Kijuan Amey: Losing Sight, Finding Direction: A Veteran’s Journey To Redefine Progress

We trace Keywon Amy’s journey from Air Force boom operator to resilience coach after a life-changing motorcycle accident, moving from raw adversity to faith-driven purpose. Mindset, music therapy, and realistic expectations anchor a practical roadmap for recovery and growth.

• early life in Durham and pivot from engineering to the Air Force
• choosing in-flight refueling and the culture of the boom operator community
• the 2017 accident, injuries, and family impact
• emotional fallout, including being ghosted during recovery
• sports, competition, and the habit of not giving up
• faith conversations, questioning God, and finding purpose
• mental health therapy and switching clinicians for progress
• music therapy as regulation, focus, and confidence
• releasing unrealistic expectations about eyesight and moving forward
• balancing drive with grace and avoiding self-sabotage
• rejecting labels and defining identity daily
• where to connect with Keywon and find his work

If this episode hits home for you, share it with someone you care about, leave a review, and tell us your biggest takeaway

https://mindforcepodcast.buzzsprout.com

Chapters

• 0:51 Setting The Theme: Real Adversity
• 1:34 Keywon’s Roots And Military Pivot
• 3:29 Choosing The Air Force And Job
• 6:40 Life As A Boom Operator
• 9:19 Assumptions, Youth, And Expertise
• 11:05 Hobbies, Family, And Music
• 12:55 The Accident And Injuries
• 16:10 Ghosted During Recovery
• 19:00 Don’t Give Up: Competitive Drive
• 21:59 Faith, Therapy, And Mindset Shift
• 24:25 What Music Therapy Looks Like
• 27:00 Purpose, Job, And Growth Through Pain
• 30:12 Letting Go To Move Forward
• 32:05 Balancing Drive With Grace
• 34:19 Define Yourself, Not Your Labels
• 36:00 Connect, Resources, And Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:24

Welcome back, everyone. I'm Nate Shear, and this is Mind Force, the podcast that helps us navigate love, life, and learning, one serious conversation at a time. Today we'll be talking about what it really looks like to push through adversity, not just in a motivational sense, but in a raw, human way it plays out day to day. Today we'll be diving into how mindset shapes the way we approach hard seasons, why hardships don't always mean failure, and how setting realistic expectations can actually fuel progress instead of holding you back. Well, let's start with a quick guest introduction. Who are you? What's driving you right now, and what brings you to this conversation today?

SPEAKER_03: 1:07

Well, thanks for having me. First and foremost, Nate. I truly appreciate you having me on your platform to share my story and my viewpoints. But my name, like you hear right now, is Keywon Amy. I'm a motivational speaker, keynote speaker. I do resilience coaching as well as trusted mentoring. But being born and raised in Durham, North Carolina, it taught me a lot about being resilient and even grit for that matter. It was not the easiest upbringing. So it was just one of those things where you had to get in where you fit in. And so whether it was, you know, learning to find your own path, you know, doing for me sports, I loved sports, but I was also very intelligent. So I loved school as well to a certain extent. You know, you don't want to be there all day, but you do, I did love the certain classes, man. And math was one of them. And so yeah, yeah, huge math guy. I actually wanted to go to um college for engineering. So that was that was wanting to be, you know, my my journey, but it ended up taking a turn, and I went to the military. And the only reason I went to the military is because I had an admission hiccup uh when I was, you know, uh trying to figure out what freshman orientation was going to be had at said college that I was trying to attend here in North Carolina. Me being somewhat impatient, I was like, you know what? I'm not waiting on this. I'm going to the military. I'm not talking to nobody else. I'm out of here. I was done with the fast food industry, man. You know, hey, no shot to Bo Jangles. You know, I love the food, but working there was not is not for me. You know, that was a cool first-time job, you know. And so that's what I left it as the first time. And I'm not going back. So unless I'm gonna have a franchise, I'm not going back.

SPEAKER_00: 2:55

That's awesome. So your uh wrong turn on the campus. Uh, what branch and what did you end up doing?

