's say, they cannot necessarily afford a session. Oftentimes I'll just give it for free because I want to give back to others and that is something that pain and depower really was feeling called to become a life coach and it's kind of funny how life works because I was the person that people went to for advice all the time. Even when I was in my own trauma and chaos, I still had this gift of being able to look at a situation and help others, and that really helped me to become called to be a life coach to others. Oftentimes I do sliding scale payments because I want to make sure everybody has that access to it, even if somebody can't afford it. There are times where I will just give a free mini coaching session to somebody to help them address their problems.

Speaker 1: 29:45

That's awesome. Yeah, constantly turning that pain into power. What do you wish more people understood about the difference between confidence and empowerment?

Speaker 2: 29:57

that's a great question. I feel that with confidence, it's really you feel established within yourself and it's more this is my interpretation of it it's more of a feeling, a sensation of, okay, I'm going to carry myself with confidence, I'm going to feel connected with who I am, but empowered, I feel, has more action behind it. You are taking those tangible steps to elevate yourself in the sense of, okay, I'm going to empower myself, let's say, in an office setting. If you're confident, you're just walking around with confidence and you're just kind of showing the world that you are connected within yourself.

Speaker 2: 30:34

Empowered is hey, I'm going to not only do that, but I'm going to take it a step further and I'm going to add supportive actions. That. But I'm going to take it a step further and I'm going to add supportive actions to that. So that might be deciding to gather your co-workers around for, hey, we're going to improve office dynamics. Basically, that's just a very small example of ways that empowerment changes definition from confidence, because it really is that additional step. So, like I said, it could be something as simple of like hey, we don't like how people are being treated in the office, we're going to be empowered, we're going to come together Something along those lines. Confidence might be. I'm feeling confident today, empowered is like okay, yeah, I'm feeling like I need something additional beyond that, something more tangible, something more transformative, rather than just a feeling.

Speaker 1: 31:23

I like that, yeah, that action behind it, because you can be charismatic, you can be generally positive or confident as like a person. But I like that you mentioned the action part. You're empowered, you're getting after it. It's a verb, you can kind of just be confident by default, but that doesn't mean you're empowered. It's a very good definition. The last question in this section is when in your life did you feel the most powerful and what led you there?

Speaker 2: 31:49

I feel the most powerful when I'm helping others, and it's because I've had to go through some of the darkest times to get out through the other side and realize, okay, if I can do it, I can help, guide others to do it as well, and that's something that just feels like it's along. My life path is to truly help others, not from a place of being on a pedestal, but being on a place of like, hey, I've been through the darkness, let me try to help you, let me extend my hand and we can work through this together.

Speaker 1: 32:20

Absolutely. Yeah, I know I have, you know, sections. I'm in like a leadership management type role and I always talk about during my initial like meeting with someone that I want to be there on your best day, but I also want to be there on your worst day. Not that I want you to have the worst day, but I'd rather someone be there than no one be there. So I'll be there. We'll get you out of jail or you know, whatever needs to happen that day, we'll process it later. But don't feel any type of way calling me. We'll get you there, get you taken care of. I'll be there on that rough day. It's, it is what it is. We're all here for each other and your last pillar is staying strong when it's not easy, which should be a pretty good one with multiple kidnappings and things like that. So again another story Can you walk us through a time when everything felt heavy and how you got through it?

Speaker 2: 33:10

Yes, actually it was when I received a copy of my police report from my final kidnapping, of my police report from my final kidnapping, the one where I was held hostage for 12 hours, where I was drugged, where I was forced to urinate outside and pose for photos. It was a horrific situation that lasted for, like I said, 12 long hours and I received my police report and it was so evident that they did not believe me they did not believe me whatsoever that they did not believe me. They did not believe me whatsoever and I felt crumbled inside. I was like the police report had said things like a victim claims. This happened, victim repeats herself often and they tried to insinuate that I was perhaps, you know, on drugs or that I was mentally unstable, when in fact I'm just neurodivergent and I repeat myself. They said during my kidnapping, victim claims she was high on drugs the whole night. What they failed to mention is that I was drugged against my will and that had crumbled me.

Speaker 2: 34:16

But I found the empowerment when I just. It was my spirit. But I found the empowerment when I just. It was my spirit, it was my intuition. It said you need to write a book about this. You need to write a book about this and that's where I found my power, that's where I gave myself my justice, because it turned out I was telling the truth about everything and I knew that my story needed to be out there. So I wrote the book Unbreakable, which you can find on Amazon, and it really goes over that. It goes over that whole nightmare of not being believed and the whole situation of it turns out that I was telling the truth about everything and how I found that empowerment afterwards Because, like I mentioned, it's pretty horrible getting kidnapped. It's even worse when no one believes you.

Speaker 1: 35:02

I cannot even imagine. On either case, and I'm curious earlier you talked about empowerment, we talked about confidence. What does strength mean to you now, compared to earlier in your life?

Speaker 2: 35:16

Strength had used to be this concept that seemed farther out of reach for me in the beginning, and strength, what I realized now was just showing up even if you feel uncomfortable, even if you feel scared. So when you are able to survive something of darkness and you are able to walk into the light, you have to still keep walking in that light. That means in this context, every day you're choosing yourself.

Speaker 1: 35:45

What does strength mean to you now, compared to earlier in your life?

Speaker 2: 35:51

First strength was this concept that felt farther out, that was harder to reach for me, but I realized that strength really just means showing up, even if you feel scared, even if you feel like the world's against you. Just showing up for yourself, that is real strength. Going to the gym when you don't feel like it, choosing to process your emotions and connect with yourself when you feel like things are going against you, strength is really honoring yourself. Strength it just means to be consistent, just to be consistent even when it's hard. That's what strength is to me, at any rate.

