Resilience, Faith, And High Performance w/ Grace Redman

We sit down with Grace Redman to unpack resilience that works in the real world, from a zero-revenue crash to a cancer diagnosis, and why surrender is letting go without giving up. We share tools to calm the body, choose faith over fear, and build consistency that outlasts motivation.

• redefining success from inner fulfillment to outer impact
• coaching vs mentoring and why questions come first
• moving from fear to faith during adversity
• gratitude, breathwork and music to reset state
• 2008 downturn lessons and service as a strategy
• surrender as acceptance and openness, not quitting
• luck vs consistency and the myth of overnight success
• paper plate resilience and compounding capacity
• sustainable high performance with rest as a lever
• practical nervous system regulation you can use today

If today’s episode encouraged you, share it with us, someone that needs it, leave a review and let us know your favorite takeaway

Chapters

• 0:50 Welcome And Guest Setup
• 1:39 Grace’s Backstory And Therapy Journey
• 4:05 Coaching vs Mentoring Explained
• 5:40 Rethinking Success From Inside Out
• 7:29 Basic Training And Doing The Hard Thing
• 10:50 Fear To Faith And Real Resilience
• 14:10 Practical Tools: Safety, Gratitude, Perspective
• 16:45 Using Past Adversity As Evidence
• 20:10 2008 Crash: Service As A Lifeline
• 22:00 Faith, Rest, And Sustainable Action
• 22:30 Surrender Defined: Letting Go, Not Losing
• 24:15 Diagnosis, Spiritual Depth, And Trust
• 26:10 Accountability Over Buzzwords
• 27:45 Luck vs Consistency And The Iceberg
• 31:00 No Overnight Success: WD‑40 And Shawshank
• 33:30 Joy In The Storm And Choice
• 34:50 High Performance Resilience In Practice
• 36:20 State Management: Gratitude And Music
• 37:50 Nervous System Regulation And Breath
• 40:10 Mindset Through Health And Marriage Trials
• 42:00 Consistency Beats Motivation
• 43:17 Final Message: Rest, Play, Don’t Quit
• 44:42 Connect With Grace And Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:23

Welcome back to Mind Force, a show where we tap into the strength it takes to live boldly, lead with clarity, and grow through whatever life throws at us. I'm your host, Nate Shear, and today's episode is a powerful one. Our guest is Grace Redman, a speaker, mindset coach, and former corporate leader who now empowers others to embrace resilience, faith, and mental grit in pursuit of their highest selves. She knows what it's like to face hard and still show up, still trust and still rise. Today we'll explore how we overcome when life doesn't quite go according to plan, how surrender is not weakness and wisdom, and how real resilience is built when we combine high performance with deep faith. Let's start with a guest introduction. Grace, let's start with your story. Who are you behind the titles and what personal experience most shape the work you're doing now?

SPEAKER_01: 1:18

Thank you so much for having me, Nate. I appreciate you. So I am Grace Redman. And first and foremost, I'm a mother to two young men, 22 and 24. And I've been married to their father for 27 years and been an entrepreneur for 26 years in, you know, one of the most challenging industries, staffing and talent acquisition. And 10 years ago, I felt inspired to start a coaching side of the business because the coaching is what I loved the most about the staffing. I loved coaching my candidates, clients. And probably like you, most of the people in my circle would come to me for advice. So it just felt like the next natural step. And I think, you know, I just shared this. When I was 19 years old, there was like a small voice inside of me. I knew that I needed some professional support. I didn't want to continue down the same path that I was going down. And so I started therapy by the grace of God. I saw an ad in the newspaper, and that led me to Catholic charities. And I saw the same lady on and off for 25 years. And 10 years ago, when I started the coaching side of the business, I was excited. I reached out to share with her. And she said, Grace, please don't get offended by what I'm about to share with you. But when I met you when you were 19 years old, I didn't believe that there was any hope left for you.

SPEAKER_00: 2:39

Jeez. What a way to bounce back.

SPEAKER_01: 2:43

So I said, you know, I'm not offended at all. And this just speaks to the resilience of the human spirit and what we're able to accomplish despite our circumstances.

SPEAKER_00: 2:54

I think that's perfect too, because I feel like sometimes people get in certain leadership positions and they're there to give advice, but things have been pretty easy and they haven't had any difficulties and things like that. Like I don't really want to go to that person. I don't know if I want to open up and connect and I want to see someone that's gone through some difficult things, overcome things. I think the best way to know if someone's, you know, true or not is if they've been through difficult things. I think resilience is one of those like buzzwords that kind of gets overdone. It's like resilience, you know, you can bounce back, you can, you know, get up, but really it's doing super difficult things or things you never thought possible, and then coming out on the other side. But that's not really what we talk about. It's like, oh, the winds on the one side, but it's really the late nights and the grueling hours and things like that. One question I wanted to ask you with coaching, I feel like nowadays it's like really popular, like there's a lot of life coaches and things like that. How do you see coaching and mentorship? And, you know, there's a lot of terms that are very close, but I know they're different. So how do you distinguish coaching from some of these other terms that are very close?