SPEAKER_03: 3:01

Yeah, yeah. So I went to the Air Force, and funny enough, I went to the Air Force because, and I say that because I have a large footprint in family who were Navy. Six Navy members in my family. We had six Navy, one Army, one Marine, one Coast Guard. And I was the first Air Force, and I say first because my youngest brother is now serving in the Air Force. He's overseas right now. But, you know, it was, and everybody always asks you that question. Well, what made you go Air Force? And I'm like, the Navy made me go Air Force. I was like, You know what you didn't want to do. Well, I was literally talking to the Navy guy. Remember, I wanted to go to college. So I heard that the military would pay for it. I'm like, well, let me figure out how I can get this done. Okay, so I go sit down with the Navy recruiter asking the same question three different times. And he kept sliding this pamphlet across the table to me. Hey, listen, dude, that stuff that's on that pamphlet, I read that on the internet. So I know what it says. I don't understand it. That's where you come in, sir. You know what I mean? And so I left his office after he's wasted about 30 to 45 minutes of my time. And I go across the hall, literally, I don't even leave the building. I go straight across the hall, man, to the Air Force recruiters. And uh as soon as I walked in, on the wall, there was a pennant and it said Community College of the Air Force. And I said, I think I'm in the right place. I think this is it. And as soon as I walk in, empty, you know, waiting area, and both of the recruiters standing there in front of their offices, their respective offices, talking to each other. And they're looking at me, and I'm looking at them, and they're like, Can we help you? Oh, yeah, uh, I think I want to join the Air Force. You know, and so, you know, that whole little rundown of how recruitment goes and taking the tests and uh going through the through the medical processes. And then it comes time for me to pick my job. And I personally, you know, going through high school, I had took a vocational class called automotive tech. I took that for three years, and that's the highest level you can go. And I was thinking about doing that, you know, something with turning wrenches, man, mechanical. Well, when he saw my score on the ASVAB, he's like, there's no way I would let you do that. And I'm like, what do you mean? But that's what I want to do. My family, who's very heavy in military, they told me to not let you guys pick my job. That's what they kept telling me. Don't let them pick your job. And so I'm thinking, I'm not letting him pick my job. I'm not letting him pick my job. So he's like, but dude, I get it. Let me show you something. And so he turns around, man, he pulls up a video on his computer screen, and I'm watching this video of a plane flying up to another one that's in the air. And I'm like, what is this? Like some Air Force promo video or something? Like, what are you doing? He's like, no, you qualify for that job. And it's called in-flight refueling specialist.

SPEAKER_00: 5:54

Boom operator.

SPEAKER_03: 5:55

Yeah. Good old BO. I got to lay on my stomach and pass gas, man. It was so fun. 135s? Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_00: 6:07

You didn't get to sit upright in the 10.

SPEAKER_03: 6:09

Bread and butter.

SPEAKER_00: 6:11

Nice. How long were you in?

SPEAKER_03: 6:13

Well, on paper, I was in for 10 years, three months and 17 days, but I'm not counting. That was what the military did. But the reason I say on paper is because, you know, I had a motorcycle accident, and that was at about six and a half years in. Um and I didn't get to basically work another day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 6:33

Okay. Well, yeah. Active duty Air Force here, 16 years. So Okay. What did you do? Uh I've done a little bit of everything. So I was uh air traffic control for five years, contracting for three, and then I got picked up for my commission to be a hospital administrator. So that's what I'm doing now. I'm a medical service corps officer running the backside of a hospital.

SPEAKER_03: 6:56

Nice, nice.

SPEAKER_00: 6:58

Yeah, I love helping people, but uh don't do the blood and needles. I pass out. So I find a different way to help people. I never thought I'd end up never thought I'd end up working in a hospital, but yet here we are.

SPEAKER_03: 7:09

Hey, man, you know we all got our calling, right? Yeah, it all works out. Actually, I wanted to do ATC. Nice. That was another one that I wanted to choose when I saw I qualified. I scored uh 87 as VAP. Nice. Yeah, 87. And so I qualified for that. And it wasn't it wasn't my recruiter who told me not to. It was actually while I was already in. I had run into a guy stationed at the same base as me, which is Seymour Johnson in North Carolina. He was a reserve pilot, still is, but he he's a reserve pilot and he used to do air traffic controller. He said, Dude, I'm glad you didn't get that job. I was like, what do you mean? He's like, well, first off, you're a great boom operator. But secondly, that job sucks. And I'm like, what are you talking about, man? He's like, I used to be ATC. I said, Oh, well, I didn't know that. You gotta give me that a heads up, like in the front. I'm like, I need you to explain this to me because all I know about is what the money you can make on the outside, you know? And that's all I was thinking about finding a job to do so that I could do something on the outside. Well, he's like, yeah, dude, sitting up there in that box, it's not fun. It's very stressful. Yeah, he's like, it's very stressful, it's long hours, you just you just don't want to be there. And I was like, well, I guess it takes some some kind of uh, you know, sure passion for something like that.

SPEAKER_00: 8:34

Yeah, I mean, I think it's like you said, everyone has their spot. I mean, it fits certain people and other people, it's not quite the right fit.

SPEAKER_03: 8:40

Yeah. But Dude, I loved being a boom operator.

SPEAKER_00: 8:44

It was awesome.