Speaker 1: 36:31

Yeah, that makes sense. One of my favorite phrases I try to say in my head is consistency is more powerful than motivation. Because I feel like motivation you have to wait for it to come. It's a feeling, it comes and goes, but you just got to remain consistent. Like that is the most powerful. That is much better than motivation.

Speaker 1: 36:49

So, like I mentioned earlier, like I put my workout clothes out every night, put it in an easy to locate spot so that when I'm getting up at six and going to the gym like it's not difficult, there's less excuses like oh, it's cold, I don't know where my shoes are at, I don't want to grab my socks. Like you just put it there and you just do it either way. Like you said, you show up and you keep showing up because it's the smaller things. We got numerous books like James Clear and Atomic Habits and you know other ones. It's like that one percent every day. You just get a little bit better. His is interesting because he says like you're going to get better or worse and I thought that was kind of interesting. So I think a lot of people are like I'll just kind of remain neutral and his argument it's like that's not really a thing like you're gonna go better or worse, like those are the only two, so make your choice, like you mentioned earlier, like skipping the dessert or whatever.

Speaker 1: 37:38

Like you do take it and you know it gets a little worse and maybe you make up for it later or whatnot. But yeah, all those choices, all kind of you know, accumulate into something larger. And the last question in this section, kind of going to your point, like you want to push beyond things, you want to try new things, try difficult things. But I'm always curious in life about balance. Like I think you really have to find balance in everything. So how do you balance between pushing through the difficult and pausing to heal?

Speaker 2: 38:07

That's a beautiful question and that I believe, honestly, is honoring your emotions. Like I said earlier, it's okay to feel like a victim if you are a victim Absolutely but it's choosing to not remain in that place. So there are moments still where I'm like, oh man, that really sucked, I can't believe. I was kidnapped four times within a year by two different men what? And I still have that. But I'm not in that place. I don't remain in that place because I remember I survived it. So I should honor the fact that I survived it and not let it eat me up and consume my life anymore and I should make it into something positive and productive, and that's why I took those steps. So that really, I think, is the balance. The balance is honoring those emotions when they come because they still come, at least for me. But, like I said, I remind myself that I don't need to stay in there anymore. I survived, I have a new chapter, I have a whole life ahead of me. I'm only 29.

Speaker 1: 39:04

Yeah, I think it's really just how you process it, Like I lost my dad a few years ago and you know we talked about the yeah, one of those things of life about being able to process and whatnot, and I think it really is.

Speaker 1: 39:16

Like you know, it never goes away. You just have to figure out how to move forward and things like that Not move forward in, like you know, a disrespectful way obviously, like you still want to honor and do things. But I think it's interesting with the five stages of grief. They make it seem like, oh, they got to go in order and it's going to take this amount of time and it's like they gave a framework for you to understand. But it's going to be whatever order it wants to be, however long it wants to be, and you're still going to have moments where it comes up and, you know, hits you upside your head sometimes. I think it's a good reminder like you just have to be okay with it, it's going to be there.

Speaker 1: 39:50

But I just wanted to kind of point that out because I feel like some people are like, oh, you know time heals, which I think is accurate, but like they make it seem like it would fully heal and I'm not sure if it ever necessarily goes away. It softens and you just find ways to, you know, do different things, honor their birthday or find ways to turn it into more of a positive thing, but the memories and things like that will obviously never go away and we'll transition into trying to bring it all together. So we had the three wonderful pillars we had today. If you could offer one piece of advice to someone feeling lost right now, what would it be?

Speaker 2: 40:29

This piece of advice is something that I feel is so transformative, and this advice is that give yourself the gift of a well-lived life. That's a gift that you can give yourself. Things will still happen outside of our control. Life will not always be peaches and cream and rainbows and butterflies, but for the most part, I feel that you have more power than you realize, and when you recognize that and you start taking those steps to honor your spirit such as removing toxicity from your life, honoring yourself, such as removing toxicity from your life, honoring yourself and looking at your goals and walking towards the direction of your goals you're able to help lay a very strong foundation to giving yourself the life that you want to live. So I say give yourself the greatest gift, and that is the gift of a well-lived life that honors you, that aligns with your goals and your values.

Speaker 1: 41:23

What is something that you remind yourself of on the days that feel overwhelming?

Speaker 2: 41:34

I remember my mission, I try to remind myself okay, this is my mission. This is what I have already been told within my spirit that I need to do. This is why I survived what I survived. I am meant to walk in this direction. I am meant to survived what I survived. I am meant to walk in this direction. I am meant to be a life coach. I am meant to be a published author. I am meant to be somebody who helps others, and when I remind myself of that and remind myself, hey, we've already come so far, keep going. That's what helps me Focusing on my goals.

Speaker 1: 41:58

There's nothing better than keep going. I was thinking, dory right, keep on swimming, whatever version of that, but take the next step, absolutely the next step, or the next right step is the next step. And finally, where can we learn more about you and listeners connect with you?

Speaker 2: 42:13

Absolutely. I am on Facebook, I am on YouTube, I'm on Instagram and TikTok.

Speaker 1: 42:34

My book Unbreakable A Chilling Memoir of Survival, Multiple Kidnappings and a Search for Justice, is on Amazon. It's in KDP and in paperback it with someone else who might need it. To Stay strong, stay growing and remember the force within you is always greater than the pressure around you. I'll see you next time on Mindforce. I love you all. See ya, thank you.