SPEAKER_01: 3:58

What are the some of the other terms, for example?

SPEAKER_00: 4:02

I like mentor, guidance, you know, things like that. Like, oh, I want a mentor. Like, do you want a mentor or a coach? Those are different, but people kind of use them synonymously.

SPEAKER_01: 4:11

Sure. I believe I do a little bit of both coaching and mentoring, because coaching is typically typically very question-based. You're asking the questions and the client is uncovering the answers within themselves. Whereas mentoring is you are asking questions, but you're also offering advice. So if I'm being transparent, I do a little bit of both. I do focus very heavily on the questions because we all have our answers within us. And so when we ask those probing questions, the client's able to have those light bulb moments and uncover and discover what they're meant to. And of course, there's a little bit mentoring, but sometimes I feel like if we give too much, you know, too fast, they're they're not, it's not like they're not processing and integrating it. So that's what I feel the difference between coaching and mentoring is.

SPEAKER_00: 5:00

Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, trying to pull it out and trying to get them to use their own. We all, like you said, have it within us, so we just need to figure out how to get it out of there.

unknown: 5:10

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 5:11

That is a good distinction between those two. For the warm-up question, one thing I'm really curious on, I've asked the question a couple of times on success and you know, before, you know, as we were kids and then growing up. So, what's something you believed about success when you were younger that's completely different now?

SPEAKER_01: 5:28

Well, I mean, growing up in the environment around me, success was the bottom line. Success was your image. What you what it looked like on the outside, and no one really paid attention to what was on the inside. And I was very successful financially. I looked successful on the outside, and then on the inside, I was exhausted, you know, felt unfulfilled. And so really now the definition of success for me is feeling fulfilled from the inside out, not from the outside in.

SPEAKER_02: 6:00

Yeah, that's so.

SPEAKER_01: 6:01

I still love success and you know, I still love money, but it starts within me and doesn't define me.

SPEAKER_00: 6:07

Yeah. That's so interesting. It's come up multiple times, like I said, and it's just so common how it was the cars, the money, the, you know, the finances and things like that. And now like helping others and, you know, maybe even helping others to gain finances and fancy cars or whatever. But there's just so many more things that are, you know, more important than the outward image and things like that. Now I feel like, you know, I'll get the knockoff of certain things because I'm like, does it really even matter? It was funny for so long, like as a kid, I grew up with like hand-me-downs and things like that with my mom and me kind of against the world for a while, you know, in Section 8, housing and stuff like that. And so I always wanted like brands, and now that I'm like completely able to buy the things I want and being, you know, nearly 40, I'm like, uh, you know,$20 for the swoosh on the side. I don't know if that's really worth it, but it is funny how as you grow and change, things get a little bit different. Well, before we dive too much deeper, Grace, I wanted to flip the mic. What's one question you'd like to ask me?

SPEAKER_01: 7:09

One question I would love to ask you is what was something that you experienced that was very challenging that now when you look back at it was, you know, one of the best things that could have happened to you.

SPEAKER_00: 7:21

I'd probably go with basic training. So I'm active duty military, uh, bounce around the world. That's why I'm out here in the UK. And it's one of those things like you always come up with your basic military training stories. And it's something that we thought was really challenging. But when you glance back at it, it's kind of funny because you're directed on what to do at every step of the process. So if you really think about it, it's probably the easiest time of your life, like completely counterintuitive, where, you know, I think the most difficult things in life really are all these decisions we have to make now. Like for eight weeks, you really don't have to think. You can autopilot and turn your brain off. So you're getting yelled at and screamed at and doing a lot of push-ups. So it feels very intense, and it is very intense. But that's something as I talk with people now, it is kind of funny. We're like, that was so hard as you're in it, and you're like, I remember one of the first nights, you're falling asleep, getting ready to wake up at like 4 a.m. the next day, and you're like, what did I get myself into? But like once you get into week two or three, you know how to make your bed, you know how to work out, you know how to get to you know, eat and things like that, it becomes very quick. So I think it's one thing, you know, very rewarding. I love my career, 16 years in, you know, I don't see myself really do anything else. So really enjoy it. But that first uh two or three days, you are yeah, really wondering about your choices, but you just got to push on. And that was one thing I think that's a really good reminder for the show and you know, for listeners and really for life. Like people tried to find ways to cheat. They'd say, I took drugs before I came in, or I want to hurt myself, or they'd try these different ways to get out. And the easiest way was always just to get done, to get through. We had, you know, a couple people say they wanted to like harm themselves and they had to stay for observation for even longer. So we got to all leave and go on with our lives, and they were still there. And so I think that's a good reminder. If you try to like make things work or cheat the system, it kind of kind of backfires on you. You just need to do the thing you're supposed to and get through. What do you think about that?