SPEAKER_03: 8:45

Yes, absolutely. It's so freaking. And I was an instructor too, so yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 8:52

So we'll uh start with your warm-up question. What's one thing people assume about you that couldn't be farther from the truth?

SPEAKER_03: 9:00

Based off my age, which I'm only 33, and they see how youthful I am, they don't think I know a lot. That's one of the biggest assumptions. I just had to deal with it today, and that's why I'm speaking on it. So that's one of the biggest assumptions I get is that people are like, wait, so are you okay with that? Do you understand that? I'm like, dude, I used to do this. You just thought all I did was the military. I don't put everything on my resume because I want to see what you know. You know what I mean? And so it was, it's just one of those things where you tend to not I'm not trying to show you up. That's not what I'm trying to do at all. What I'm trying to do is see whether I'm missing something and what you're gonna say. Now, when I know what if I know more than what you know and you're this person that's presenting this, this is not good. Because I get lost. With I already told you I wanted to be an engineer. Dude, when we are, you know, just turning our wheels trying to trying to find something to grab a hold to, yeah, we're gone. You lost us a long time ago. You know, my my AD my ADD starts kicking in. I can't pay attention. I need something to keep me interested.

SPEAKER_00: 10:12

Reminds me of the scene from Rush Hour where Jackie Chan doesn't talk and he's just letting Chris Tucker talk just so that he can figure out. I just wanted to see how much you knew.

SPEAKER_03: 10:25

Yeah, he said, No, I didn't tell you I don't speak English. You assume I didn't. I love that movie, by the way.

SPEAKER_00: 10:32

That's a good one. Yes, perfect example. Yes. Well, before we get too much further, I wanted to flip the mic. What's one question you have for the host?

SPEAKER_03: 10:40

Yeah, I mean, one question that came to my mind, because I have drums and a piano behind me. I'm a huge musician. What hobbies do you have?

SPEAKER_00: 10:49

What hobbies do I have? Yeah. Um, I don't really have too many, honestly, with the kids and things like that, just getting them to swim or gymnastics or things like that. I think probably traveling would be what we do. We're out here in the United Kingdom, so easy to travel through Europe. So getting into London, driving through the channel, or taking Ryanair, you know, the cheap spirit airlines of the be able to get out. So traveling would probably be it, getting out, spending time with uh the kids and family and really getting out and trying to have some fun. My mom just got here last week, so she's a school counselor, so she's lucky enough to have the whole summer off. So she comes and lives with us. So a year ago, we lived in Japan. She came out and did her first international flight, and then her first international flight was like 15 hours or something crazy. So she busted that one out, and then she just got here over a I think a nine or 10-hour flight this time to the UK. So we hang out with grandma over the the summer and get some traveling knocked out. So it's a good time.

unknown: 11:50

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_03: 11:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 11:51

What all do you play?

SPEAKER_03: 11:53

Well, I play the drums and the keyboard, and I also sing any any percussion instrument, I'm I'm all over it. I've been playing drums since I was seven.

SPEAKER_00: 12:02

Nice. That's awesome. I've always wanted to pick up the drums.

SPEAKER_03: 12:05

Yeah, it I mean, you could pick them up really easy, but learning how to play them.

SPEAKER_00: 12:10

Actually being good, that's different.

SPEAKER_03: 12:12

Yeah, listen, learning how to actually play them. That that's actually a uh genetic thing. My dad, he was in the drum line. Family, we sing, we dance, we we sing, everything, man. So it's a it's a natural thing. It's it's in the genes, man.

SPEAKER_00: 12:27

Makes sense. So your first pillar is overcoming adversity. Can you share the time when you felt completely stuck and you know what started this journey of you know overcoming your adversity? What's the foundation for this?

SPEAKER_03: 12:42

Well, the first one I mean that really sticks out is my accident. I I didn't know what what to do first and foremost. I was turning my wheels for years uh until resources started popping up. And and to give you a little insight in the audience, um my motorcycle accident was May 5th, 2017. Um I was a reservist at the time. I did four years active and then, you know, palace chased the reserves. So this would be for me a tragedy and my family, not just me, because it changed all of our lives. You know, from me living on my own to now having to live with grandma. Now I live with my mom and my stepdad. You know, it's just one of those things where it's not just something happened to me, it happened to all of us. And so with me, and why this happened to all of us is because I would lose my eyesight. I would have a traumatic brain injury. And when I say traumatic, I mean severe to the point where I have short-term memory loss. My emotions are need to be somewhat heavily, or not heavily, but regulated and more so is controlled by me. Some medication, it's it's the seizure medication. It kind of is like an antidepressant type thing. Two-parter type. And then I also have PTSD, you know, broke my spinal cord, man. So I got two rods and 12 screws in my back from L4 to T2. You'll understand most of this terminology. And uh broke my femur, of course. You know that's the largest and the hardest bone in your body to break. Broke that sucker to the point where it was a compound fracture. You know, that's this shows you how bad this accident was. Your tibia, which is your shin bone on the left leg, is rod and metal rod now, literally from knee all the way to ankle. I think it was a fracture. Was it a fracture of the fibia on my right leg? I don't know if they had to replace anything, but I do know I have a screw in my right foot. And my right foot is also a different size now. What do I mean by that? Well, my left foot is still the same size that it was before the accident, which was a size 10. My right foot is an 11 wide. So I was trying to figure out for years why I keep buying these really expensive shoes to include Brooks now. And every shoe I put my foot in is hurting. You know, and it's because the left foot, I always say it like this, but the left foot is trying to tell me, hey, you need to figure out what's wrong with that right foot, because I'm doing just fine in these shoes. I don't know what's wrong with him.

SPEAKER_00: 15:16

The other guy.

SPEAKER_03: 15:17

The other guy. Talk to the other guy. I'm doing great. I'm nice and comfy, okay? And that was what the problem was. It's it's literally a whole shoe size, and it's considered wide. Like they actually uh measured it, my podiatrist measured my foot. Yeah, dude. He broke a whole bunch of things. Yeah, literally from head on. I got two metal plates in my head, by the way.

SPEAKER_00: 15:42

Jeez. So for context, like how fast and what what kind of without I guess reliving it, but like how, you know, what exactly happened, because that's a massive.

SPEAKER_03: 15:53

I was going I was going 55, but that was the actual speed limit on this road. The car pulled out in front of me. It was a silver Honda cord pulled out in front of me. I don't remember any of this, but I know it from the police report and the witnesses that saw me, saw it. And so there were two cars behind the car that pulled out in front of me that said uh they saw me coming down the street, so they don't know why he did.

SPEAKER_00: 16:20

You were just too small, I guess.

SPEAKER_03: 16:23

I have no clue. I literally have no clue. I I I never asked the questions. I'm pretty sure it has to do something with distractions. Because again, they're on the same side of the street. They're in line to do the same turn as him. You know, why doesn't he see me?

SPEAKER_02: 16:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 16:41

And I know it's a guy because of the police report. You know, all of this stuff that I'm telling you is from the police report. Again, I have no recollection. And I'm thankful, honestly, because I would not want to relive that nightmare.

SPEAKER_00: 16:53

Yeah, that would not be something you want to remember. So during your recovery in the theme of overcoming adversity, what would you say was the hardest time and how did you get through that?

SPEAKER_03: 17:04

You know, the hardest time, a lot of people would think you maybe, you know, being in the bed, uh like you know, for a while I was bedridden. I couldn't walk. I needed a wheelchair, need a walker, all that stuff. They might have thought that would be the hardest time. The hardest time was when the girlfriend that I had ghosted me. Not just uh, I'm not gonna answer your calls, I'm gonna tell you that I'm coming on three different days and don't come. No, we're talking about you literally changed your phone number. Wait, how do I know this? Because the person that I kept texting was getting irritated. You know what I mean? Like, they're like, who are you looking for? Don't you realize I haven't responded? And I'm like, yeah, but I just thought you, you know, might have been busy. You know, because I'm like, where is she at? What what is she doing? Why is she not responding to what did I do to her? You know, that's all I could think. What did I do to you? And uh she finally says, Well, who are you looking for? And I tell her the name, and she's like, No, yeah, you got the wrong number for sure. I don't even know that person.

SPEAKER_00: 18:16

Has she ever reconnected?

SPEAKER_03: 18:18

No, no. Funny story about that. So my dad, who's who's in a wheelchair, he was going to the same church as her. She did not know this. She didn't know this. He didn't even know it. He had, I wish I had the shirt. It's not this shirt that I have on. I used to have another business called Kiwi Enterprise, and it had that big old logo across the chest. And she saw it. My dad was at the church sitting in the front row in his wheelchair, and she saw it. And she was like, Well, she was like, Where did you get that shirt from? That's my best friend's business. He was like, Oh, really? Like, well, how did you how y'all meet? She's like, Well, we went to high school together. She said, Oh, okay, that's cool. Yeah, he was like, She was like, Well, yeah, but you still didn't tell me how you got that shirt. He was like, That's my son. She said, like she saw a ghost.