SPEAKER_01: 9:15

I freaking love it because it really isn't a metaphor for life. If we cheat the system and we don't follow the principles, it's gonna be messy. There's gonna be wreckage.

SPEAKER_00: 9:28

Come back to get you. One was funny, a guy was like, I did all the drugs. That was his way. He thought he was gonna get out. And it was kind of ironic because that day we went to get drug tested. So we went over and did the P test, and he came back completely clean, had nothing in his system. And so the TI, of course, was like, Oh, you have no integrity, you're a liar, you're the worst person, and just like destroyed him. Like, you didn't have to make up that lie. You could have just got done with this. But come up with things along the way.

SPEAKER_01: 9:53

I love that. Again, it's a metaphor for life, really.

SPEAKER_00: 9:58

It really is.

SPEAKER_01: 9:59

Go through it, go through the pain, go through the adversity, like feel it, lean into it instead of trying to mask it with the drugs or food or sex or whatever you know it is, because then you're gonna have to deal with it at some point.

SPEAKER_00: 10:13

Yeah. We'd always say the quickest way is through, and people some people embraced it and some people hated it. I'm like, I'm down. I'm just gonna embrace it and get through.

SPEAKER_01: 10:21

Ditto.

SPEAKER_00: 10:23

Your first pillar is overcoming adversity despite your circumstances. So I really enjoy this one and I want to ask like a quick question to start off with because I've asked other people, but I'd love to hear your advice. It seems like there's this very fine line with overcoming adversity, where, you know, some people get dealt the bad hand and they go, like you said, drugs and gangs and all sorts of things, or other people use it to, I want to do better, and then just catapult. How do you think, like, even though both people are given these like unfair hands, how do you why do you think some people end up one way or another?

SPEAKER_01: 11:01

I mean, that's a great question. I ask myself all of the time, because you could have two individuals growing up in the same household, having the same adversities or the same challenging environment, one catapults, you know, to what we define as, you know, success and is healthy, and the other goes the other direction. I'm still trying to figure out that question. However, what I've noticed is resilience, yes, we think of resilience as bouncing back, but also if we cultivate high performance resilience is what you just talked about, is when we are in that diversity and we are in the storm, how do we harness, you know, the energy and transmute it for us to thrive? And I believe, you know, one of the first things we need to do is really get honest with ourselves. Because typically when we are in a state of adversity, there's fear. And that fear holds us back. And so moving from a place of fear into faith, faith in your capabilities or capabilities and and faith in the process, because most of us have made it through hard times, but we usually we won't knuckle it. So if we can move from that fear into faith in the process, faith in our capabilities, faith in a, you know, higher power of your choosing, that's going just even talking about it, I feel lighter. Moving from that fear into the faith and really riding the wave. Like, how can I harness this? And you know, the majority of Fortune 500 companies were built during down times when other people were in a place of fear. So they were able to capitalize and leverage that fear and thrive when other people were just paralyzed in fear.

SPEAKER_00: 12:39

It's interesting too. Like if you look back, you know, you have that fear built in because of the caveman brain, and you wanted to not step out of your comfort zone and things like that. And it's just crazy to me how difficult it is to take leaps of faith and step out of comfort. And we know we need to. You grow, you get better, but it feels like your brain is always telling you, like, hey, you're gonna get hurt, things are gonna happen, which they are, like you said, like push through it, and then you get the benefit on the other side. But that's where the resilience comes from.

SPEAKER_01: 13:09

Our yes, and our ego is trying to keep us safe. Our, you know, our reptilian mind is trying to keep us safe. And we're like you said, we're not running some from saber-toothed tigers right now. So I I really feel the most important thing is regulating your nervous system. Reminding yourself, like, okay, I'm safe. Yes, there's uncertainty. And in this moment, am I running from a saber-toothed tiger? Like, am I being, if I can use the word, am I being bombed? We're, you know, in the United States and the UK, that's not something that we need to think about. So just reminding yourself, like, you are safe.

SPEAKER_00: 13:47

Yeah, it reminds me of a quote. Uh, one of my senior enlisted leaders, I've worked at small clinics. My job is a hospital administrator. So normally I work or could work at larger hospitals, but so far I've worked at smaller clinics. And so they don't have emergency rooms and things like that. But one of his quotes I always loved, he's like, if there's no emergency room, there's really no true emergency. And he was talking about everything being the number one priority, everything being due yesterday, all these things. He's like, no one's actually laying on the table like exposed and dying in our clinics as they're relatively small. He's like, they could be at some locations, but I was thought that was a good way to reframe it. Like things, not everything needs to be number one and like hair on fire and you know, stay late to do these things. You know, maybe there are certain things at certain times, but I think we kind of work ourselves a little crazy when no one's on the table and back to like the saber-tooth tiger.