SPEAKER_02: 19:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 19:09

Like she saw a ghost. This is after ghosting me, by the way. So, like she saw a ghost. And he's looking at her like, yeah, that's my son. And she's like, And then she finally says something, no, you're lying. That's not your son. That you're just making that up. He's like, Why would I make something like that? Like, you know, who makes up stuff? Who makes up gaming kids? You know what I'm saying? And she he's like, No, this is my son, Key Wan, Amy. And he says it, he says my name. She never said my name. He said it. Yeah, my last name is Amy. He said, Do I need to pull out some ID for you or something? What do you want me to do? Listen, this is how my dad talks, by the way. I'm not making this up like a joke. This is how he talks. Would you want me to pull out ID or something? And she's like, Oh uh, why that's crazy. And she finds her way away. And he calls me. He said, Hey, do you happen to know uh a so-and-so? I said, That's exactly what I do now. I said, Yeah, why? And he said, Why are you laughing? I said, tell me why you why are you asking about it first, and then I'll say what I gotta say. And he told me the story. I said, Yeah, that was the girl that I told you that ghosted me. He said, What? I wish I knew that. He said I would have got her so bad. I said, That's why I didn't tell you. Because I knew he went to the same church as her. He didn't know he went to the same church as her.

SPEAKER_00: 20:36

Yeah. That's funny. So now that you, you know, you're looking back and reflecting, if there was someone else at a really deep or dark moment, injury or illness or, you know, whatever it may be, what would you say to yourself slash them in the middle of those difficult times?

SPEAKER_03: 20:55

Oh, the same thing I tell myself now. Don't give up. I mean, you got to keep pushing, man. See, again, I I played sports growing up. We we kind of mentioned that before we got on here on the podcast recording. I played sports since I was five, starting with bowling. I used to bowl, and I was actually a sanctioned bowler where I could bowl in tournaments all across the U.S. Yeah. Family thing. My grandmother, she is. Oh sorry, she just had a birthday. That's why I had to think about it. She's 78 now and still bowling. Yeah, bro. It's serious. In my family, this is a thing. And so that was the first sport I did. Then I went to, what do you call it? Organized basketball. Didn't like it. I I love pickup ball. I do not like organized. Then I went from there to track and field and then also football. I did that in middle school. And then I fell in love with both of those. Mainly the jumping aspect of track. I mean, I I can run, but I like jumping. I've always had large calf muscles. If you ask any kid I ever played with, they're like, why are your calves so big? That's why you're so fast, because your calves are huge. Like, that's not why I'm fast. But anyway, I uh I would just tell people, you know, don't give up, man, because my competitors that was inside of me from playing sports as a child, even when I was still in the military, I played intramural, you know, sports there, you know, flag football, volleyball, basketball, things like that on base, you know, to keep me preoccupied when I wasn't flying. Of course, I played semi-professional football when I was a reservist. You're in England, I flew back, or the UK, I flew back from for two weeks on TDY, flew back from Mildenhall one morning, landed back on the East Coast at Seymour Johnson, drove an hour and 15 minutes to Durham, North Carolina, where I lived. Then I knew I had a football game that day, which is this, it was Saturday, by the way. Then I drove to the place where we had the football game, which is still in Durham, made it there right before halftime. People were looking at me on my team like, what are you doing here? And I said, Well, don't we have a game today? He was like, Yeah, but aren't you supposed to be in Europe? I said, Oh, I was. But I'm back. That's how dedicated I am to sports and just my competitiveness. It's like I couldn't relax. I wouldn't have been able to go to sleep if I would have just laid there. I would have been laying in my bed, like, dude, we got a game and I could be there right now. And I'm serious, that would, that's exactly what would have happened. The entire time I'm driving back to Durham, that's all I could think of. Can I make it there before the game's over? Because I was a starter and I knew our team, we had the number one defense in our league. So I'm like, yo, I'm I'm all about staying at number one. So going back to the original question, don't give up. And you just gotta find that spark, man. When I found my spark, I'm gone.

SPEAKER_00: 23:50

Yeah, that makes sense. Your second pillar is mindset. So how do you stay mentally steady when life feels chaotic or uncertain?

SPEAKER_03: 24:00

Well, that's a two-parter. So for me, faith, I'm a I'm a faith believer. So I do, I'm a Christian non-denominational. And so what the reason I bring that up is because a lot of people ask, when when this accident happened, did I, you know, question my faith and everything? Question, yes, I I talk to God all the time. Listen, we we have real conversations. We don't I don't do the little cupcake stuff, you know. Hey man, look, hey, I need you to come on down, get up, give me a listening ear. You know, we need to talk, have a seat. And I asked those YB questions why would you do this to me? Why would you allow this to happen to me? You know, and so that's the mindset I had until he responded with, well, why not you? I know you can handle this. I know there's things you can still do, such as playing these drums. I know you can do it. Because your mind will allow you to. Now shifting off of the faith to what I also deem very helpful, and I still do it till today, is mental therapy. I do mental therapy and music therapy, and I don't just mean me playing the drums, I mean like I actually attend music therapy sessions. Yeah, yeah, it's it's so beneficial, dude. Especially anybody with a head injury, so beneficial.