SPEAKER_01: 14:41

I agree. And when we start thinking of what's out of our control, I feel like we lose control within ourselves. And that's when the anxiety comes up. And it's for, you know, my in my experience, when I start future tripping, I'm like, okay, why are you future tripping? This hasn't happened. It's probably never gonna happen. Come back. And I think gratitude is an incredible tool. And I use it every day. Like I struggle every day. Like I have to, you know, get my reptilian mind, like, okay, you're safe, you're fine, don't worry.

SPEAKER_00: 15:09

So on the show, that's one thing I love to touch on. So if you could, like, do you have actionable tips and tricks? I think a lot of times, you know, we talk in hypotheticals, and this would be nice. So, what do you actually do to get through those difficult things each day?

SPEAKER_01: 15:24

Yeah. You know what's funny? This morning I had a um a memory come up, and I think I was, you know, 23, 24 years old. I had was still living at home. I was, you know, just not in a good place at home with my family, not in a good place in the job I was in, and not in a good place with the relationship I was in. And I left all three. Like I moved out of my home with only a thousand dollars in my pocket. I left my job with only a thousand dollars in my pocket, and I broke up with my boyfriend. And so when I was thinking about my gosh, today feels a little bit heavy, that memory came into my mind. I'm like, oh my gosh, Grace, all at one time, like you left all of these things, you know, situations that weren't serving you. This morning, you're totally fine. And I was able to go straight to the gratitude and I shifted my state immediately.

SPEAKER_00: 16:18

Nice. Yeah, that's perfect. You're like, oh, I've overcome a lot bigger, you know, I've picked up my whole life and started over. So the milk running out with the cereal or whatever, you know, in the morning is not that big of a deal.

SPEAKER_01: 16:31

Seriously, you know, again, being of a former perfectionist and you know, someone who always has an idea of a compelling future and there's, you know, ways that I want to live and be. Sometimes when things don't go my way, you know, I get triggered, and then I have to step back and remind myself, you know, surrender, accept, allow, and have faith.

SPEAKER_00: 16:54

Makes sense. So back to the victim versus, you know, success type thing. It just hins hinges on a very fine line, it seems like when you're helping others, how do you help others see that their past doesn't need to define their future?

SPEAKER_01: 17:12

That's a great question. Well, again, you know, we you we use the past as evidence, evidence of what's possible, evidence of what you've already overcome. So not only do we look at the wins, but we look at the adversity because oftentimes we believe that our wins really cultivate our confidence and the high performance resilience, but it's really our adversities. Because when you can look back and say, wow, I overcame that, that builds confidence and that helps you get to the wins.

SPEAKER_00: 17:41

Yeah, I totally agree with that. Because in the military, we use this term for resilience, like the rubber band, and we say it's like, oh, your ability to bounce back. And it's always one that I've never connected with or really made sense to me. But I had another coworker, she was one of my very first episodes, but she was taught the paper plate method, which I thought was way better and a better visual because I love to be able to visualize what people are talking about. So she was talking about a paper plate. If you had a single plate and they put a large helping of something, like some problem on your plate, it's going right on the floor. You can't handle it. But once you conquered things and gotten through a bunch of different stuff, those are all separate paper plates. Now you have five to ten built up and you can take that large bowl of spaghetti or whatever it is, and you're able to withstand it. But you get through it and you build up. It's not just a band snapping back into position, because that never really made sense. But have you heard of anyone's kind of like that?

SPEAKER_01: 18:36

I like the paper plate and I feel like that's the compound effect. Like you're building your resilience muscles. And what I've noticed from my experience, although, you know, I am experiencing, you know, a storm in my life right now, it doesn't throw me off course. Like I'm still able to experience joy. I'm still able to move forward in my business and in my personal life. It's it's not drowning me. However, I wouldn't be able to thrive and kind of harness the energy of this storm if I hadn't been doing the work, if I hadn't looked back and connected the dots as, you know, past adversity is being evidence of what I am able to do. So I'm not just white knuckling it and waiting for the storm to pass. I'm still, you know, I'm thriving. I'm like that Fortune 500 company starting during a downtime. I have lever I'm gonna have leverage over those who are in fear during this crazy chaotic time.

SPEAKER_00: 19:31

Yeah, that makes sense. I love to share stories on the show. Can you take us back to a specific time if that's possible? I mean, there's a lot of different ones where you felt like your circumstances were stacked against you, yet you found a way through.

SPEAKER_01: 19:43

Well, you know, the economic crisis of 2008. I had been in business, you know, n almost 10 years by then, and we were very successful. And I walked into the office on January 2009, and we had zero billing. I had never experienced anything. like that. And so my livelihood was taken away overnight. And I had to lay off, you know, employees. And it wasn't I wasn't the only one affected. You know, there were many people affected. But having never experienced something like that before, it really affected me. And I played the victim for a couple months and then I knew like I had to make a choice. And I I had to put my big girl panties on. And the way I did that was okay, people need support. So I focused on helping others. And that got us through 2009. And at the end of the year, you know, my accountant was surprised that, you know, we made it out in the blank black. Granted, it didn't look like it the years before, but we still made it through. And it was, it was a tough year, very tough year. Because I had never experienced anything like that. We're experiencing something similar now, but because I've been through you know four downturns and the pandemic, it sucks. And this is temporary.

SPEAKER_00: 20:57

Yeah. This too much uh shell pass. Everything's always changing. The only thing constant is change. What do you think between, you know, your four or five times through this, what do you think your biggest takeaway is that you've learned on how to address these things as they come up now? Or are they kind of unique, I guess, maybe for each one?

SPEAKER_01: 21:17

At the for me, at the end of the day, it's about having faith in the God of my understanding. I know I'm taking the steps each day to get up, to move forward, to be of service, you know, to do my spiritual practice, my emotional practice, physical practice, do all of those things. So I know I'm putting, you know, the effort in and I trust the process. And the way I do it different now, I used to be hustling grind. And yes, now I take massive action during these times and I rest. Just because we are in a season doesn't mean I have to go 24-7. The rest is going to help me also get through the storm.

SPEAKER_00: 21:57

Yeah, that makes sense, which is a perfect transition because your next pillar is surrender, faith, and trusting the process. Surrender can be kind of a loaded word. How do you define surrender?

SPEAKER_01: 22:09

Well, for me, you know, being, you know, initially a fighter and loving, you know, the eye of the tiger and Rocky, like I'm going to get through this. I'm going to fight my way through it. Like I thought surrender, like I'm not going to give up. Like I'm not someone who gives up. And then I learned that surrender is not about giving up. It's really about letting go and accepting where you are and being open to more and better. And so I practice surrender all of the time and it's not always easy. But I can feel it in my body when I surrender. And it's amazing what happens. Like I can be in a situation where I'm about to I'm about to lose it and I'm like, okay, Grace, it's out of your control. Breathe, surrender, let go. And the solution like comes instantly. I'm like, okay, had I not surrendered and I just would have lost my my cap like lost it, the solution wouldn't have come so easily so easily.

SPEAKER_00: 23:01

That's awesome that you know you got the positive spin on it. Because I think there's certain things like self-care, I think it's another one that's like really popular right now and people use it as an excuse to buy too much or get massages and not that I'm downplaying either of those. Everyone recharges in a completely different way. So if that's your thing, that's your thing. But sometimes I think the words throughout you know time or maybe because they're buzzwords right now kind of lose their meaning. So I like how you were able to define surrender, being able to you know relinqu relinquish but uh you know not necessarily give up. You're not rolling over or giving up. Uh-uh was there a defining moment where faith became more than just a concept but more of a lifeline.

SPEAKER_03: 23:43

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, there was.

SPEAKER_01: 23:48

You know in September of 2022 I was diagnosed with cancerous growth on my thyroid. Actually I had a thyroidectomy in September 2022 I was diagnosed in July and they told me that I would never be the same again. And I was like yeah most situations in my life I was told I was going to fail or it wasn't gonna work out. And this time although I've always had faith and a a love for the God of my understanding this situation helped me lean into it even deeper and cultivate a deeper sense of spirituality and now I I feel like I just have a it's just a knowing I have within myself. No matter what, I will be okay. It will work out. And I have 54 years of evidence to prove that I am okay better than ever you know so they said I'd never be the same again.

SPEAKER_00: 24:42

My health would decline and here I am still here getting up each day with uh a little bit of peace that maybe knows no understanding. So I was wondering you had talked a couple times about trusting the process I feel like I've heard that a lot as well what does trusting the process look like in the messy middle before the b breakthrough?

SPEAKER_01: 25:03

I hear what you're saying about you know hearing trusting the process and it's it's it's not doesn't mean don't take accountability and do whatever you want. It means taking accountability and when you take accountability and take take those steps like you talked about you're doing the right thing everything will unfold the way it's meant to. Because we can't control everything, but we can control how we show up, we can control our actions, our decisions and then trust the process from there. And I love how you said it's like self-care and then people aren't really taking accountability or these buzzwords. I feel like in all of this, like we need to take accountability first.

SPEAKER_00: 25:49

Yeah I definitely agree. One of the things that drives me nuts, I don't have many pet peeves, but one of them for whatever reason is the term lucky because for some reason like I have, you know, I feel like I've done pretty well in a work standpoint and I've tried to come in early and stay late and take care of people and do my best, you know, be the best that I can be and grow others and grow myself. But it always just drives me nuts when I get a promotion or get the assignment I want or I get something that kind of lines up and inevitably it seems like every time there'll be somebody goes lucky I'm like I think there probably is luck in a little bit of everything. So I will not discount it at all. But like to your point, I've been in the rooms that I need to be in with the people that need to help me, doing the things I need to do. And it really reminds me of like the iceberg meme or there's like different images for it, but it's like all that grinding underneath the water late nights or you know staying away and doing different things and then at the top of the iceberg above the water is always like you know the assignment or the thing that you wanted. It's like, oh it must be so nice.