SPEAKER_00: 25:27

What is that?

SPEAKER_03: 25:28

So you can take that all day long. Hey, you're in the medical industry, take it, have at it, dude. It's so beneficial. So um mental therapy, uh, started doing that. So 2017, I had my accident. I think it was 2018. I think 2018 was my uh my initial um appointment with the VA, but I didn't like the VA's uh clinicians, like the the the ones that were there. I don't know if they're still there now, but it wasn't, it was like a it was like I was doing a circle. Every time I came in, we were talking about the same exact thing. And I'm like, where's the progression in this? How do I get better? That's what I'm trying to do. Get better. Not you ask me this, well, how did your friend didn't you just ask me about my friend last time? It's not nothing different. And you know, so now I go to different therapists. I've probably seen five different therapists now. Because I don't stay, I would like I told you earlier, I'm a little impatient. If I feel you're not doing your job, I gotta go. I need some help. I don't need to be, I don't need a friend. I need help. I've got friends. You know what I'm saying? And so um that that that those are two things that help me with my mindset. Um, you have to shift the mind uh from a negative side to the positive in order to get those positive returns. Because whatever you're put, you're put it this way, I think of it as a an emitter. And and this is going back to my flying days. We have emitters. So I'm thinking, whatever you're emitting, whatever energy you're emitting into the atmosphere, that's what's gonna come back. So if I'm emitting a bunch of negative energy, it's gonna come back that way. But if I start to switch and do positive, at some point I'm gonna get some positivity back. And you might even try to throw negativity just to throw me off. But guess what? If I keep emitting that that positivity, at some point you're either gonna leave or you're gonna switch your tune. And so, yeah, it's one of the that that's how I do the mindset.

SPEAKER_00: 27:50

Yeah, that makes sense. The the music therapy, I think is a new one for the show. I don't think we've seen a lot of meditation and journaling and things like that. So for the music therapy, how often is that? What exactly does the music therapy look like for you?

SPEAKER_03: 28:05

Yeah, so music therapy can be a quite a few different things. When I first started out doing it, it was a group session. This was before the pandemic, by the way. It was a group session. You would go in the group, they would have a music therapist playing a guitar, uh, acoustic guitar, by the way, and they would give us hand drums. The power of a hand drum is so amazing. It's like you're beating into your soul. Your hands just move at a at a they're gonna move regardless. Whether you're on beat or not, it does not matter because it's going to be what your your soul is asking you to be. It's almost like a language. I mean, I remember this one, was it last year? Yeah, it was last year. I was at the national um creative arts festival for the VA. And they had a session like that, dude. It was about 20, 25 people or so in this big old circle. We all had drums. We all had some kind of drum. And I started one of the drum offs and it went around the circle. Somebody across the room started a drum off, it went around a circle. Somebody over here, but what it did was we all started speaking the language. And dude, when I tell you, my hands didn't feel anything while I was beating that drum. But when I got done, I needed somebody to put them in water, ice water. Because they were, you know, hurting so bad. But when you're playing, it takes you somewhere else, man. Yeah, it takes you to a whole nother place. And so that's one way with the group sessions. And then when I I do one on one now with my music therapist, and it's once a week. Uh, I do like once a every Friday, is what I try to do if I'm available. And uh I go in person sometimes, and sometimes we do it virtually. And so I'll do the piano. She loves to hear me play the drums, but I try to I'm trying to learn the piano. So I'm like, can we just stick with the keyboard? I know what you like to hear, but can we stick with the keyboard? Thank you. And so she that she helps you learn keyboard because she knows how to play it. And she also, like when I am, I had I sing too. So when I had a performance coming up, she was helping me with my performance. Like get my notes down and all these types of things. And it made me confident. And it is so impactful, man. Like just to sit there and have somebody who wants to either be in your corner. And she's not forcing me to do anything. She's like, well, what do you want to do today? Do you want to do the keyboard? We can talk about music theory. We can listen to music. We can, you know, whatever. I've even started writing a song. You know? And so it's all that that's really what it's all about, man. It's it's um, it's really moving. Rhythm moves you. Music moves you. And so, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 31:12

Yeah, that makes sense. I'm curious, you know, as a Christian myself, I think sometimes it's really difficult for people to understand the difficult things that happen in life, like your car accident, or, you know, someone losing a child, or, you know, these terrible things that happen, you know, without people understanding like the peace from the Lord that, you know, doesn't really make any sense. Like, what do you say to people? You know, they'll say, like, oh, everything happens for a reason, or, you know, kind of a fill-in cliche thing. Like, what are your thoughts on things happening or, you know, where you've kind of come to with those deep conversations with the Lord?