SPEAKER_01: 27:01

It's like well if you would have shown up and done the things maybe you'd be there too do you kind of feel that same way so you just hit a nerd with me because you know there was an elderly lady in my life that would always say you're so lucky and I'd get so like upset. And then I have another friend she's like it's just luck. Yes, I'm lucky that my parents immigrated to the United States and I got to be born here. That's lucky. However all of you know my success you're right like I was in the gym I'm still in the gym five days a week I still walk on top of that five days a week. Even when my kids were young every day even when my kids were young I would find time to do these things. I'd be up till one o'clock in the morning working I would you know miss out on social events because I wanted to be present for my kids and my business. And I still do that. So I'm not where I'm at because of luck.

SPEAKER_00: 27:55

I'm where I'm at because I'm committed and consistent and I do the I do the work Yeah I I agree it's uh definitely frustrating I know there's sometimes like I put different people like my troops and whatnot in for awards and you're like they'll lose and I'll be like, oh why'd they lose and come to find out someone else had like pulled someone out of a burning building or something. But just like every once in a while I'm like, okay, there's there's nothing you can do about that. You did what you needed to you showed up you know you were committed but they were a hero on some random day or something. So I I think there are times but yeah I think if you're doing what you're supposed to generally you know things come through the way they're supposed to maybe not always right away. I think that's another thing we aren't very good with delayed gratification. We want everything now which is crazy. I mean we have fast food and all these things we just want everything like quicker and better and faster all the time. And I think some things like we talked about the resilience like some of those come from the long difficult times.

SPEAKER_01: 28:56

Absolutely and you know I've been doing you know the staffing for 26 years. Ten years ago I started the coaching side of the business and now I'm realizing as I'm reflecting, I'm like holy cow, those 26 years were preparing me for you know this next chapter in my career to serve, to be a servant leader. And it didn't come overnight. And so there I don't believe in overnight success.

SPEAKER_00: 29:21

I I really I don't it's so funny uh if my brother ever listens to this episode, which I doubt he will, I always think this one's funny because he was addicted for a while to Shark Tank. And he'd always see these ones and like they'd get picked up and he's like look all you gotta do is have like one idea and then it'll get taken and you'll be rich and I I was always trying to convey to him like that's probably like their 20th product their 30th product like they've probably done a whole bunch of different things. I doubt I mean maybe I don't know one out of a thousand is like their first ever but I really doubt those are their first ones and I've also mentioned the show like WD 40 you know the lubricant you have in your garage the yellow and blue it's in every household in the world but it was the 40th recipe so they had 39 that sucked and they had to keep pushing until they got to 40. So you never know which one it's going to be.

SPEAKER_01: 30:15

Totally and I always in business I think of two a few things the Shawshank redemption you know so Andy Dufresne was in his cell just picking away at it and so when I get like oh my gosh it hasn't happened yet it's not happening um I think of Andy Dufresne and I think of famous Amos because famous Amos they say he knocked on you know a thousand doors before someone bought his cookies. So and you know I just Colonel Sanders I just found out I love Kentucky fried chicken haven't had it forever but I love it. He was like 65 before Kentucky fried chicken.

SPEAKER_00: 30:54

Yeah I saw a picture the other day I wish I could remember who all was in it. It was like a panel and it had four or five people in it and yeah it was a bunch of like famous famous to us now people but they it was like 40 50 60 I was like they didn't wake up one day and like they were older on in their on their days so yeah you never really know. We always think that it's like supposed to be super young but things can happen anytime throughout all the people you've helped and things you worked on what do you think is the biggest like misconception on overcoming your adversity the biggest misconception of overcoming your adversity that while you're in the adversity you have to be miserable.

SPEAKER_01: 31:40

And Okay I don't believe we need to be miserable while we're going through the adversity. I believe we get to make a choice like hey yes we're going through some hard times right now but that doesn't mean that I need to be unhappy and struggling going while I'm we're going through it. Because pain is inevitable. I mean I didn't make this up I think it was Buddha but pain is inevitable struggling is optional.

SPEAKER_00: 32:05

Yeah that's good that's good I like that so it doesn't have to just suck to suck. You can have it give it purpose or you know frame your mindset which I think goes back to our, you know, we were talking earlier about the victim mindset and it's so so easy on that thin line between using it for fuel to become better than you ever thought you could or you know going to drugs. I mean it's like right there where you just got to figure out what you're using it for and why you're using it. So that's a good that's a good reminder. Yeah self-awareness your last pillar is high performance resilience. How do you define resilience in the context of showing up strong in life and business?

SPEAKER_01: 32:45

I think it's just what we just spoke about is when we're going through the adversity instead of white you know white knuckling it to really harness the energy because when we're going through adversity we typically find ourselves in a fight or flight response. You know, it's natural. So number one regulating our nervous system and then harnessing that energy to move yourself forward. So you have that leverage. Like we don't need to white knuckle it and wait for the storm to pass. Let's harness that energy of the storm and use it like you said for purpose and you know being of service to others when you're going through a challenging time is one of the most healing things that you can do. Because oftentimes when we're going through struggle we're focusing on ourselves and how we're not getting what we want and that creates the anxiety. And so taking the focus off of ourselves you know and putting it on there's always someone that needs you know to be held or seen or or supported. And so cultivating that high performance resilience isn't about white knuckling it. It's about riding the storm and then you build that muscle so the next time you're going through it, like I said, we don't have to be miserable while we're going through our challenges Yeah that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00: 34:06

I love the idea of helping others because there's very few times we're gonna help somebody and not feel good about it. So you're gonna get yourself out of you know thinking about yourself like you said and then maybe a little bonus you you feel good about it. So I mean why not? It's a win-win there shouldn't be too many times you're helping others and it really backfires.

SPEAKER_01: 34:26

What's your process for bouncing back not eventually but consistently for me you know managing my state like we talked about earlier when this morning things didn't go my way and then I was you know upset and I said okay hold on stop pause take a deep breath right now I'm grateful for the opportunity that I am able to get out of bed. I have my legs like I have a sister who's disabled each morning she has to wait for someone to help her out of bed. That right there, it just shifts shifts my mood. So because we can't be in gratitude and in fear at the same time or in gratitude and in you know stress at the same time it really helps shift us. I know it may be cliche and it's very powerful yeah I agree.

SPEAKER_00: 35:12

And I feel like a lot of times in the show I say super cliche things but if they're true, I mean unfortunately they're true and I'm gonna keep saying them. And I did see recently I forgot where it was but that thing about gratitude and how it like overpowers your brain that's pretty awesome where you can't have the anxiety I think it was they were looking at different parts of your brain lighting up in a machine it's like once you go to gratitude the other one just goes black. Like that's just the way it works. It's pretty pretty cool where you can either do one or the other or in a weird way of like when you were hurt as a kid and then somebody would like punch your leg or something like, oh it doesn't hurt anymore, right? Because your leg would hurt versus your hand or whatever it was.

SPEAKER_01: 35:52

You're totally right because we can't focus on more than one thing at a time. So once we start focusing on the gratitude it it breaks our state from you know whatever the lack was and it puts us in a state of gratitude. You know what else I love that helps me is music. Like I'll put I love Justin Timberlake's I got this feeling because I feel like music has frequency and high frequency and so when I put music on that just I can feel it reverberate through my body and that changes my state right away too I was wondering a couple times you mentioned nervous system regulation.

SPEAKER_00: 36:25

Do you have practical things? Is there a certain breathing way or like what do you do when you start to identify some of those things?

SPEAKER_01: 36:33

Totally my breath because sometimes I don't breathe and I kind of use gratitude and the breathing at the same time and and the thoughts just go up and I just keep repeating one thing after another that I'm grateful for as I'm breathing. And that really helps you know regulate my nervous system because if we're in a constant state of fight or flight like most of us are, we're in a state of survival and when we're in our state of survival, we're not resourceful and we're not going to hear or see anything. The only thing we're gonna be focusing on is how to survive.

SPEAKER_00: 37:06

Yeah, that is interesting. I was watching a thing and again I can't remember what it was but it was like we were talking about earlier the caveman brain or reptilian brain and your ability to be innovative is like next to nothing if you don't want to take risk and try new things and set up step outside your comfort zone. So it is interesting how your brain again like focuses or shifts from one thing to another so if you want to be safe then you kind of stay in one spot but if you like you said want to switch over and be more innovative you need to you know be a little bit more open and things like that. But you're shifting from one to another so like you said if you're always in that you know fight or flight you're not making very innovative decisions or creative or new things. You're kind of just doing the same old thing.

SPEAKER_01: 37:47

Exactly and I think that's where we get stuck in the loop and that's why meditation and prayer or taking a walk, you know, there's different forms of meditation. You know, I know I have a few friends that use meditate walking as a meditation. But I mean for those who are listening or watching oftentimes when you're in the shower because you feel the water flowing on you and you're kind of in that relaxed state. I don't know about you, but how many ideas have come to my mind in the shower? It's amazing.

SPEAKER_00: 38:14

Yeah there's a reason they have the term shower thoughts because those thoughts are are pretty powerful. And another place is is the gym, you know, the title of my show mental fitness but I know there's a quite a few people I work out with the morning and they're like my meditation is the hour in the morning.

SPEAKER_01: 38:30

Totally.

SPEAKER_00: 38:30

And at first I was like oh that's kind of you're not meditating your heart rate's up like and like you said like we always seem to think it's cross legged with certain music sitting on the floor or whatever but there's a whole bunch of different stuff. So if they find you know that peace and that resetting and recharging in the gym then that's the meditation. So I think sometimes we want it to be too specific as someone you know a monk hitting a gong or or something specific.