SPEAKER_03: 31:47

Well, it yes, they are cliche, but they truly are happening for a reason. This accident that I had with the motorcycle, it did happen for a reason. There were things that I thought I should be doing. But come to find out, you and I should both know this. God has a plan for us before we were ever created in our womb, in our mother's womb. He already has a plan for us. How that plan is to be played out is up to him. I had a plan thinking that it was working. Oh, yeah, this is right on time. I'm finna be a CEO. I'm about to get my degree so I can fly a plane. This is what I'm talking about. Yeah, well, that's not what he thinks I should be doing. Because all it was gonna do was take me further away from him. You know, and so when I when when people say everything happens for a reason, I can I started to smile because I thought about that. Yes, that's cliche. But with this accident occurring, actually drew me to him. See, a lot of people thought it maybe it might have pushed me away. Yes, if you're one of those people who don't understand that God allows things to happen. I put so much emphasis on that word allow because he does. He allows things to happen. If you know the story of Job, he allowed that to happen. He told the devil, he said, just try my servant Job. He said, He won't, he won't turn away from me. He said, Oh, you must not know Job. I said, That's the thing. I do know him. So you can do what you want to his body, but the soul is mine.

SPEAKER_00: 33:31

Yeah, he loses everything. I'm uh working through, reading through the Bible, just hit Job, actually. What a funny coincidence. Loses everything and uh still, you know, keeps his connection and spirit alive.

SPEAKER_03: 33:42

Not only does he lose it all, he gains it back twice over. But but you know what? He had to go through that in order to get that. That's that's the key here that a lot of people miss that you gotta go through something in order to get something. If you're always sitting somewhere just like, well, I'm gonna stay in the house today because I'm trying to avoid, you know, the bad things out in the world. Well, I mean, that's cool. You can stay in the house all day long. At some point in time, you're gonna need to go outside to get groceries.

SPEAKER_00: 34:22

Yeah, you gotta go through the difficult things.

SPEAKER_03: 34:28

It's it's just the thing that I always think of in in this manner is if we never went through anything, we would never grow.

SPEAKER_00: 34:39

Because Is there like a pinnacle moment that you've had since the accident that, you know, is life-changing and you never would have had without the accident?

SPEAKER_03: 34:48

Yeah, pretty much everything now. Like, and and I'm not even trying to be funny, everything. There was a uh, I spoke for a I'm sorry, not high school, a college in Raleigh, North Carolina, Shaw University, spoke to them, the football team. And as I'm on this stage, I don't know, maybe a hundred, hundred plus, these are these are football players. Majority of this room is African American. And uh yeah, they're glued to me because that's probably one of the reasons. Maybe they're glued to me because I have on some Jordans. The other reason they were glued to me is because I was giving them the real authentic conversation that they needed. It wasn't up there to be like, yeah, y'all gonna win this season and y'all gonna go out there, y'all gonna knock them all day, y'all gonna go out there and y'all gonna test some head. No, not once did I raise my voice. I was talking the same way I'm talking to you. And even two things. The coach, when he was when I finished, he said, Listen, I don't know what you're doing, but I have never, and I mean never seen them that attentive to anybody. And I brought in some amazing people, okay? And I said, Well, I mean, I just did what I had to do. I prayed before I went on that stage. God, give me the words that I need to give them because it's not about me, it's about them, and I need them to gain the knowledge that you are gonna give me. And whatever I said came from him. I gave them opportunities to ask me questions. I told them about the girl who ghosted me, and they were like, Man, did you the girl really ghost you? I said, Listen to me. And I said, Hear me clearly. You young men need to realize something. Women are not always there for your best interest. You have to decipher that. I'm not saying all of them. I said, but you will have to decipher that. And uh the other guy in the back, I think was he the one doing the camera? He might have been the cameraman. He was he was a part of the team, too, by the way. I think he was the kicker or something. Um, but that was what he was going to school for, the media. And so he's asking a question. He said, Hey, I got a question. I said, shoot. He said, Um, do you think this is like your your purpose? And I like looked off and I said, started smiling. I said, divine. That's what I answered with. I said, This is my divine purpose. The fact that he asked that question, I knew it was my purpose. I was waiting on a question like that. And so when I tell you that everything, anybody, wherever I speak is not about me. I mean, yes, I'm using my story to gain these stages, but it's not about me. It's about what happened to me that shows you that's not the end of me.

SPEAKER_00: 38:02

Yep, everything happens for a reason. Your last pillar is realistic expectations. Can you share a story where letting go of unrealistic expectations actually opened up the door to a better outcome?

SPEAKER_03: 38:16

Regaining my eyesight. That was probably the biggest one. I I laid in my bed for a number of days after getting out of that hospital. Um, either us being Christians, you know how it is. Either one, somebody always wanting to come over and pray for me in regards to my eyesight. Uh two, me wanting to pray for me in regards to regaining my eyesight. Or three, ha having all of these reoccurrences of memories. I remember refueling a F-22. I remember refueling a B-2. I remember going to the UK. I remember going to Guam. I remember going to Japan. I remember all these things. I remember almost thinking I was gonna die in an airplane. I remember these things. But yet I can't see any of that anymore. I can't get that chance back. And so the realistic expectation was to say, what do we do next? Because this whole sitting here hoping and I don't get me wrong, I love hope because I know what it can do. But I also know what being realistic can do. It tells me I can keep doing stuff without. I don't have to have eyesight to travel to the country. I've done it already. I've flown from North Carolina to Washington State. Tacoma to be exact. Yeah, you know, so I've flown from North Carolina to Texas, San Antonio, Dallas, North Dakota. Ain't much to see up there, but North Dakota. You know, I've flown these different places, man. Went to Florida, went to Orlando, Disney, I've been to these places. But, you know, what we have to realize is if we keep living in denial, because that's another part of realistic expectations, living it in denial gets you no. It will get you absolutely no, or you will be stuck in what I call neutral.

SPEAKER_00: 40:48

So everything in life, I think, is about balance. So, how do you balance kind of challenging yourself, you know, setting goals and moving forward, but also gr giving grace? I feel like sometimes we're hard on ourselves, our inner monologue is kind of negative. How do you balance, you know, challenging, but a little bit of grace in there?

SPEAKER_03: 41:08

It's so hard with me. And I say that because that it goes back to what I said earlier about being a competitor. And I'm and the first thing that came to mind was me getting ready to go to the gym here in a little bit. Every time I get in the gym, man, I just want to lift all the weights. And I know I can't, but I just want to, you know, so bad. You know, I'm like, if it wasn't for this accident, you know. But what I do understand is as soon as I feel something hurt, or I feel like my leg won't extend that far, or I feel like it's trying to hyperextend, I say, Keywon, remember, you are not the same. And the reason I have to remind myself, I'm not lying, Nate. I'm when I tell you this, I am not lying. I will push myself. I'm not joking, dude. I'd be like, I can do this. I don't listen, and all you're gonna do is hurt yourself even more. In my instance, all I would do is hurt myself even more. And I don't want to be hurt anymore. That accident did enough.

SPEAKER_00: 42:15

You've done enough.

SPEAKER_03: 42:16

That accident did enough, brother. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 42:18

Thinking you've done enough hurting.

SPEAKER_03: 42:20

Yeah, yeah, I've done enough for a lifetime, okay? Maybe even two.

SPEAKER_00: 42:24

Maybe a couple people.

SPEAKER_03: 42:26

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00: 42:27

So we talked about those three main pillars. Let's try to bring it all together. If someone out there right now is listening, feeling overwhelmed in some type of, you know, deep, dark situation, what's one mindset shift or truth you'd want them to hold on to today?

SPEAKER_03: 42:49

One that I use for myself, actually, is it's asking a quote that I use. And it's based off of how people try to either put you in a box or, you know, put labels on you. You know, with all the different elements that I do have now and everything that I've mentioned. We we can't let people put labels on us because that'll try to define who you are. No, no, no, no. Don't let those labels define you who you are. You define who you are. Every day you have an opportunity to go out here and define yourself. And in some cases, redefine. Because what you used to be in the past is not necessarily who you are now. I know for a fact I'm not the same person I used to be in the past. And so we we can have these definitions of ourselves, but at some point, don't let other people make these definitions about you. I want to define me, and that's how what I would say.

SPEAKER_00: 43:53

That's perfect. Yeah. Don't let anybody define you, pigeonhole you. You can do what you need to do. Write your your next chapter. This has been a powerful conversation. Thank you for your honesty, your perspective, and your strength. Before we close out, where can listeners connect with you, follow your work, or reach out?

SPEAKER_03: 44:11

Absolutely. For social medias, you can follow me on LinkedIn, uh let's see, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram. All of those are my handles are KewanAmy. So just my first and last name, K-I-J-U-A-N A-M-E-Y. If you would like to buy my book or book me for speaking engagement or conference or what have you, um you can go to my website, which is amimotivation.com. Again, that's A-M-E-Y Motivation.com.

SPEAKER_00: 44:43

Awesome. Thank you so much for coming out to everyone out there. Thank you for spending part of your day with us. If this episode hits home for you, share it with someone you care about, leave a review, and tell us your biggest takeaway. As always, I love you all. See you next time.