SPEAKER_01: 38:57

But I was curious can you share a story where your mindset made all the difference in the outcome of what you were going through you know I feel like again in September of 2022 when I was diagnosed with the cancerous growths on the thyroid and they told me I'd never be the same again that was in July and so my surgery wasn't until September. So I had two months to really get committed to the vision of my future self and I I really feel that I I shifted the timeline with because of the work I did just focusing on a healthy version of myself. Had I slipped into the fear when the doctor said you'd never be the same again because I was like do you know who you're talking to like don't tell me that I feel that was you know a time that I really just dove into my mindset and at the same time I was going through a challenge In my marriage, and recognize that was something I had to make a change with as well. So two major life transitions at the same time. And had I not used mindset, I I don't know where I'd be today.

SPEAKER_00: 40:13

So did you go through five stages of grief, or could you walk us through briefly what the processing of that that news That's a great question?

SPEAKER_01: 40:24

Five stages of grief. I I don't know if I went through all five stages. I definitely, you know, went through just like why why, you know, why now? Questioning it, denial.

SPEAKER_03: 40:40

Some anger.

SPEAKER_01: 40:42

For sure, anger. Like the anger came out like whiplash. Like, you know, I whiplashed you. And you know, it's been it's gonna be three years in September. And I'll tell you, it's been a wild ride to get to where I am. Like my whole lifestyle changed. And it has not been easy, but like you said earlier, it's like, okay, like committed to these steps, committed to these decisions, committed to these actions. And look, it's taken almost three years. The first year I was feeling better, but it was a whole lifestyle shift. And it like we said earlier, it doesn't happen overnight. Like my fitness, my spirituality, emotionally, mentally, physically, financially. It wasn't overnight. Like the last three years have been very committed and focused.

SPEAKER_00: 41:29

Yeah. One of my favorite things for the gym mantras, maybe it is, is uh commitment over, or no, not commitment, consistency over motivation. That's like my favorite. Because I feel like motivation is this thing that comes and goes. It's a feeling, like some days you'll feel like it, but consistency is just that's it. Like you need to go and you're gonna go. And one of my coaches I use on tonal, Joe Rodonis, he uses the term non-negotiable. I like that one too. Like working out is a non-negotiable. There's not and that gives a different frame to me because you could be like, oh, it's too cold, or I didn't get my shoes out, or I don't have the socks I like. But once you label non-negotiable, that that's it. There's no justifying it or playing it over in my head. It's already in the category of non-negotiable. So I also love the consistency.

SPEAKER_01: 42:18

For sure. For me, it's the steps every day and the workout is non-negotiable. And some days I'm like, oh, I really don't want to do it. I'd rather, you know, sleep in or sit on the couch. But I'm like, no, it's a non-negotiable. If you want the results and you want that future, you know, life, then I get up and go. There, it's a non-negotiable every single day.

SPEAKER_00: 42:42

Yeah, motivation won't always be there, but consistency always wins.

SPEAKER_01: 42:46

It does.

SPEAKER_00: 42:47

Well, Grace, I'd like to try to bring it all together. What's your message to the person listening who's tired, stuck, or ready to give up, but still has a tiny spark left?

SPEAKER_01: 42:56

I would say if you're tired and you're ready to give up, definitely rest. Bring some play and fun, because we didn't even talk about that. Like play and fun is so important. Do not quit because despite your circumstances, you can absolutely make it and do it. Just rest, play, have fun, pause, don't quit. If I could do it and get to where I am, anybody can do it.

SPEAKER_00: 43:21

And you just never know like how close you are. There's a picture I saw the other day where it's like the guy and he's mining and he's about to take one more swing, and the other side of this little tiny piece of dirt is like a diamond or treasure chest or whatnot, and he ends up walking away. He doesn't know the next swing is like what's going to get him there. He feels like he's too tired, he's gone too far, so he's gonna walk away. And that's one I should print and like hang on my mirror. So I'm like, that's a good one. You don't know if it's the next one, like W-40. They went from 39 to 40. 40 was the jackpot, and now, you know, it's in every household in the world, I think. I I've gotten it in, I think, Japan and the UK.

SPEAKER_01: 43:57

So Yeah, no idea.

SPEAKER_00: 43:59

Well, Grace, thank you for sharing your heart, your fight, and your faith. Your story reminds us that comeback is always stronger than the setback. And surrender doesn't mean giving up, it means giving over. Before we close out, where can listeners connect with you, your coaching, and your speaking?

SPEAKER_01: 44:15

Yes, they can find me at www.graceredman.com, and that's R-E-D-M-A-N. And you can also Google me and my social medias, IG, LinkedIn, Facebook. Looking forward to hearing from you.

SPEAKER_00: 44:29

Sounds good. Well, thank you so much, Grace, for coming out. To everyone tuning in, thank you for spending this time with us. If today's episode encouraged you, share it with us, someone that needs it, leave a review and let us know your favorite takeaway. This is Mind Force. I love you all. See ya.